Hashishi

I'm a very hygienic person, so there's no earthly reason why my butt hole should be giving me this sort of grief. By 'itch' I mean one of those itches where--no matter what you're doing or where you are--you instantly have to put everything hold to deal with it. And it's persistent, too. It's not one of those itches you can leave to go away of its own accord, it gets steadily worse if you don't have that glorious encounter. I'm starting to think about various techniques I could use to deal with it. The most prominent in my mind is a wedge of sandpaper lodged between my butt cheeks. Hear me out, though: not only would I not have to move to get rid of it, I could deal with it discretely at any time and in any place just by clenching my cheeks together. That and, because they're divided, any potential itching caused by cheek on cheek action would be eliminated. Pretty ingenious, if I do say so myself.

It's the worst when I'm trying to sleep. Every minute or so I have to pull my boxers into a wedgie to deal with it. And before anybody asks, yes I'm heterosexual and no, it's not an STD. I really can't explain it.

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