Being a Stoner Parent

Posted by Matt Tomas & filed under Opinion.

Weed - Being a Stoner Parent

Many marijuana smokers give the habit up once they decide to raise children. As a parent, it’s often considered a major taboo if you participate in the herbal community, let alone if you mention it at your kid’s soccer game. If it is brought up, most parents will look at you and smile rehashing their college days of smoking in dorm rooms. Then, they shake their heads and say that it was a long time ago and that is that. The truth is, many of these same parents will come home and knock off a bottle of wine, maybe three or four beers, or simply pop an anti-anxiety or pain killer pill each night. Being a stoner parent can be just as effective as using alcohol or pills without the unhealthy side-effects of liver disease or addiction.

Discretion

The education system is hell bent on keeping our children drug-free and for good reason. The abuse of methamphetamine, tobacco, cocaine, and even cough syrup has been overwhelming. So, if you are a stoner parent you do not want to get caught by your narc-in-training kid. Therefore, it is important to be discreet with your herb. Keep it locked in a lock box and never spark up around kids. Waiting until they go to bed or taking a walk with some strong cologne is best.

Driving

A recent study titled “Medical Marijuana Laws, Traffic Fatalities, and Alcohol Consumption”, conducted by Mark Anderson and Daniel Rees in November 2011 states that increased marijuana use by adults has actually caused a decrease in driving accidents and fatalities. That said, a stoner parent should never smoke and then drive with their children.

Being a Better Parent

Because the side effects of marijuana use are minimal, it’s safe to say that a stoner parent may very well be a better parent. Given the high stress of dealing with the spoiled or entitled children that seem more prevalent today than when we were young, getting stoned just may be the natural de-stresser needed to remain calm, kind, and compassionate rather than the inebriated, violent, military father often depicted on screen.

Sex

Another perk of being a stoner parent is how marijuana can save a married couples sex life. After feeding, cleaning, and sometimes arguing with your kids, it is no wonder that many parents are way too stressed or exhausted to physically connect. Throw in a few puffs of some Sour Diesel or Jack Herer and watch the stress dissipate and the sparks begin to fly.

Stoner parents may feel alone but the more they connect, the more will be able to lift the taboo of this frowned upon, bad-parenting stigma. Bringing marijuana into the hands of more and more parents may just be what America needs right now rather than bickering over inadequate politicians or embedded religious beliefs. Plus, it will keep the noise level down at most kids’ sporting events as more stoner parents sit back, relax, and enjoy the physical talents of their precious offspring.

Comments 6 Comments so far... Add Yours

  1. kbubb91

    its taboo because of the police, if your a parent, the last thing you want is a current criminal record. if it was legal, i bet half of them would be smoking or eating(special brownies, etc.) marijuana. the main reason they quit is, you want police targeting your home/raiding it looking for marijuana with a baby in the house.

    Reply
  2. kbubb91

    plus probation is a bitch, it eats up so much time when being a parent already eats up your free time.

    Reply
  3. sin

    I feel better after a long day with a crying baby I get to watch kid shows spend quality time with my son without being a bitch or cranky.

    Reply

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