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Zeked

If I might take my pennies out and lob them onto the table, here is my experience...

In Middle and High School I was big jock guy. I was a very important piece in our school's very successful football program. It was unique because prior to our graduating class hitting 9th grade, our varsity football team was winning maybe a game a year, if they were lucky. So, this made my "fame" even greater because we were having success for the first time. I say that to make the point that I had a ton of opportunities from early on. I will admit that there were times when I wanted to just say "Hell with it, let's do this." But, I had promised myself from a very young age that when I lost my virginity, it was going to mean something!

So, i waited and waited and waited. It felt like forever. Finally, I was a senior in High School. I was 17, almost 18. I was still a virgin. But then, I fell in love with a sophomore who had just come into the school. We hit it off straight away. She was also a virgin. We put it off until a moment that was right for the both of us and we were very much in love with each other. It was beautiful. Yes, we had the typical first time problems where I lasted about 4 seconds and she hurt like hell. Still, in all of that mess, because we were so in love, it was still beautiful.

My point in all of that is that when you find somebody that it is meaningful with, then it is worth it! Until then, no sweat! So what if you are an 18 year old virgin. When it comes up you wear it with pride and ensure the people that you are talking with that it will happen when YOU know it's right, not when other people decide that it is right for you.

My high school sweetheart and I broke up after dating for around 2.5 years but when I look back on having lost my virginity to her, I never, ever regret it. That is incredibly comforting to me. And even now, I am 29 and just went through a divorce almost two years ago. I am living on my own for the first time. I have not had sex in just over a year and I am ok with it. I am ok with it because I know that the reason I have not had sex is because I have chosen not to go out and just sleep around and have wasted one night stands. I am waiting because I refuse to settle for anything less than a woman that I could potentially build a future with.

Stick to your guns bro, there is nothing at all wrong with that!

 

lMarijuana lMan

First off, let me thank each and everyone of you that contributed to my situation, I read each of your posts carefully and got helpful pointers from all of them, I truly appreciate it.

Yeah that's pretty much how I'm feeling, I respect myself enough not to "put myself out there" like some of my friends do, just to get those stripes on their belt ya know, it seems kinda demoralizing and I'm not about to go against what I stand for (self-respect) just to be on par with my friends.

I'm glad to say that I've never lied about being a virgin, if anyone bothered to attempt to put me down because of it I would probably laugh it off and respond in a fashion mentioned by Zeked. Although to this day, nobody has really asked about my sex life.. and I don't feel anybody would try and disrespect me because of it due to type of person I am, respecting myself gains respect from others.


carlover, thanks for your input.. it's always nice to have a mature, experienced addition to topics such as this, it helps me align my priorities now that I'm able to see the situation from other perspectives.

JohnBoy and Spiral I'll definitely keep your tips in mind whenever I'm debating with myself whether I should just go for it, or perhaps wait for the right girl and do myself the favor, as it will hopefully show the girl I'm with that she actually means something to me due to the time I've waited for the "right one".

Everybody else that contributed, once again thanks a lot for taking the time to reassure me of the good behind waiting for the right girl, and to not get caught up in what other's feel I should be doing and when. I suppose it's a battle with myself which only I can end, and having sex doesn't need to be the only answer to the problem, self-respect and confidence can go a long way, and hopefully I'll eventually find the right girl for me and everything will payoff in the end.

As for now, I'm going to enjoy life with Mary Jane, she's quite right for me.

PS- Please feel free to continue posting, I'll definitely be back before the thread dies out, and hopefully others can gain some helpful pointers as well.

Snipe¤Star

Most of my friends have had sex before and I feel like I'm missing out

understatement of the century right here....

DopeGirl

Snipe¤Star

^ what she said

when a guy is really trying to get laid, its really obvious, especially to women. just try to act halfway normal, dont say 99% of the dumb shit that goes through your head, pretend to be interested in whatever arbitrary shit comes out of her mouth, and youll find yourself 'in' before you even know whats happening...

 

DopeGirl

LOL Yea he's right. Dont say no dumb shit just go with the flow! Trust me theres always a nice girl thats willin to give it up to a nice guy...

macphearsome

18... 19... 20. doesn't really matter. don't think about the numbers too much.

I'm turning 23 this year and i'm in the same boat as you. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but I try to keep my head up. I'm a super nice guy and I have to say I consider myself to be better than average looking.

let me share an experience I had this year... don't do what I did.


I had been super productive all semester.. I tried to dodge every single party even though I was couch-surfing on residence and had to constantly pack up my bedding and move around to avoid the parties so I could study in peace and quiet. One night the residents had a themed bowling night, and I tagged along to relax and unwind a bit. After the bowling I was smoking a bowl on my buddies porch with some guys and girls and this girl notices that I'm shivering (it's cold out) and sits down on my lap. I had seen this girl once or twice before and she was super nice but I hadn't taken a second look at her. I hadn't looked twice at any girl, even though now that I look back at it I realize that I was surrounded by hotties (don't ask me how I didn't notice this)

anyways, she invites me to a party at her place the next night... long story short I end up in her bed, and we're both kinda drunk. I'm nervous as hell and totally clumsy but I get her clothes off (despite her hinting at me moving way too fast and me totally not getting the picture) and ask her for a condom. there's a pause and then she's like... no. and puts her clothes back on, but comes back to bed (thank god).

The point is that all the pressure of thinking I was getting laid and trying to decide whether I should tell her that I was a virgin, and getting the clothes off and having no idea where to begin was just super stressful. My favourite part of the night was when she came back to bed and just fell asleep in my arms. Sure it was sort of a landmark experience for me (getting a bra off and all) but looking back, that part of it really means nothing to me.

Anyways, yeah, like everybody else is saying. it's not about the sex. or it shouldn't be. sometimes it's hard when everybody is all about the partying and the random fooling around, but there's nothing wrong with taking it nice and slow even when you're getting random action.

I guess everybody else already said that stuff better, but the point is, yeah. 18 ain't so bad. A lot of really nice, handsome guys have lasted a lot longer (ahem). I'm looking forward to my first time, but I ain't looking for it. Do that.

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"the only way to achieve certainty is to amputate inquiry" - Marvin Minsky

chadwick

be confident and funny, the make a move, dont wait for her like im sure you have done man times, from watching my friend, who is in everyones words the manwhore of 'our town' i learned a lot, he just acted confident and made them laugh next thing you know his hand was on her tit and making out with her, his record is something like 2 minutes from meeting a girl to getting her in bed, she was a slut but you get m point he was good, i have learned everything from him,

first thing i learned is dont loose your virginity to someone you care about unless your waiting to get married, his brother made that mistake and now he stuck with some crazy bitch he liked 3 years ago and their kid, and remember a chick wants your dick almost as much as you want her pussy, and always make your intentions clear you want to fuck, other than that just be ourself find a cute girl and have a drink or two, hell you could even use the virgin thing to your advantage they think its 'cute'

good luck and ALWAYS USE A CONDOM

feedyourhead

no one -- male or female -- enjoys being with someone who pretends to listen to what they are saying and pretends to find interesting. it's incredibly immature, not to mention demeaning and insulting to the person with which you're having the conversation.

girls aren't stupid (at least i'm not) and it's really not that fucking hard to tell when someone is truly interested in what you're saying and is invested in the conversation and when they're faking it all. so no, pretending to be interested in girls won't get you 'in' with any female who's not trashed or just a cheap slut with loose morals. you know, unless that's what you're into.

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sterbo

Oh yes...

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