TOTALPKG

Hey guys/gals,

I just wanted to share. Ive been smoking weed since i was 18, im 38 now. Im not judging anyone first and foremost. Ive been clean for about a month now and i really seem to be coming out of the "fog" so to speak. Weed is great and I dont plan on quitting forever, but i feel its really held me back from making the most outta myself.

I had 0 self control when it came to bud. If i had it i was smoking. I was totally dependent. I didnt think i could have any fun if i didnt have my bud...bud with me. I needed it to get thru the morning commute, i needed it if i became frustrated, i needed it to drive home, i needed it to enjoy my workout (when i did) i needed it to watch my favorite TV shows, i needed it to play my playstation, i needed it to be creative. I was totally abusing the stuff.

I've tried to quit in the past, but just when my stomach begin getting back to normal and my sleep got "normal" id get weak and get some.

The key is self-control, its not weeds fault it was mine. I had friends that seem to smoke and were more successful, got more done ect... i tricked myself into thinking i could too but i couldnt. Ive did all the drugs you think of cocaine, herion, X, drank beer, pain pills you name it. Weed always seems so "safe" but for me it was the most dangerous because it was so unassuming. Like a friend that always patted me on my back saying "its ok man, you will get it done tommorrow, tommorrow, you will get it done later..." I see post and hear ppl talk about getting stoned to enjoy playing music or to this or that, i now dont buy it. Its not meant to be used that way imo. I am now BETTER at "madden" i have a better workout. I now think about everyday problems and deal with them instead of hiding behind my "bud"

I just write this to share and get some tips on self-control with it. I miss it but dont crave i dont "jones" i wont get any until im confident i can control myself. If anyone has any tips, advice, want to flame me thats cool. If someone is going thru the same thing or thinking about themselves along these lines i would like to here from you.

ty.

TP

P.S. I cant wait to get high again and really enjoy it for what its meant for!!!!

Jake

I got a lot of respect for you, bro. Not everyone can realize that they are dependant, and not everyone who realizes can quit.

Marijuana is a very personal drug. It seems as if everyone is looking for the same effects: relaxation, peace of mind, but we all use it in our own personal way. Some people can use it responsibly, some can't. The people who can't should quit, and only return when they know that their ways have fixed or if they no longer have responsibilities.

You won't believe how many people smoke weed during their teens, quickly find out that they should quit in their twenties, and don't smoke again until they're retired and their children are out of the house. For them, it was the best course of action.

I can't really give you any advice on self-control. Because self-control is completely dependant on yourself. The advice I will give is not to get bitter at people who can enjoy marijuana responsibly. I've seen too many people quit and I wouldn't care, and then a month or so later, they are complete dicks to all of the stoners thinking that they are better than them.

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Buzzby

The obvious thing to tell you is that you have to set limits for yourself. "I'm only going to smoke Friday night through Saturday night, and no more than three joints a week." What I do is not use any weed until two hours before I go to bed and never more than a half gram a day.

I know that's more easily said than done. Many people who become drug-dependent have a particular kind of personality that can't resist temptation. The best thing for this kind of person is to totally avoid the things he can't resist, just as an alcoholic should never take a drink. If you don't have it around, you can't use it. If your friends are real friends, they'll respect your decision not to smoke and not offer it to you.

When I used to smoke all the time (early 70s), I hated the way I felt. I had no energy, I could never think clearly, and I always felt "slow". Feel bad? Smoke more! That was a strategy that never really worked out too well...

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TOTALPKG

Thanks for those responses! Just need a little mental toughness

TP

Herbalista

I think that everyone who has smoked for an extended period of time feels the same. I've been smoking for years, and sometimes I get so used to smoking I dont even really get high anymore. My mind has become mentally addicted to the drug, and it's became sort of a routine to smoke in the past.

Its nice when you take a break and come back to it. Sometimes when you quit, the "coming out of the fog" and not being under the influence can feel like a natural high. Its like your seeing the world in a crisp clear way again, its pretty cool. Ive quit for years at a time before.

Im a bit older and a bit more mature now, I smoke only when I know its a good time to smoke.

Herbalista

PS: I still smoke regularly, but not because of an addiction or routine, but by choice.

Moe Szyslak

Lots of good advice in this thread. You sound a little like me TOTAL. I'm 36 and have been smoking since I was 16. I don't want to repeat myself too much, but in another thread I mentioned that I was feeling quite crappy about myself & my smoking habits about a year ago, so I quit for a while. Best thing I ever did. I smoke a lot less now, & have things under control.

I think you've got a lot of it figured out. You've stopped for a month, which is a lot longer than most stoners I know could go. You also realize that You are the problem, that is a major step.

You are gonna get so high the first time you smoke again!

blondie0420

I'll preface this by saying that your post really rubbed me the wrong way. It's not that you wrote it poorly, it's just that, shit, I would expect to read a story like this on Freevibe or hear about it on one of those "above the influence" ads on TV.

Marijuana did nothing to you that you wouldn't have done on your own. You were weak to begin with. You latched onto weed, it didn't latch onto you. You used it as a crutch because you weren't strong enough to get your shit done right, and now you've taken that crutch and blamed it for slowing you down.

Seriously, did you just plagarize a story from Freevibe or something? Reading that portion I quoted really makes me wonder.

I realize you admit in your post that it was your own lack of self control that harmed you, but your thread title "I've smoked too much, it's held me back" seems contradictory to those statements. You held yourself back. Mary Jane was just along for the ride to help you pass the time. If you weren't getting high, maybe you would've been playing video games or watching TV, but whatever you were doing, you knew you were doing wrong. At what point in 20 years of smoking did you not have the ability to say "I'm not going to smoke today until I get this work done?" At what point were you so tied down that you couldn't get up and get right before getting high? Just because you lacked the self control to do what you needed to do, doesn't mean weed played any major role in causing that -- correlation doesn't equal causation. Weed didn't make you lazy, and just because you were lazy when you were smoking, doesn't mean you wouldn't have been if you weren't getting high.

You are 38 years old -- nearly twice my age -- and it's taken you 20 years of smoking to realize that when smoking weed, as with anything, it's always best to exert a little self control? It's taken you 20 years to realize that you should get your work done before you play? You waited until you were 38 years old to take the time to think about what impact your own laziness is having on your ability to succeed? I pity you. I really do.

Self control is something you grow inside yourself by knowing the difference between what's right and wrong. Self control is something you work at every single day. No one can tell you how to have self control, it needs to come from inside you. You set your own boundaries, you make your own decisions. You are a grown man, you should know what's right for your own life. That's not something that strangers on the internet can really help you with on any sort of meaningful level. Sure, we can say "don't get high until two hours before bed," but if you try that without any real personal committment to self control, I suspect that very quickly you'll find yourself back to your old ways.

I don't know what more to say except that I really wish you luck in dealing with your issues of self control and motivation, but weed is not the cause of either of them.

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matjb1231

ok so that was just fucked up.

this guy has just realized that he wasnt able to handle marijuana, just like some people cant handle alcohol, and you go and bash him for admitting to himself and to us that his abuse of it did in fact hold him back. Its entirely possible.

I have alot of respect for him because he was man enough to say this is bad for me, i need to stop. He also realized that he was the problem, not marijuana. Exactly the opposite of what you said.

now dont get mad at me for this, i just dont like to see people i respect disrespected like that.

Richi

First of all, good job and congrats to Totalpkg. We're here to help ya buddy...

I see where blondie is coming from, and her point is clearly stated but it does come off as harsh.

Total said that the problem wasn't marijuana's fault, and the blame lies on the person abusing the substance. The title probably refers to his own mistakes smoking too much. But indeed, if it wasn't weed, it'd be something else that he would 'need'.

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