dan1el_l1u

What up my fellow stoners. I am 17 years of age and I have been smoking for around 3 years now. I noticed that many of my smoking experiences was correlated with deep and intense thoughts. I referred to them as "genious trips". Being a psychology major, I become very skillful in analyzing people and situations. My highs usually end with guilt trips of not striving to be a better person. I noticed that the majority of my times being stoned were me trying to engage in activities that benefits me, such as doing homework (very difficult), writing about ways to improve my life, writing daily schedules to follow, working out, and deep intense thoughts about the direction I am heading in life. I am never able to smoke and kickback and have fun. It sometimes seems as if I am unconditionally following the demands of my superego. After I fall asleep, I would revert back to my original state, hence losing all my great ambitions. I strive to be a better person, but it is easier said then done. My use of marijuana has made me consciously aware in what I must do in order to succeed. I also have noticed that if I start marijuana use heavily, my ambitious highs would start to fade, making me a addicted zombie. Upon analyzing myself, I realized that this may be normal for someone my age. I believe I am in the transition of adulthood, ultimately transforming my psyche into a mature adult. My personality is very much interested in philosophy, in which one of my greatest hobbies is having intelligent conversatios about life in general. I dont know if anyone else experienced this type of "enlightenment", but I am feeling very frustrated and confused. I tell myself during my times of altered perception that I am capably of being perfect. To strive for perfection is basically the main train of thought I have when I am high. I dont know where I am getting at, perhaps I am rambling. Comments? Questions?

Thanks if anyone read this, I just had to get all these thoughts out of my mind!