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Dark

I do see your points, I really do. Maybe I am being a little stubborn....but I hate the idea of just sucking up my views to please others, I think it's very unfair.

But, you all are very right, family is the most important thing in life. Much more important than my stance on religion, and the voice of the masses have really touched me on this subject. I'm sure she wouldn't understand why I'm not there (even though she is pretty young, I doubt she'd even care ). It isn't fair to her.....she isn't even old enough to make her own decision on religion really.

I remember my 1st communion, everyone in my family attended. Some people did take it very serious, buying me my first bible, given my first rosary, but for the most part it was just a celebration of family.

It's very hard to just suck up my beliefs and go along with it to please everyone...I still think it's a very shitty situation for me to be in. Everyone always expects the atheist to just keep his mouth shut because it only upsets people, and at the same time be supportive of their beliefs, no matter if they respect mine or not. That's no easy task.

I think I've decided, that I'm probably going to discuss the issue with her parents. Not the issue of God, just the issue of me attending. iloveunot said I should do this when I discussed it with her last night, and she is probably right.
I'm going to try and tell them that I am atheist. That I have no problem with their belief, and I would like to attend for the simple reason of supporting her.
If they have a problem with my belief, or me attending because I am atheist, then I will not be going. Let her find out from her parents why I didn't show...

But if they have no problem with my stance on the issue, then I will be attending the party.
IMO, this is the fairest way to solve this.

Thank you all for your opinions. This is exactly why I posted my story.

I still feel uneasy about the situation....but I guess that's life

__________________

 

Andrew87

To be honest, if someone is so narrow-minded as not to even attempt to comprehend the merits of an opposing viewpoint, I'd be questioning my association with them anyways. Family or not - these sorts of people are often terribly frustrating and even a little depressing.

I think that if an approach like this -

- is not sufficient (especially to a family member), I wouldn't consider them worth my time in the first place.

__________________
"I like the moment when I break a man's ego." -- Bobby Fischer

Dark

As cruel as it sounds, her parents aren't really worth my time...

I have had so many encounters with them it's not even funny. It was only recently when I stopped associating with them did they finally try to get on my good side...

But it isn't about them, it's about their daughter. She never did nothin wrong and I love the lil squirt .

OrpheriuM

Dark I agree with you that religion can cause lots of problems in the world by making people go to war over religious beliefs and not to mention many other things but im just wondering if you don't even have some question in your mind that ther might be something greater in the universe some order or power or something im just wondering

__________________
Death becomes thee who is Horridly High

JohnBoySmoker

And isn't this communion about a little girl reaching a milestone in her development? I'm sure you care about her deeply and I'm sure it would mean the world to her if you attended this event in her life.

 

Alive-And-Dreaming

If you can congratulate the girl, you can go to her party. It isn't fair that your cousin won't see you because of your wool-headed values.

Darque Pervert

You? Stubborn? Naaaaaaah!


Seriously, man...
I know the exact position you're in. I don't really consider myself an atheist, more of "non-religious".
Whenever I have a meal with my in-laws someone says a prayer. I get invited to go to church and I usually go on Christmas and/or Easter just to support my family.

It's less about complying with a religious doctrine and supporting a dogma you don't agree with and more about supporting your family.

This is a significant moment in your cousin's life. Despite issues with the parents (you stated previously that you really couldn't give two shits about them), I think you should attend if nothing else to let the family know that you support them despite your differences.You take the high road.
Now, if someone starts crawling up your ass with suggestions and how you need God in your life or whatever, you can politely (or not-so politely, as you see fit) leave.

If nothing else, your presence will have an impact on your cousin, even at this young age. They will know that you love them and support them. They will also know that you don't have to necessarily believe in the "family dogma" to get along, as you are living proof of that. At some point, your cousin will question the family belief system and they will know that you will be able to provide some objectivity.
There's no reason why you can't plant this seed now when they are young.

Do what you feel you must, Dark, but I think not going is a mistake.

__________________

Life is always a spiral. It's the choices of the individual as to whether that spiral is aimed up or down.

Darkflan

In this situation I would go to the party not the communion. And at the party, if you are given a hard time walk to your cousin, tell her how proud you are of her and her accomplishments because its what she believes, and screw the rest of them and just walk out. As long as she knows your care about her accomplishments I think thats all that matters.

If you don't want to go to the party find an alternate way of saying congrats. Maybe take her to dinner or spend a day with her. Just an idea.

__________________
"They say we fund al-aquada
sounds like the governments jealous
lets get the enemy stoned
bring our ninjas home
to hell with Christian zealots " -mc chris

pkster8235

As an atheist too I can totally understand why you wouldn't go. It's a religious ceremony.. it's not like you skipped the kid's birthday. I don't get why your family would be upset.. you respect their beliefs and they should respect yours (or lack of).
Don't feel bad about your decision Dark. You were polite about it and respectful and that's all you owed.

__________________

I wanna live it out, I know I'm already dead.
No concrete adversity, only traps of our own actions.
How we wanted it to be, now I'm never gonna see you again..
you checked out.

JohnBoySmoker

I understand your position but its not about the cerimony but rather the child involved.Understand her level of maturity and how she might react to his absence. Here's what I'd do. I'd just go, sit in the back and read a magazine. Stand when everyone else stands and sit when everyone else is sitting.
Family is about building bridges, not building walls.