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S&MPenguin

Nov. (maybe) 1998(almost definate)

It all started because the Rev. wanted to prove a point about gas economy. He, my other stoner lifemate Black and myself were cruising through suburbia on a blunt ride. The routes we took on these little excursions were infinately varied though covering the same general territory but there was a starting point. At the time there was only one store that thought I looked of age (maybe) to buy tobacco products so we would hit them up, take a nearby circular loop down one small suburban street during which I rolled up, then hit the closest entrance to the suburban maze where we would proceed to fire the blunt up.

Now this starting point was situated on a series of hills that if riden correctly allowed you to coast for upwards of two miles.The blunt was on about its third go around when the Rev. decided to comment on Black's heavy footed driving. Black wasn't speeding but he was going faster then the situation dictated. We weren't trying to get anywhere but to the end of the blunt so speed wasn't nesseccarry and seeing how we were already putting a small bit of change in the air already it would save all our pockets (back when a gal. of gas was a buck and some change ) if he would try to coast as much as possible. To prove his point the Rev. asked Black to take the next right and head back near where the ride officially began and start over this time coasting on through. Black obliged, took the right and passed the blunt back to me.

We ended up coming up behind a car at a stop sign and waited for it to make it's turn...and waited...and waited. Wondering WTF we decided to cut in front and proceed on our merry way. Black squeezed on past and came to a complete stop at the sign at which point the driver of the other vehicle got out and walked up on our car. He walks up to the driver side window and asked in halting english with an African accent for help because he was lost. Black rolls down the window straight blasting the guy with a cloud of smoke in the process and asked where he was trying to get to? The guy seemingly unphased says he suppose to be speaking at a church and had directions but had gotten lost. Black asked to take a look at his directions and the guy hands them over. Black looks at them for several seconds and passes them over to Rev. asking if he knew where it was at. The Rev. looks them over and says "These directions are fucked" and passes them back to me.

I looked over the directions which were extremely detailed and precise and ohh so fucked.The direction had dude taking close to a dozen different turns straight through suburbia almost mimicing one of our blunt rides. I pride myself on my ablity to make mental maps and I tried to work my way through them but to no avail. These directions consisted of turns that I was fairly certian didn't exist. I absentmindedly took a hit off the blunt and decided to cut through all the garbage and find out what the final destination was only to find these detailed and precise directions didn't have one, just the final turn and the aprroximate distance to the church. Working backwards through the directions I thought I had an idea of what church he was trying to get to, though with the number of churchs in this town it was kind of crap shoot and told the guy to follow us.

I played navigator and the blunt continued its go around and we made our way to the church I was thinking of. No dice, wrong church, we decided to check to see if it was the church up the street and Black told the guy to follow us.Again no luck, so we we decided to head to the closest point on the directions and try to work our way through. But agian the directions were fucked and we ended up aimlessly wandering looking for turns that didn't exist.Our wanderings brought us sort of close to another church and we decided to check it out. It wasn't it either, by this point this point the blunt was close to done and so was our paintance but our honor wouldn't allow us to leave dude in the lurch. It was the Rev. who finally saw a way out and told the guy to follow us just a bit more up to the gas station where we bought blunts.

Armed with the name of the church I made my way into the store and asked the clerk if I could see their phone book. It was that simple, we now had a destination, which was little more then a mile away from the first church we visited. I bought another blunt and a bag of chip and off we went to blessedly arrive at the right place. I took a second and wrote out a proper set of directions that consisted all of three turns and got out the car to give them to the guy. I gave my best stare of utter contempt I could muster at 16 (I've gotten better with age) for the WASP couple who presumedely gave this guy his fouled up directions (bet it was the woman) and handed the new directions over to the guy. He thanked us for all our help and off we went into the night to go smoke more weed.

 

Freedom_User

That was good...

For some reason I was thinking it would of been a joke? Or... some punch line at the end. But yeah.. That was nice.

SpiralArchitect

Great story man. Well written - seriously, it kept me enthralled the whole time. What a nice thing to do.

__________________
I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm,
to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human.

Alive-And-Dreaming

that was strangley well written.

troublemaker_42

S&M may not post a lot, but what he does post is usally worth a read! It may not be exciting, it may not be qaction packed, yet it never fails to hold my attention, which is rare for an ADD (undiagnosed) guy like me!!!

__________________
Remember you're a wreck, an accident
forget the freak, you're just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean
shit, snort and blaspheme
Let the heads cool and the engine run
Because in the end,
everything we do
is just everything we've done..."Omega" by StoneSour
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