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BudzAreYummy

hey all, last weekend my brother had a party at my house. we live with our dad and he didnt care. i wasnt home for the party, i was partying on my own i got so f*cked up but thats a whole other story. anyway, i came home around 1:00 and my dad still wasnt home. my brother and his friends were drinking, smoking pot, having fun basically. i smoked a couple bowls and drank a couple shots with them then i decided to go off to bed because i had to get up early the next day. well i went to sleep right away and i woke back up around 4:00 in the morning, it was quiet downstairs so i figured everyone left, well i went downstairs and i walked in the living room and my brother and most of his friends were sleeping before i got into the kitchen, i heard my dad talking to some of my brothers friends in the kitchen about weed and this completely freaked me out. i didnt know my dad was into it but i think my brothers friends influenced him. well i decided to just sit in the living room quietly and listen to them more, i didnt want them to know i was in there. then i heard my brothers friend say "lets light one up!" so they smoked a joint and this freaked me out even more cause i didnt think my dad would ever smoke pot freely in the house because he probably wouldnt want my brother or i to know so i ran back upstairs and was very upset. i smoke pot but i dont want my dad doing that kind of stuff. i have a 8 yr old sister and i dont want him doing that stuff because of her. luckily she was staying at her friends house that night so she wasnt home. i dont think my brother knows that my dad smoked pot with his friends because he would of definatly told me. so i think its just my dad and his friends secret. what should i do? should i tell my brother about what i heard? should i confront my dad? i dont want my brothers friends to get mad at me cause their really cool people but their just a bad influence on my dad and i really cant have my dad become a pot head. i need him to be stable because hes the only family i got around here now. its just me, him, my brother and sister. well what should i do? thanks

 

Panama

Can you say hypocrisy?

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BudzAreYummy

i am not a hypocrite. i dont care if anyone smokes weed, just my dad. u dont understand, we've been through alot of sh*t and i dont want him doing it. hes a depressed guy and he probably thinks its going to solve his problems and weed doesnt solve any problems. i smoke weed, but i do it just with friends and im not going to do it when im older probably. and hes 52 yrs old. now i know theres people older than him that smoke weed and thats fine. its just my dad and i have a little sister and i dont want her around it. im not a perfect person, believe me. neither is my brother. i have a million stories i could tell but i wont, and i want my sister to be a better person than us. she deserves it. she needs a good role model and that only role model is my dad.

BudzAreYummy

i forgot to add, if i didnt have a little sister, i wouldnt care if he smoked weed. i think it might be kinda cool but im just thinking of my sister

BoneyDragon

Sounds like a tough situation. Anyway, even if your dad does have some problems, Panama still has a point to some degree. Your dad is an adult and can make his own decisions. However, you are right to be concerned about your sister. If your dad starts exposing her to things he shouldn't, it's up to you to tell him how concerned you are and tell him to be more responsible. Deep down he probably knows that.

On another note, you say only your dad can be a good role model. What about you?

~BD

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theinfamousgoat

i understand both points of view

on one hand, we have a caring brother who is looking out for his sister, knowing that a child that young needs a good role model

however, on the other, we see a marijuana user hypocritically worrying about his fathers usage of the same excact substance

in this situation, my advice is to confront your father, tell him about your usage of pot, but also remind him of your sisters need for a straight mentor, any loving parent would hopefully at least restrict his/her usage to when a young child is not present

I understand where youre comin from dude! my parents have been divorced for 8 years now and he is a loving father. he is also, unfortunately, an alcholholic and often turns to the bottle to cope with his depession. i love my dad very much, but i also love my young, 10 year old brother. if i feel that my dad is becoming to drunk around my little bro, i ALWAYS confront him. even when they are under the influence, parents still have love for their offspring and will respect their innocence.

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tagger721

ive had to deal with the same situation, only my father used to be an alcoholic and replaced his addiction to alcohol with staying high all the time. I found out when i was like 15 but never said anything. Then i started getting into it and the more i thought about it the less worried i became.......hes an adult and he can make his own decisions, you live and learn, and if your dad is like mine he wouldnt care even if i had a problem with it which i dont anymore. It is a wonderful thing when you can smoke a joint with your parents and bond as stoners. There are a lot worse things he could be doing.........just remember that

schwadood

I know if I had a child I wouldn't be smoking around him/her. I think your dad could easily make the same decision. How do you know that your dad hasn't been smoking for years? Maybe he hid it from you, too. You don't know. I say, give him the chance. Maybe it was a one time thing. And even if he does start smoking, will that necesarilly harm your sister? Just give him the chance and if he starts to **** up, then talk to him.

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Bailey1138

Maybe this is just me, but if your dad was smoking pot, I highly doubt that was his first time. You didn't give any details, but chances are he probably indulges from time to time. Don't worry about it, just like it's none of your dad's business what you do, it's none of your business what he does. Your dad is probably a responsible adult and has no better chance of smoking in front of your sister than you do.

BTW, what exactly is wrong with smoking pot anyway? Why is it that just because he smokes pot he's not a good role model? That does not make any sense to me.

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potheadreturns2

budz, maybe you should clarify some things for us, as there seems to be a lack of clarity.

What exactly are you worried about? Are you worried he will become a big pot head and do it all the time even around your sis, and not control himself around your sis? That is a very reasonable fear. Children deserve sober parents.

If you are worried about him occasionally lighting up when you and your sister and your brother aren't around, then you are just, as panama said, being a hypocrite. Because you are doing the exact same thing, lighting up when you aren't around your sister.

Your dad is probably a reasonable person, and loves you and your siblings very much. I don't think he would do anything to hurt your sister or influence her in the wrong way. Please don't be worried if all he is doing is lighting up once in a while. He will not change, his personallity will not change, his parenting style will not change. The only thing that will change is your view on him. He is an individual. That means he has the right to do WHAT EVER HE WANTS TO DO as long as it doesn't hurt or effect any one else. How would you like it if all of the sudden he started getting in your business about lighting up the occasional blunt?

Also, if all he is doing is smoking once in a while, then I'd say that is actually a good lesson for your sister. Responsible psychoactive substance use is something she'll carry with her for the rest of her life. Whether your dad smokes or not, eventually in her life she will be put in the position of someone asking her to try weed, and like most people, she probably will at least TRY it. If your dad tells her weed is awful and never sets a good example for using it, then her only example will be the pot heads she is hanging around. So instead of knowing about responsible, moderate use, she will only know about raging abuse. Moderation is a good lesson for anyone.

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