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manny

I read an article once a long time ago (don't remember where, but it was somewhere on the internet) about love and relationships. When two people who had previously never met were put together and asked to share personal details about themselves, they tended to take a liking to each other. I'd venture a guess that they were asked to share stuff like their daily schedules, previous friendships/relationships, secrets they held, etc. The first couple (man and woman) that this experiment was done on ended up getting married.

I believe that this is what happens on a smaller scale when friendships are forged. You and I get to talking. I mention that, say, I support a certain candidate for president next November. You say that you agree, but for different reasons that I do. Or alternatively, you DON'T agree, preferring another candidate because he supports this or that issue or is more likely to win and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah politics. Then somebody sparks a bowl and we both start smoking it. BAM! We're both outlaws, hiding something which rightfully should not be hid. We're in the same boat.

In this example, we have both just had an exchange of ideas, a walk through each other's minds, opinions, trains of thought, and even actions. We're sharing souls.

Of course, some souls are different than others, and you are not going to like or be liked by every person that you meet. Whatever floats your boat.

So what determines who you'll like and who you won't like?

How you were raised. Common interests. Social status (a pretty shallow one, I think). Mutual benefit (ditto). Being "in the same boat" as another (see the two stoners in the above example). There's a number of things. A book that I own claims that opposites attract and likes repel, but this is among a therapeutic community of the mentally ill, so I wouldn't stretch it. But yes, hanging out only with people like you does end up like hanging out with your mirror.

In the past, when our ancestors were still furry and living in trees and forest floors, our friendships were determined by what group we were born into. If you helped out members of your own kind, with DNA similar to yours, you had a greater chance of at least *some* of your DNA being brought into the next generation, via them, even if you yourself were eaten by a predator, fell off a cliff, got hit by a falling tree, etc. before you ever reproduced. It's natural selection at work. Over time, the need for socialization became so ingrained that now human sanity depends upon it, and some scientists think the need for being with other people is as important as the needs for things like nutrition and sex.

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It's so great, being able to come to a site like this and pretend we all smoke pot...