Acidrain09

Hey guys, this post is about a crazy, freak out experence I had 2 days ago.

It all started with a normal night at my friends house. I had just arived there, and I started rolling up a fat J straight away. Me and 3 friends went into the backyard to get our toke on. I lit up my J, and asked if anyone wanted some free hits courtisy of me, but they all declinded, saying that I needed to get my smoke on. I smoked up the whole J pretty quickly, then turned to my friends who had packed a huge bowl in their bong. I thoght, what the fuck, and I made the bowl even huger by packin some of my bud in. After we finished that bowl, we repeted the process. After we finished the 2nd bowl my friend then pulled out the last of the 1/2 0 of afghani (the stongest bud that I have ever encountered, and let me tell you, I have encountered alot of bud) and, sence I have never tried the afghani before that, he packed a huge bowl just for me. He bet me that I couldnt finish it all in one hit, and I proved him wrong, beasting on the entire bowl.

We then got up, and walked into my friends room to play some sweet Halo 3. But before we could get out halo on, we decided to order a pizza. After 10 minuites of tring to remember how to order a pizza, things started to get bad. I thought all of my friends were not doin too good. I started to say "Chill the fuck out guys, its fine" when they, I know now, were just ordering a pizza. I then myself started to freak out, I started yelling. I dont remember what I was yelling, I know that it was somthing like "what the fuck is going on... Im fucking going crazy..." blah blah blah. I felt like I was in hell. I knew what hell felt like and I knew that it was never going to end. I then started crying, and telling my friends that I was sorry for freaking out. They all said that it was fine, its nothing, but I still wasnt ok. I told my friend that I needed to go outside. I went back into his backyard. I started paceing around, and thinking that I was going crazy. I contimplated killing myself. I thought that if I really am going crazy, I would rather die with diginity than be trapped in a mental hospital. I thought that that was the only escape. Just then, my friend came outside and gave me some orange juice and sat me down at the table. He told me to finish the orange juice, and that the vitimins wear off the high. He then proceded to try everything in his power to calm me down. He layed me down on his couch and told me that it was gonna be fine.

And now, two days later, Im still freaked the fuck out about what happened that night. I experienced hell, and now Im back.

My question is, can I still smoke bud without loosing my mind?
Its nigh impossible for me to quit, because everyone in my school smokes, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone. But if quitting means keeping my sanity, then it is a small price to pay.

PS. Im in 9th grade, and been smokin seince 8th, Im not the most seasoned smoker, but I love smoking, and would HATE to give it up.

PPS. Im wondering if this is my own way of having a panic attack, when I was walking around in the backyard, I did notice an extreamly elevated heartrate.

Please help.
Thanks.