Marijuana.com

OZONE

Haha. Yeah, as you can guess from the post's subject, I got rumbled. Thankfully, I'm only 17, so police didn't get directly involved, but parent's sure are pissed. Okay, so here's my story!
Last night, after work, a buddy of mine came round, and we took a little while to pack some booze and bongs from my room, and talked about the fun we should be having that night at other friend's house. Anyway, we set off, stopping to buy munchies on the way. Get to my other friend's house, says hello to everyone else, then take a few hits from a pipe, eats cookies and chill, playing four-player GoldenEye at some point on the N64.
Things are going good until my friend's mobile phone rings, with my home phone number flashing up on the screen. I answer, to hear my dad shouting for me to "Get the hell home immediately to tidy this room." So, buzzkill, but regardless, I make my way home. Get in, and parents are sat in living room, and ignore my presence.
So I go up into my bedroom, to see absolutly everything tipped out into the centre of the floor. Clothes, CDs, bags, and yeah... my stash! I just started laughing, and then began to tidy up. My dad then comes up. He simply says "Are you on drugs?" I tell him that I occassionally smoke marijuana, and attempt to explain that it's safer than alcohol and tobacco (of which both my parents indulge in). Dad seemed a little interested, until my crazy mum bursts in!
Screaming her head off and in tears, she threatens all sorts of action, which including selling my car, destroying my tickets to see the Foo Fighters, and ultimately turning me in! Well, (unfortuantely prehaps) the cookies had hit home, and I started to laugh at her! Big mistake, coz then my went nuts too, coz I was showing my mum no respect! After several other visits from them, they leave me to finish tyding up. I go to bed.
Dad woke me this morning and told me to get changed, that I was going down to the police station with him! At this point, I start to get scared, as my dad informs me that he's figured where I get the weed from, and who I smoke it with. He actually rang round my friend's house to inform his parents. The sly ******. I told him that I would accept my punishment, but that there was no need to bring others down with me. Regardless, my mates are pretty screwed too, and in a similar situation to me. All this before going to the police station!!
Fearful of being tested for it, I proceeded to drink about four litres of water! I read on this postboard somewhere of someone drinking loads before their scheduled drug tests, and passing despite smoking, so I thought it was worth a try.
Down in the police station, I discover that I actually have about a ten-spot of resin in my back pocket! Major panic, and I think about flushing it, or trying to ditch it, but then I get called through with my dad. I do as instructed. It turned out to be an informal chat with some drug officer, who presented me with the negative aspects of using marijuana, but mostly on the legal punishments of being caught with it. To be honest, the officer was pretty sound, and was impressed with my knowledge of marijuana from a legal point of view.
I basically explained to him and my dad that when I smoke marijuana, I am aware of the legal "risk" (as low as it is, when I smoke at home/friend's house) and that I would appreciate support from my parents when smoking, rather than them going against me, and me prehaps taking bigger risks to smoke.
Mum still hasn't spoken to me, and dad says that because my schoolwork hasn't appreared to have dropped (despite drug use) that he'll still allow me to go to the Foo Fighters gig!
So, here I am. I dunno how to play things now. Certainly I'm gonna stop smoking for a little while, just until things settle, and see what else my mum and dad have to say. I can understand why they are disappointed, but I am also gonna stick to my guns, in the hope that a happy-medium can be struck between my parents and my smoking habits.
Okay, thanks for reading. Replies appreciated of course!

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OZONE

 

Bowlblaze

keep standin up for yourself and good things will happen.
thats pretty harsh of your dad to call your friend's parents, hope your friends parents are a little more understanding. anyway just keep doing what you've been doing and eventually (hopefully) they will understand. just pick a better spot to hide your stash, and make sure you keep your grades up in school, then no complaints!

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The government thinks we're all criminals. The people who are really the criminals are the people who view pot smokers as being no better than rapists, murderers, or corrupt politions
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dbighead

Keep up the good work in school.
But try to find a better place to hide your stash.

Did you leave your stash on the floor or are your parents snooping bastards?

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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Aristotle

OZONE

They are two snooping bastards, regualrily go rooting through my room, and this time I must have slipped up. God damn. No privacy in my household at all, but I have returned the snooping favour, and learnt some interesting stuff about both my parents, so it makes me feel a little better, heh heh.

dbighead

Haha there you go. Snoop on the snoopers.

My dad doesn't come home until 11 or 2 in the morning.
And when he is home he is sleeping. So I could have a plant and a 6 footer in the middle of my room and he would never notice.(Other than the smell.)

 

Greenman

I think your right in keeping the smoking away for now, until the heat cools down a little bit and they are in a more reasonable mood and open to discussion. Who knows the flood of things going on in their heads. Are they bad parents, are you on crack, how could they be so blind, are you addicted, what will people think, what were the warning signs they missed, its all their fault you have trailed off into sin... how could this happen to the person that was 6 and laughing just yesterday. Becoming a parent has opened my eyes to a whole other world that you just don't realize is there until you are there in it.

But you have several aces in the hole here. You are doing good in school, you are employed, etc etc. These redeming qualities help you parents believe they are not total imbeciles.

Give it a week or two at the least. And keep a low profile. Continue to do good in school and work. Perhaps be a little more helpful, but not obviously so. You are not trying to insult their intellegence. And then, in calm waters, you need to approach them with your side. And you need to be willing to listen to their concerns, and perhaps sacrifice things to prove your points.

Perhaps telling them from the start that they are good parents, may be good to hear. Be rational, and do not raise your voice. You know you did not show them respect before. Now you must ante up.

During the conversation point out your report cards, going all the way back to when you started smoking if you can. Make a point that your grades are good, AND you smoke pot. Point out the fact that you are working and for how long. Far from the lazy and stupid stoner image. Tell them, and be brutally honest what else you have done. Drink, smoke cigs, shrooms whatever, perhaps your feelings on each of them.

Make no mistake, the fact that they found it, however they found it, will lead them to believe that you wouldn't tell them about pot, why would you tell them about the other things. It can be a world of worse case senarios playing through their mind when all you have done is smoke a joint every now and then.

They will resist, they will probably get angry. How angry they get can be controlled by you through the tone of your voice. Keeping your voice low, and being respectfully disagreeable on certian things will go a long way. But they feel lied to, and they deserve and are right to be angry. Even if pot was legal and ok, they have still been decieved. The pot is the surface issue, the deception is where the anger is rooted.

Changing their opinion on pot will be a long process, giving them the science, alot of which you can get of the front page of this site, will help. But grades and employment, tangible sighs of you applying yourself in a constructive manner will go much farther. Be willing not to smoke, expecially in their house, until they are atleast less hostile about it. And if they don't want you smoking in the house, it is their house, respect it. The more you show them, the more they will show you.

Whew, now finally, moving this to the real life stories forum.



Peace.

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Some will never open their eyes. Some will have them opened for them. Some will see light, some won't be able to stand the brightness and will turn away. -Robin Prosser's Diary Day 23 -- Please read our Posting Guidelines for questions on our policies.

OZONE

Huh? Where did I originally post it? Sorry anyway, and thanks for the post Greenman. I do now understand that I have to make it up to them, and I guess school and work is the main way to do it. However I still hope for them to understand, and possibly accept, marijuana. It's gonna be difficult to find a balance, if one even exists! *crosses fingers*

Heathen

Oh, it exists...it's floating around on the horizon of free-speech...you just need to grab it by the balls, plaster the facts all over it and show it to them...hehehe. Your dad seems a bit more reasonable. I'd talk to him as much as possible. He seems more focused on the legalities of it. Your mum obviously doesn't know much about it, so if you can win over your dad then he'll talk to your mum.

But yeah, I think a bit of respect will go a LONG way.

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If I were to throw a quarter for every time I wished to share my 2 cents, Emery would be jealous and Eddie Vedder would be in a coma.
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A fat oz next time your in the UK to anyone who can work that one out.

*HS That just had to **** up.

jvthc

Greenman's got the goods for you. Hard to add much there.

While I have a problem with snooping, it is within their rights.

I recall you from another's post about moving out early. If you recall, I'm 40, I started smoking when I was 14, moved out when I was 16. I also have two grown daughters and a very young son.

I took a peek at your profile, and notice you live in the U.K. Considering the relaxation of laws being considered, I find your situation quite interesting, particularly over the issue of them involving the police.

In the U.S. we have a champion, not extremely well known perhaps, named judge Gray (first name eludes me). He was once employed by the DEA, and for a long time was a judge on the side of the opposition (aligned with the DEA). Then, the truth hit him. Now he is an AVID and very eloquent speaker on the evil of the WOD, and in particular about marijuana.

In one eye opening speech, he refers parents to your particular situation. He asks the audience, if you discovered that your son were smoking marijuana, would your first inclination be to turn him in to the police, or consider a counselor like your priest or pastor?

Most of the audience, and indeed a vast majority of parents, would not first consider involving the police. It's a world of disaster, especially in the U.S. Gray's point is, generally, that if you think of your own son doesn't deserve to be arrested, neither does the average joe pot smoker. Unfortunately, in your parents case, his usually effective narrative fails.

If you were stealing, part of dangerous gang or engaged in some other more sinister criminal acts, I could understand. Involving the police over marijuana makes no sense to me. I know for a fact your parents would despise my medling in their parenting choices, and indeed the choice is theirs. Having the right, though, doesn't make it a reasonable choice. While the U.K. is considerably different, I assume similar potential exists. Imagine if along with everything else the police uncovered you split a buy with a friend. Police here don't call that a cooperative purchase, they call it dealing, and that brings down a world of painful sh*t.

I'm even seriously against drug testing in schools because the very last entity on Earth I want discovering my son has consumed illicit drugs, before I do, is any representative of the State.

Because of their panic (especially your mother's), they are having a tough time of this right now. They are likely under the impression of at least a major part of the worst of the misconceptions about marijuana use, and are imaging all sorts of potential injury and mayhem. Only the legal issues are real, and now they've gone and invited some of that into an already difficult situation. I doubt an attorney would have advised them to do that, but there is a very minor case to be made about covering one's *ss by turning them in, but NOT your own son, for the love of...

Well - you're not my son, and I frankly have no right to invade their authority. Then, too, I am uncomfortable with suggesting a hint of approval for anyone smoking under age, even though I did it myself.

It's true that their ability to trust you is compromised. It will recover, but not likely until you're an adult, living on your own without the need to hide things from them (just keeping private things your own business). Especially if they're considering a support of your college education, you'll have a few years of "rules" to follow. They're going to press the screws to control that, so you have some issues to deal with.

I will say this in psuedo-defense of your parents (though not the decision to invoke the police). You've hit them in a vulnerable and sensitive spot, and hard. From their viewpoint you are a child, and under their responsibility. Finding this means, to them, that they failed in some way, and now are required, by their own parental reflexes, to fix a problem, recover control and protect you from harm. It's about the same to them as keeping a toddling 2 year old from sticking their fingers in the light sockets. Now they'll be doing the equivalent of covering every power socket in the house with plastic guards, screwing on covers to every appliance power cord, and installing child locks on cabinet doors (though it will take more advanced forms relative to your current age and perceived dangers).

They'll probably even watch your Internet access, if they know how (or find out).

I have no particular sage advice any better than Greenman's post. This won't be fixed soon, and weed is probably not an option for some time to come.

Then, too, you have a another problem not yet articulated. Your friends are going to be just a pissed as your parents. I feel for you, man. It's not funny, I know, but I'm chuckling at the thought of suggesting you HIDE.

I know for a fact, having consumed alcohol and marijuana (though never both at the same time, except once to learn why I don't like doing that). Without reserve, with the sole exception of the legal status of weed, I would MUCH rather discover my son has begun smoking pot than drinking booze. Booze is MUCH, MUCH more dangerous.

Best of luck, man. You'll recover and do just fine.

So will your parents.

Your friends, well, I don't know. You'll learn just which one's are real friends, anyway.

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Imagination is more important than knowledge - Sounds like BS, until you realize Einstein said that.

OZONE

Whoa, yeah, I remember you jvthc. First of all, that's a nice piece of writing! Second, it actually helps. Third, thanks! I guess still being a teen, it is difficult to always consider things from my parents' point of view (the electrical socket being a fine example). And I have noticed the covers being put over the sockets. Whenever someone calls at the door, they race me to answer it. When the phone rings, either they answer it, or if I do, one of them suddenly appears in the same room as me for the duration of the call. I guess I've just to expect and tolerate that for a few weeks.
Unfortunatly I live on an island just off the UK, and therefore the legal view on cannabis is probably similiar to your area. I agree with your comment that my parents will most likely being assuming the worst, and I am attempting to prove them otherwise. I have shown them examples of good schoolwork, despite the fact that I had "drugs in my system". It doesn't help when they both know so little about it, and are unwilling to hear me out. However it is understandable.
Thankfully, I have been able to make contact with all my friends involved, and met up with them. I basically apoligised on my parent's behalf, and on my own too. Fortunatly the parents of the two mates that he called have known that they smoked marijuana, and were only disappointed that my mates had decided to continue smoking. So my buddies are cool with it, and glad that I'm doing okay too.
My dad is just after having another chat with me, and he asssumes that I am in with hardened drug dealers who are only hell bent on moving me on to off topic substances in order to milk more money out of me. Such a stereotypical view. He's also stated that him and I will not being going on holiday this year, just my mum and sister, as I cannot be trusted to stay at home alone for two weeks. I assume this is his next tactic - the guilt trip?
This is p*ssing me off now, do I really deserve all this bullsh*t because I want to inhale a non-lethal substance every now and again?! So if my health isn't the problem, and my schoolwork isn't the problem, just what is their problem!? Sorry if this is just another example of the selfish teen, but the fact that they've been pleased with me for so long, and that I've been smoking all that time and that now just because they know I'm treated like a criminal whose sole intention is to destroy everyone's life around me is a little unfair.
I feel that I'm really just being punished for my dad's lack of understanding of marijuana, how common it actually is, and how it doesn't make me any worse of a person!! Reading back through my post, I think the switch in attitude's makes it pretty obvious when my dad walked in to talk? Replies still appreciated, thanks guys.