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Old 05-11-2002, 03:57 AM   #1
AnarchistBarbie
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Unhappy I am trapped in a cube farm

I'm surrounded by 'linen look' fabric walls held together by cheap fittings in a cavernous building with narrow windows - none of which is near me. The HVAC equipment on the roof sounds like aircraft taking off and landing directly over head - and this part of the building is always either too cold [between 5pm-6am] or too hot [6am-5pm]. Within minutes of being here my jaw is clenched, and my head aches from the shimmer of the 10 monitors I stare at [with appropriately furrowed brow] for 10 hours [at least] 4 days a week.

I am an excellent data analyst, and I think my job sucks. I also think that sucking is one thing that most jobs do. I even show up each day with a renewed sense of purpose, and the feeling that maybe, sometimes, some of this matters. [Of course, by the end of the first half of my shift I know better, and I start measuring time by the number of irritants between me and the end of my shift]

Oh, I'm not really complaining... I just thought I'd share.
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Old 05-11-2002, 06:34 AM   #2
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Talking It's healthy to have an outlet...............

And sharing is what discussion boards are for.So,with that in mind,and the dreamy picture you just painted of your carrear choice,i have to admit that I'm sorry I didn't become a data analyst like my Grandma wanted me toinstead i chose the boring life of a .........................................well i decided to become a .............well the truth is ,I'm still working on what I want to be....i'm not going to jump in face first, without testing the water.Did that.......got a face full of creek mud. I remember my dad asking me at 22,after the military,and a short marriage,what I was going to do with my life.My answer was then,and 25 years later ,is still,ENJOY ITb.suede
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Old 05-11-2002, 04:48 PM   #3
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LOL that's awesome Suede

Just last night my uncle was over, and very stoned too (smokes for the pain he has after surgery). I was talking to him and it went sort of like this:

Him: 'Now what are you going to work for?'

Me: 'I am guessing money...'

Him: 'And what do you do with that money?'

Me: 'Spend it...'

Him: 'On what? Food and Shelter. So when you are 50 years old you will be sitting back and think 'What the **** did I do'. You worked a ****ty job for food and shelter. Unless you actually enjoy waking up at 6.00am to traffic and all that.'

Me: 'Yeah I have been thinking about that lately.'

Him: 'So you know what you do? Work your ass off and buy a plot of land. Then you can grow your own food and have shelter... (It went on for a bit, a little incoherent)'

And I don't know why, but he really had a point. And the cool thing is, he is actually been doing this. 15 or so years ago he bought a piece of property on this island full of hicks, and he is going to have this 150 year old hotel (not a big one, but for a house it is) ready in a few months. He grows all his food, has about 30 turkeys, and has a nice crop of bud.

Maybe he is on to something
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Old 05-11-2002, 05:47 PM   #4
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So.... I'm back at 'the farm' [the cube farm, that is] and catching up on comments, etc.

I could have chosen to pursue my passion [art] as a career - but I didn't, and that was deliberate. I don't want to pick up a brush [a palette knife, a pen, whatever] and have to think 'what is going to sell?' So, I have a 'day job' that pays the bills, keeps food on the table and a roof over my head - and I wake up on Tuesday morning [my weekends are Tu-Th] and I can paint what I want to paint.

I think looking back on a passionless life would suck - but I've really reached out for events, experiences, emotions, and interaction with others with both hands and 100% involvement. I don't mind having a crappy job that bores me and gives me a headache, and too much exposure to the worst of mediocrity. At least, I don't mind right now... 'course, I just got in for the day.
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Old 05-12-2002, 05:45 AM   #5
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Post Consumed by passion, destined to starve

If I've learned anything by the mistakes I've made,it's not to whine about the mistakes I haven't made.I could have been a painter of images,but I was afriad I'd fail,and not be able to feed my children,so I painted houses.I became miserable. I drank myself into depression, hated my wife and children, lost self respect,and the chance to be, what I was afraid I would not be.This is a ficticious scenario.It'a not me.We all have fears of failure.It shouldn't keep us from following our passions.I think about where I might be ,from time to time ,had I never followed my passion for marijuana.Who knows?I could'a been a roket scientist.b.s.
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Old 05-12-2002, 09:51 PM   #6
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Right now I am in the period of life where I 'should be thinking about what I want to do'. University is nearing, and all I have thought about is how nice it will be going to BC

I have my passions, but if I chose to follow them, I have no idea how my life would turn out. I like playing guitar, music theory, philosophy, plants, and bud. I would love to spend my life studying all of them, but there is that whole $ problem...

Oh well, it would be a fun life
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Old 05-12-2002, 11:26 PM   #7
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I didn't actually ever 'decide' what I wanted to be. I joined the Army out of high school, mostly to annoy my family [the expectation was that I would go to college] - and I really liked it. I settled in for a career... then was politely invited to leave when they RIFed so many soldiers in the early 90s. Starting all over sucked... I settled into construction. It was a nice living, too. Fresh air everyday, and as much money as I felt up to counting...[ok, not THAT much, but it was decent]. I broke an ankle [and on my own time, too], effectively ending my construction career... and started over again.

I've always been an artist. That has never failed me, whatever I did for a living.

Today at the cube farm: visitors from a new client. Managers working hard to impress... entry level employees striving to maintain their anonymity... and me, facing allllll these monitors... and allllll this paperwork. No headache today, though. That's a nice change.
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Old 05-14-2002, 05:11 AM   #8
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Lightbulb Bongzilla my young friend.....

If I was contemplating subjects to study,that i considered worthy of a lifetime dedication,you can bet your sweet "freshman fund" it's going to be following my passions,so I'm not sitting around when I'm 50 a shriveled up,filthy,bitter at the world,old fart, wondering what might have been
Actually i'm just saying all this to justify my own past.
I had it all........in the palm of my hand.......both hands running over........A future set before me that could rival the luck of finding a "Genie in a bottle".There were circumstances ,and standards that turned me against this future,and i was shown another way.I was 15.I walked away from the promise of anything and everything I could possibly want ,straight into the arms of poverty,and never looked back.That was the first time I followed my passion for "something more".I have few regrets,i've never known true hunger,and all my children are semi-literate.I've had more,and i've had less,and now "all" that I have, is free to anyone who asks.At 47 i'm still following my passions,and I shall continue until .............b.s.

hey Barbie,have you tried to do the marshmellow's yet ?
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Old 05-14-2002, 09:43 PM   #9
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Default burn out

when I worked in the I.S. field, (I did web and digital arts etc. for 7 years on my own as a freelancer)..I became very unhappy with it and really burned out (can you say weeks staring at a blank screen?) . So I looked for other paths. It is said that if you wish for success, just do what you love. I realized I love art. so I took a leap and became a full time working artist for a living.

sure, I make much less, but everyday I get up.. and enjoy my morning, I have much more time to see the beauty around me, and in the things that I am planning and currently creating. I spend seriously quality time with my daughter when I see her, and with my wife and dogs.


gotta do what you love. the rest follows with it.

best
D.
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Old 05-19-2002, 12:58 AM   #10
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'Do what you love' ... no doubt, and I do... for all but 40 hours a week out of my life.

I'm not even unhappy. I just don't care for the drone of the HVAC system, the cold dry 'conditioned' air, and the unblinking eyes of those ten monitors staring sightlessly back at me all f*ing day long. It could certainly be worse... I could be unemployed, out of paint, canvas, or imagination... ick. Don't even like thinking about that.

[Yes, I did try the marshmallows. Yummy! Thx for the idea]
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