RandomOne

Anyone else feel like they have this?

Depersonalization disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I actually feel like this a lot, where I am an observer of myself and everyone else even while I am holding a (semi-) normal conversation. I don't know if they can tell that I am looking on from the outside or not and sometimes I wonder about it. I also worry that I'm going crazy even though I know I'm not, and that emotional disconnect thing, people consider me to be a nice guy most of the time, but that's because I probably over compensate, I don't really care about much and I just try to act like i care to fit in and keep doing my thing. It's like we are all just playing this game to get through the day in college and at work, but sometimes I wonder if other people realize they are playing it? Or do they naturally just fit in and don't need to try to put on this act.

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Symptoms

The core symptom of depersonalization disorder is the subjective experience of unreality. Common descriptions are: watching oneself from a distance; out-of-body experiences; a sense of just going through the motions; feeling as though one is in a dream or movie; not feeling in control of one's speech or physical movements; and feeling detached from one's own thoughts or emotions.[3] Individuals with the disorder commonly describe a feeling as though time is 'passing' them by and they are not in the notion of the present. These experiences may cause a person to feel uneasy or anxious since they strike at the core of a person's identity and consciousness.
Sufferers retain the ability to distinguish between their own internal experiences and the objective reality of the outside world. Brief periods of depersonalization are notably caused by severe anxiety, stress, a lack of sleep, or a combination.
Some of the more common factors that exacerbate dissociative symptoms are negative effects, stress, subjective threatening social interaction, and unfamiliar environments. Factors that tend to diminish symptoms are comforting interpersonal interactions, intense physical or emotional stimulation, and relaxation.[4] Fluorescent lighting is reported to increase the effects of depersonalization.[citation needed]
Fears of going crazy, brain damage, and losing control are common complaints. Individuals report occupational impairments as they feel they are working below their ability, and interpersonal troubles since they have an emotional disconnection from those they care about. Neuropsychological testing has shown deficits in attention, short-term memory and spatial-temporal reasoning.[5]
An analogy is comparing real life to a game, a game everyone plays, all the time. Someone suffering from depersonalization disorder constantly feels as if they cannot get into the game; any stimulus feels contrived or artificial to them. The rules of this game seem to have been forcibly applied upon them (anything from movement, to gravity or hunger) instead of being inherently applicable to them. If understanding dawns upon them of what they should be experiencing, it is often through reason and observation, or the feeling of knowing what and why it is happening. This sort of insight seems to rob everything of its spontaneity, its importance already having been diminished because of their sense of detachment. They are perpetual, and almost all the time cynics of our reality, although unconsciously and involuntarily.
Common words to describe the condition are as follows. Feeling as though I am: a shell, dead, unreal, a zombie, a robot, an automaton. Other descriptives are: Inability to recognize oneself in the mirror and a distorted perception of the body. Most of these symptoms can lead on to making the individual feel as though they are 'invisible'. These symptoms can also be considered derealization and jamais vu. Many people who suffer from Depersonalization disorder also describe a sense of being an observer and participant. For instance, while the individual with the disorder undertakes a specific action or task, a part of him/her questions what he/she is doing. This persistent "nagging" a individual endures with the disorder again produces more anxiety and makes the person feel more mentally detached. Of course, these symptoms can vary with intensity and can have different effects on different people."

locket

if you're concerned, maybe arrange an appointment with a therapist.
I know a few people with this disorder and they all take medication for it, but that's only because they were depressed and found it hard to live detached from themselves.
it's important to address your feelings, and if you believe you may have this disorder, make an appointment with a psychiatrist or therapist.
It's hard to diagnose yourself over the internet, especially with things concerning your mental health.

Take care.

StonedImmaculate21

I've suffered from this for about a year now. The best advice I can give is to get help if it gets bad. I tried to ignore it and ended up developing a full-blown anxiety disorder, which keeps me from smoking weed entirely. I hope everything works out for you.

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TheQuestionMark

happened to me so hard the first time that i smoked weed. it was my first time ever being high, and we were driving around town in a truck. i was so stressed that it brought it on. i always figured it was just because i smoked so much and cuz i was soo high

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