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ADR531

is love worth it in high school? ive been in relationships before and had a lot of fun, but theyve always ended hard. after a few months she pulled some **** and now we aren't friends. and this has happened with a lot of girls the ones i fell in love (or really liked) end up being enemies in the end and talk **** behind my back. i dunno if theyre jealous or want to ruin my future or what.

i think the saying is true that love turns to hate. its impossible to stay friends. and i guess ive learned some things in these relationships, but it just confuses me to hell as to move on. why bother? im thinking about just not caring about anything and hook up with them at parties and try and have friends with benefits or something. maybe that would be better. anyone have anything to say about this or been in a situation like this?

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FreudPhilly

Love is definitely "worth it" in high school. Besides college, you will have FEW opportunities in life to have so many different people available to date.

The other piece to it is... you need to get this type of attitude over with: "OMG I LOVE U SO MUCH WE WILL GET MARRIED, WAIT WE"VE ONLY BEEN DATING FOR 2 WEEKS AND NOW UR BREAKING UP WITH ME"

As you said, "thinking about just not caring about anything and hook up with them at parties and try and have friends with benefits or something. "

What better place to get it out of our system than high school?

Seriously though, the more experience you have with dating a bunch of people who are WRONG for you, you will know when 'the one' comes around.

It does hurt: true love and true hate are extremes of the same emotion. I don't agree with being friends after a break-up. Why? Basically, when you break up with somebody (or they break-up with you), the message is: "There is something about you that I cannot stand, that irritates me so much that I cannot ignore it, and I will feel much more comfortable not having you near me". Would you want to be friends with somebody who told you that to your face? Oh, and the mixed signals are very confusing and emotionally tiresome: "We just broke up, but lets be friends". Sorry, I don't hurt my friends. If I'm not willing to risk the friendship, I won't get involved with her in the first place.

Don't go looking for true love- just look for friends. You can never have enough of them. If you're looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend- Once you become good friends with a girl/guy that seems cool, you might find yourself developing feelings for her/him. Wait a few months, then try and talk about it.

One of the big problems with high-school relationships is that folks get really infatuated with each other but never really get to KNOW each other. Or if they do get to know each other, its not because they are spending alot of time together, instead its through e-mail or the phone or whatever. Getting to know someone through an INDIRECT way creates idealistic expectations/fantasies that will always be let down.

Hope some of this helps. I'm 25, am engaged to a wonderful woman (been together for 5 years, known her for 6.. we were friends first), and was a complete social retard in high school.

PhreshwaterPhunk

im in highschool, and i completly completly disagree with thinking that being friends isnt possible after a relationship. when i first started this year, there was this girl i was really good friends with and had been for quite some time. we went out and had some fun and stayed together for about 5 months. then things started going wack and we broke up and it sucked. but as of now we are even better friends. best friends even. its always possible.

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"Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."Hunter S. Thompson

strange_blaze

ADR...
dude...I dont think that only relationships in high school turn bad. What i mean is, relationships are going to go downhill if you arnt meant to be together no matter what age you are. I suppose its just the way life is...nothing we can do about that (tho im sure we all wish that we could just find 'the one' a **** of alot easier than it seems to be) but i suppose it really does help in the end. For myself, if i didnt have those relationships that ended terribly then i wouldnt be the person i am right now, and i wouldnt know the things i know right now. So i guess its all worth it.............. right?
And that stuff about the chicks talking smack aobut u and trying to ruin your future or whatever...well i think that might be a highschool immaturity thing...but i really dont know, maybe youve just dated some very malicious girls, i mean, im a girl and i have never talked **** about a guy or tried to ruin hium just cuz we broke up....thats pretty lame



peace

p.s. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! be safe

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macphearsome

I was friends with a girl that I really like for a long time. We hung out together every other day last summer before I finally told her. We dated for two months, then she broke up with me. She said she realized that she thought of me as more of a friend than anything else. We're still friends, so theres proof. You can still be friends after a breakup. We can still talk on the phone and stuff, too, so sometimes it works out okay.
So there you go. Breaking up doesnt have to be hostile, and it doesnt mean the end of the friendship.

As for the question, is love worth it in highschool, the answer is yes. It was a good two months. Neither of us has any regrets, and at the very least, I gained experience for my next relationship.

 

InNeedOfWeed420

I was gonna reply to this, but on second thought my last boyfriend was neither sane nor rational so maybe I can't base anything on that. I think it's true that people in high school get way too caught up in infatuation and don't really get to know each other...for the beginning of the relationship anyway. I've found if this happens you don't usually get past the beginning of the relationship, so then you know you weren't meant for each other anyway. I've given up on finding love in high school so I'm just trying to make guy friends. The friends with benefits thing can be alright, but it can also result in miscommunication and end up a disasterous mess. But there's always college, and I'm really hoping I'll have better luck there.

in_the_groove79

so..back in HS I never had boyfriends...never. I was that girl everyone just wanted to be friends with. Basically, one of the guys. My theory on Love.. it will come to you, when you are ready for it and not searching for it. Maybe there are things in life you need to accomplish before it really does happen. Travel, see the world..or America, write a song...dance naked in the rain. tralala.

mystikalMJ

i think its best when love relationships are based upon really good friendships. me and my gf are more or so good friends than we bf/gf. but thats great, we can joke around like friends, smoke weed together like friends, no worries or nothing. relationships are better when they are built around strong strong friendships.

in_the_groove79

friendship is key. How do you feel about love at first sight though? My husband and I knew eachother for 2 weeks, and got married...shortly after...

truthseeker1998

Yeah back in HS I had a boyfriend because I was being a follower in that particular area of my life. We were really good friends and one of our mutual friends suggested that we become an item. BIG MISTAKE to me. He cheated on me with this girl who would sleep with him and now they are married with two beautiful children.
It took me until my mid-twenties to meet my significant other. I thought I would be older since there are so many people who could benefit from my charm but love called me and I could not ignore. I must admit that I had plenty of fun while waiting for love and when it came it took me a while to adjust, but I could not have asked for anything greater!