Marijuana.com

HopelesslyStoned

Hello all, I have lurked around these forums for quite awhile but never really felt the need to post.

Alright, well there is this girl(isn't there always) she is awesome. She smokes, tokes, drinks, listens to all the same music I do, is funny as hell, drop dead gorgeous, and not to mention is overall just a cool person. She is my best friends friend. We hung out quite a bit over the summer, had a couple deep late night talks smoked hella bud and cigs with each other and got thoroughly shitfaced quite a few times. I think(not sure) I'm starting to really like her. Only problem(and it's a big'N) is she is 18 graduated from HS, has a job, and is about to start college in town, while I am 16 and a sophomore in high school. And I can almost guarantee she has never even thought about the thought of me and her getting together. She is one of those real "guys girl" like she has and hangs out with a lot of other dudes and is only friends with them. I know there are more girls like her but it seems like every other one I have met doesn't hold a candle to her. We both love the same music Bone thugs, 2pac, Lil Wayne, Red Hot Chili Peppers, old school rock, too many others to list. She is just so like perfect and what I want in a girl but like I said I can almost guarantee she doesn't feel the same about me. I just don't know what to do, I mean I still want to be her friend and can just chill with her but I just want more. I'm not sure what to do so I'm asking for any advice you'd be willing to give out.

 

Killerchron

My advice is to let her know how you are feeling. You will never find out if you keep saying you have no chance.....

Obviously there is some sort of connection, so why not give it a try? If she tells you that she would like to be friends, then just move on to the next one.

Has she expressed any interest in you?

__________________
I got a Black and Gold soul with a Fresh New Orleans fitted.

cj117

That sounds like bad idea to me...
most girls get turned off when you start pouring your heart out to them. Don't start off with or lead into anything like "Hey, I really like you, I'm interested in you" or whatever. That's bad news. Gifts, dinners, calling all the time, that kind of stuff doesn't portray you as a confident guy. Women are complicated, and don't make any sense until you really start to understand their motivations.

Something you could try is joking about how much she wants you or wants to go out with you. Say it with a tone of half sarcasm, half serious. Throw in jokes about how she checks you out all the time when you're not looking, or how she stares at your ass when you walk or bend over (even though you know she doesn't {or hell, maybe she does!}) girls like this stuff. It's funny, sets a tone about your confidence, and will drop you clues based on how she reacts as to whether she likes you or not.

-----------------------

There's this guy I learned a lot from about women. He's kind of a "dating guru" that most would dismiss as a fake or cheesy. But his insights are very profound and start making a lot of sense the more you pay attention to what he points out. His name is David DeAngelo. I can send you his eBook if you want. (you don't have to pay) Or you could YouTube a lot of his stuff.

I don't like "advertising" websites, but in this case I think it will help you.
Now, I don't buy into a lot of his "methods". Much of what he says should definitely be taken with a grain of salt. That being said, I definitely recommend a read, as what ISN'T bullshit, is true (and works, I've landed a few ladies with my own version of his stuff.)

__________________
"In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
Legalize it!

HopelesslyStoned

I kinda thought a few more people would have an opinion about this but no matter. When I said college I didn't mention how the college is in town. As far as her expressing interest in me. I mean yeah I would call us friends and she seems to like me at least on that level but I doubt she has ever thought about becoming more. My friend that I asked said go for friends with benefits. The thing that gets me is she has so many other cool friends that are dudes her age that she has to pick from why would she go for a high schooler. I think if nothing comes of it now when I am 18 and out of HS she will be 20 that difference wouldn't be as big and more likely to start a relationship.

Freedom_User

I think Killer pretty much nailed it. Don't live in regret. I have a major regret about a girl that I was absolutely crazy about and never got the nerve to ask her in High School.

As Young MC says...

BUST A MOVE!

__________________

 

evank67

I didn't think I had a CHANCE with my girlfriend, she was a bit older than me, beautiful, and just overall what I thought was at the time above my standards. We stayed good friends for about 6 months, and then one night we both got a little tipsy and it just happened...still together 8 months later and I'm still pinching myself...so never give up hope man, you never know what could happen...always go for it, no regrets. Better to hear the word no than not take a chance.

HOWEVER just remember I was extremely good friends with her for a good while before then, we were pretty close...and I never came on to her too strongly, you can't do that...especially if she's that much older than you. It's gotta be gradual...but also don't dilly dally. And don't get too into the "best-friend" thing...that can also be a kiss of death.

Th3Preacher

I would say let it ride out dude. I think if I read your post right she is going to a college close by which means she is gonna stay in your town. I mean (hopefully) she isn't going anywhere soon, so I would say at least maintain a good friendship. I mean like you said yourself in two years you will be 18 and she will be 20 which would be more likely to happen.

If you are hanging out at your friends house and you all are in the circle or chillin in a room try and sit somewhere somewhat close to her, not in a creepy way this does require a little skill and thought but close enough so you guys can always talk and laugh both things guaranteed to happen when under the influence of anything. Or when everyone is hanging inside playing video games or watchin t.v. look over at her and do like a smoke break signal (hand over mouth move away) and go smoke a bowl or cig with just you and her. Try and act a little more mature but still be yourself. And if nothing happens or she deny's you there is going to be another women out there you will find this much attraction for. I mean you are only in High School(no offense I am too) I barley know any girls who are freshman, sophomore, or juniors that are big potheads seems like something that comes over time.

Oh and one more thing if she is completely shitfaced drunk and is coming onto you. You are going to have to make a really tough decision. Hopefully you are intoxicated too and not just forcing drinks down her throat(along with other things ) You can either A) Hit that shit Not know what is gonna happen the next morning or rest of freindship or B) Say I don't feel right about doing this you're not thinking clearly and if she remembers that or you or someone else tells her you took the high road said no to the urge she will see you are not just a sex starved teen showing how mature you are. I'd say if you go with B atleast a little makeout action should happen then when you feel you need to stop(or just about to start ) say you want to but you feel like you are taking advantage of her.

__________________

Th3Preacher

I am gonna bump this just because I don't think this dude has tapped the potential that is the mj community and he truly doesn't know what to do. If it dies again then I'm sorry Hopeless, I hope everything works out in the end whatever the end entails.

Mushroom Man

Dude ive been in exactly the same situation. As I was reading I was like "damn that sounds so familiar" hah. But dude dont just pour your thoughts out in front of her all at once, not cause she wasnt wanting to hear it its more you dont want to scare her into thinking things went way too quick too fast. Also if your going to keep it up with her (which i was doing) its gonna be awesome till she leaves, which could be closer than you think, and when its gone your gonna regret it..a lot.

blondie0420

I agree with that. Pouring your heart out, coming on too strong, and/or telling a girl how amazing/perfect/awesome/flawless she is will definitely be a major turn off. It's not wrong to compliment a girl, but no one is perfect - even this "dream girl." If you put her up on a pedestal and essentially tell her that you've placed her up there, you'll ruin your confidence and make yourself look desperate. I think just about every girl has had the displeasure of having a guy she might have otherwise been interested in ruin it by coming on way too strong way too fast. (For me, some guy that I totally would've liked to date and get to know a little better ended up telling me that he "loved" me... It was creepy, it was way too soon, and it totally made things weird for me because I definitely didn't "love" him at the time he said that.)

I disagree with this. Playfulness and flirtiness can definitely be turn ons, but this isn't going to work for every girl and in every situation. And trying too hard at making these "half sarcastic, half serious" jokes or just failing altogether at being funny about it could result in dismal failure.

Better advice would be to say: just be yourself. Obviously you don't want to go hang out with someone you're interested in and burp and fart rudely in front of them or something. And you don't want to tell them you're entire life story from birth up till present day including the details of how you wet the bed until you were ten and got picked last once for kickball during recess. But it's definitely a good thing to be open and honest (within reason) with this girl and just let her see you for who you are and hope that she likes you too.

I don't think you should take on the defeatist attitude that there isn't any way at all that this girl could possibly like you or want to date you. I've dated a guy that was younger than me. And just because she's in college and you're in high school, doesn't mean she won't even entertain the possibility of dating you either. I mean, college guys sometimes date high school girls - so why can't college girls date high school guys?

If you and this girl get along well, have things in common, are both single and enjoy spending time together, why would it be that unlikely that she would want to date you?

The best thing to do would be to just ask her out in a non-threatening, low-pressure kind of way. "Hey, you want to go get some dinner Friday night?" Easy, right? If she says no, at least you tried.

__________________