Crossroads of life, or death... HELP ME!!!!

Merry-juana · 07-13-2008, 11:18 AM

I have been living with my grandmother for my entire life, but she is psychotic. Today I was defending my broken grandfather, since she was screaming at him, he is having life threatening heart trouble because of her. We wanted to get out of the house but she took the keys and locked us out, when I was standing in her door asking for the keys, she freaked out screaming "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!" with the most murderous eyes I have seen in my life, while hitting me and pushing me with what I was sure the intent on killing me. I can not stand this anymore, and I want to go life with my friend, but I do not want to leave my grandfather since he is considering suicide, but I have been trying to kill myself for years now. I do not know what to do, I want to protect my grandfather, but I do not want any more scars in my soul, I do not know how long I can hold this out any longer. I do not want to end up broken like my grandfather, (been there, done that, got the scars on my wrist, don't want to go back.) but I can't imagine leaving him to the mercy of my grandmother. HELP!!!!

Merry-juana · 07-13-2008, 11:31 AM

Anybody, HELP, I need some support, PLEASE!!

NoobMcGee · 07-13-2008, 12:37 PM

Sounds like a case for social services or some such organization.

imFADED · 07-13-2008, 02:15 PM

If you have already talked to your friend and he has confirmed that you can live with them, I would do that. Is there anyway you can get your grandparents into a retirement home? If needed, see if you can contact some family member of some sort even if they are distant and you are not close with them. You will be calling on an important matter so it will not be awkward in the slightest. You could also try some sort of social services as someone mentioned above. Good luck.

p.s. harming yourself will never solve the problem, it will only complicate it. What would your grandfather have done without you if you were too seriously injure yourself? Just think about him.

blondie0420 · 07-13-2008, 06:01 PM

^^ What he said.

Did you ever hear the phrase, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"? All problems are temporary. You're probably in your late teens or early twentys. You've got so much life to live, it would be silly to end it all now when your grandparents are old and won't be around for your whole life to cause you stress.

What's the worst case scenario? Nothing changes for a while, your grandparents are miserable and that makes you miserable, and then eventually they die and you go on living your life without the stress, heartache and misery they cause. Surely that's better than death.

I know how you feel. I've been at points in my life where I really felt like my problems were never going to be resolved. And when you're thinking about things that way, of course it seems like suicide is your only option. But you have to remember that your problems will be resolved, they will not last forever. That's the only way to come out of that low point in your life, by focusing on the good that can and will come after all of the bad.

I think what you need to do is focus on yourself for the time being. It's honorable (not to mention brave) that you want to look out for your grandfather and his best interests. But if you're at a point where you're feeling this bad, you're not going to be able to help him until you make yourself better. You're not going to be able to save your grandfather if you stay in a situation that is killing you, as this one seems to be.

Once you get out of the situation, you'll be in a much better position to help him out. At that point, maybe you can suggest some counseling for the both of them or perhaps find a way to get your grandfather somewhere safe to live.

Merry-juana · 07-13-2008, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie0420

^^ What he said.

Did you ever hear the phrase, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"? All problems are temporary. You're probably in your late teens or early twentys. You've got so much life to live, it would be silly to end it all now when your grandparents are old and won't be around for your whole life to cause you stress.

What's the worst case scenario? Nothing changes for a while, your grandparents are miserable and that makes you miserable, and then eventually they die and you go on living your life without the stress, heartache and misery they cause. Surely that's better than death.

I know how you feel. I've been at points in my life where I really felt like my problems were never going to be resolved. And when you're thinking about things that way, of course it seems like suicide is your only option. But you have to remember that your problems will be resolved, they will not last forever. That's the only way to come out of that low point in your life, by focusing on the good that can and will come after all of the bad.

I think what you need to do is focus on yourself for the time being. It's honorable (not to mention brave) that you want to look out for your grandfather and his best interests. But if you're at a point where you're feeling this bad, you're not going to be able to help him until you make yourself better. You're not going to be able to save your grandfather if you stay in a situation that is killing you, as this one seems to be.

Once you get out of the situation, you'll be in a much better position to help him out. At that point, maybe you can suggest some counseling for the both of them or perhaps find a way to get your grandfather somewhere safe to live.

Ok, I am 14 BTW (Turning 15 in 2 1/2 weeks). It is not me who is considering suicide, it is my grandfather. My grandmother will NEVER go to an old age home, she is the biggest workaholic stressed control freak on the planet and will be thrown out there in two seconds for disturbing the rest of the place. I was thinking of moving to my friends house, but it would be impossible, my grandparents won't ever let me and they are my legal guardians, I am basically stuck with them till a later stage. Right now I need some help to get my grandfather happy and to get my grandmother relaxed, and I will do anything in my power to do so. Right now I fear that my grandmother will kill me and/or my grandfather, since I do not know what to expect from her, it is impossible to please her and no matter what you do, she will find a problem with it. I am scared she will flip out one day and kill or severely injure one of us. Even though she can be adorable at times, the second you do something wrong, it can get ugly, so I am scared that she might flip out. Also, she is somewhat of a two face, and in front of everyone, she looks like the happiest person on the planet, but the moment she steps foot in the house, it is scary. I am very capable of taking the hits from her if I do not try to defend my grandfather, but I can not stand and watch her accuse him of horrible things I know he didn't do. It would be much easier if my grandfather will fight back, but he is to scared himself. He needs some sort if a defence or he will just not be able to live. Taking it on the most selfish perspective possible, that will also make my life miserable, since without him I might aswell drop out of school, since I can not survive in a normal school system, and he gives me homeschooling, and his pension is the main source of income, and will halve once he dies. Taking it on my actual perspective, I love him as a father, since my father died when I was 6-7, and I love him as a companion, friend, and I take it my responsibility to look after his well being, since he has nobody else to look after him in a loving way, and if he dies, my soul will die with him, I will not be able to function.

07-13-2008, 08:41 PM

Social services...

Can your Grandpa live with your friend for a bit. If you tell your buddy the truth, then Im sure he'll let him stay for a while...

MunchBox · 07-14-2008, 02:54 AM

Yeah dude-bro, this sounds like it's really out of your league and you need to find someone to assist you. I don't know how old your grandparents are, but this situation with your grandfather might be something that adult protective services would be able to assist with. Here is their national website: National Adult Protective Services Association I know that they would be able to help if your grandfather is disabled or vulnerable in any way. Is this why he puts up with her bullshit? Divorce is a popular thing nowadays, a lot easier than suicide. Good luck.

imFADED · 07-14-2008, 05:52 PM

Contact someone that will take complete control. You are too young to be trying to resolve this on your own. Whether it is an agency or a relative, you need to dump this on someone else. Someone who knows what to do because I know for a fact you are not stuck in this situation. Do not take your grandfather's problems onto your shoulders as that will just hurt you even further.

Merry-juana · 07-14-2008, 06:36 PM

I have a way of becoming a "peacemaker", often in sacrifice to myself. I can not think of anybody to dump this on, the nearest relatives are 3 hours drive from here, and they have enough problems right now, (death of a spouse, pretty much more than what we have here.) the only solution is to get my grandfather to my friend, but I do not think he will get along so well with them. My grandfather is a NG-Christian (almost as uptight, if not more uptight, as the classic, Hollywood Catholics.), and they are spiritualists, it will only make things worse. I am going to my friend this coming weekend, and that will be therapy for me, and will give me new spirit to keep on fighting. I am thinking of telling my grandfather to go to one of his friends for the weekend after his operation (he is getting an operation to widen an vain, so that his heart doesn't have to work as hard.) and hopefully that will help. I will never let this get to the point where I have to take my grandfather to a government funded organization, EVER.

07-13-2008, 11:18 AM	#1
Merry-juana Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 913 Grams: 9,462.14 Thanks: 356 Thanked 205 Times in 140 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Crossroads of life, or death... HELP ME!!!! I have been living with my grandmother for my entire life, but she is psychotic. Today I was defending my broken grandfather, since she was screaming at him, he is having life threatening heart trouble because of her. We wanted to get out of the house but she took the keys and locked us out, when I was standing in her door asking for the keys, she freaked out screaming "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!" with the most murderous eyes I have seen in my life, while hitting me and pushing me with what I was sure the intent on killing me. I can not stand this anymore, and I want to go life with my friend, but I do not want to leave my grandfather since he is considering suicide, but I have been trying to kill myself for years now. I do not know what to do, I want to protect my grandfather, but I do not want any more scars in my soul, I do not know how long I can hold this out any longer. I do not want to end up broken like my grandfather, (been there, done that, got the scars on my wrist, don't want to go back.) but I can't imagine leaving him to the mercy of my grandmother. HELP!!!!

07-13-2008, 02:15 PM	#4
imFADED Sr. Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,329 Grams: 9,817.70 Thanks: 81 Thanked 265 Times in 200 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	If you have already talked to your friend and he has confirmed that you can live with them, I would do that. Is there anyway you can get your grandparents into a retirement home? If needed, see if you can contact some family member of some sort even if they are distant and you are not close with them. You will be calling on an important matter so it will not be awkward in the slightest. You could also try some sort of social services as someone mentioned above. Good luck. p.s. harming yourself will never solve the problem, it will only complicate it. What would your grandfather have done without you if you were too seriously injure yourself? Just think about him. __________________ Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, *let the chips fall where they may*.

07-13-2008, 06:01 PM	#5
blondie0420 Locks of Gold Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 2,700 Grams: 31,961.97 Thanks: 918 Thanked 1,002 Times in 481 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: -1.000%	^^ What he said. Did you ever hear the phrase, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"? All problems are temporary. You're probably in your late teens or early twentys. You've got so much life to live, it would be silly to end it all now when your grandparents are old and won't be around for your whole life to cause you stress. What's the worst case scenario? Nothing changes for a while, your grandparents are miserable and that makes you miserable, and then eventually they die and you go on living your life without the stress, heartache and misery they cause. Surely that's better than death. I know how you feel. I've been at points in my life where I really felt like my problems were never going to be resolved. And when you're thinking about things that way, of course it seems like suicide is your only option. But you have to remember that your problems will be resolved, they will not last forever. That's the only way to come out of that low point in your life, by focusing on the good that can and will come after all of the bad. I think what you need to do is focus on yourself for the time being. It's honorable (not to mention brave) that you want to look out for your grandfather and his best interests. But if you're at a point where you're feeling this bad, you're not going to be able to help him until you make yourself better. You're not going to be able to save your grandfather if you stay in a situation that is killing you, as this one seems to be. Once you get out of the situation, you'll be in a much better position to help him out. At that point, maybe you can suggest some counseling for the both of them or perhaps find a way to get your grandfather somewhere safe to live. __________________ “You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.” - Gandhi

07-14-2008, 06:36 PM	#10
Merry-juana Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 913 Grams: 9,462.14 Thanks: 356 Thanked 205 Times in 140 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I have a way of becoming a "peacemaker", often in sacrifice to myself. I can not think of anybody to dump this on, the nearest relatives are 3 hours drive from here, and they have enough problems right now, (death of a spouse, pretty much more than what we have here.) the only solution is to get my grandfather to my friend, but I do not think he will get along so well with them. My grandfather is a NG-Christian (almost as uptight, if not more uptight, as the classic, Hollywood Catholics.), and they are spiritualists, it will only make things worse. I am going to my friend this coming weekend, and that will be therapy for me, and will give me new spirit to keep on fighting. I am thinking of telling my grandfather to go to one of his friends for the weekend after his operation (he is getting an operation to widen an vain, so that his heart doesn't have to work as hard.) and hopefully that will help. I will never let this get to the point where I have to take my grandfather to a government funded organization, EVER. Last edited by Merry-juana : 07-14-2008 at 07:26 PM.

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