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"This is Africa".

^ Blood Diamonds. I'm not a fan Dicaprio (he's another celebrity I'd like a blow-up doll of so I can punch it in the face), but the dude played the role with finesse. The film was A material (though a bit condescending in places) right up until that scene at the end where he's wounded and making a phone call to that woman who's name I forget.

I mean come on: even considering that they needed a love interest in the plot, why in the living fuck climax it when there's mercenaries running up a mountain to blow the man's brains all over it? Totally pretentious.

Then there's Last King of Scotland (I'm ranting about the recent flux in films regarding Africa, in case you hadn't guessed it). I nearly micturated myself watching this. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. You physically want to reach into the screen to open-hand slap the leading role (...who's name I forget...) upside the head. It's also a great portrayal of how utterly fuck-nuts and nightmarish Idi Ahmein was; both as a character and as a ruler. Played excellently by Forest Whittaker, I might add. Even though the character was downright repulsive, I still couldn't shake the urge to hug the fella. He's downright the most huggable actor in existence today.

Lastly, The Constant Gardener. This film made me cry like a little girl. That South African doctor summed up the moral behind the film with "this is how the world fucks Africa, Mr Quayle". It made me seethe to comprehend how callously corporations and countries alike have treated such a vulnerable continent. Fuck apartheid; corporate imperialist activity is where the heat's at.

Truly epic if you can work past the quaint English accents (which, I hasten to add, is not how the majority of British people speak ).

So anyway, if you haven't seen any one of these films watch them; they'll further if not downright revolutionise your perspective of this beautiful yet terrible continent, and if you have seen them then share with me your feelings.

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