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Dark

I was first going to put this in religion, but really it's more of a personal story.

Tomorrow one of my young cousins is going through her 1st communion as a Catholic. If any of you have gone through it, you know it's a pretty big deal in the church, and to most of your family if you are religious.

Well as many know, I'm atheist. I have strong views on the subject of religion and how I do not agree with it. With that said, I've told my family that I won't be attending the ceremony, or the party afterwards. I didn't say anything bad about their religion, I didn't say anything about their beliefs, I even congratulated the girl on her 1st communion....but I'm still getting shit for my stance.

Everyone that I talk to says I should just be supportive and go at least to the party, but I can't help but to feel uncomfortable about that. Sure the party is not going to be very religious-based, but the fact of the matter is, the celebration is for her first communion, period.
In my mind, attending that party is simply being passive about one of the biggest problems we have(IMO) on Earth these days. They don't understand my views, and I never try to push my beliefs on anyone in the family. Half of the family doesn't even know I'm atheist, and I would almost go as far as to say if her parents knew I was atheist, I doubt they'd even talk to me much anymore. Yet I'm still made to feel bad just because I don't want to attend.

Am I wrong for not going? Like I said I'm not putting her or her beliefs down whatsoever, and I even congratulated her, but I can't attend something like that. I mention this to my mother yesterday and she rolls her eyes and says "Are you kidding me??". It makes me feel bad. I have to be so respectful to everyone elses views, yet when I have a strong belief(or disbelief, if you will) then people can't give me the same respect.
After all, I doubt they would attend if I was throwing a party celebrating my Atheism.

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2:26 AM Dark is confused
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Sec

I believe that attending the ceremony could compromise your beliefs, but to attend the party afterwards only would show your love and support for your cousin. She is experiencing something for the first time in her life and it is a very big deal to her.

Do you plan on attending her wedding when she gets married. You do realize that a wedding in the church is a religious affair. The reception afterwards is the party, a celebration of passing a milestone in one's life. Same thing here. Your cousin's party is a celebration of her passing this once in a lifetime occasion in her life. You can attend the party and still not compromise your beliefs. I have attended celebrations such as this and I am not catholic. I still maintain my beliefs, but support others in their accomplishments and achievements.

I attend graduation parties but never attended that school. Same thing.

If I felt the way you do, I would have no problem attending the party afterwards.

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Buzzby

To me, it seems like a silly issue over which to alienate your family. You sound more like an anti-religionist than a simple atheist. Most people I know who don't believe in gods seem to have little problem accepting that other people of good will do believe in gods. I don't believe in gods (most of the time), but that would never stop me from enjoying a joyful celebration with friends and family.

Religion serves a purpose in the lives most people. The world is a dangerous and scary place. If it makes you feel better to believe that there is someone watching over you, what's wrong with that? Unless you think that you're that much smarter than the great majority of the human race, including some of the greatest minds of all time, then you ought to leave room for the idea that they might be right and you're wrong.

Your family is more important than making a philosophical point. People are more important than positions.

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Dark

That's what someone else also told me, but I see many differences there. Yes, many weddings do happen in a church, but the wedding itself isn't about religion. A wedding is about two people loving each other and wanting to spend their life together, and the church is basically just giving their approval on the marriage.

To me, the two are different. A wedding may have religious connections, but the wedding itself is not a celebration of religion.

Sec

Not to me. I got married in a "wedding chapel" twice and a church once. The church ceremony was different. It was about religion. The wedding chapel events were simply about joining two people in marriage. If you want to be married, you can go to the city hall, a wedding chapel, get a licensed person to marry you in the park or even a basement if you want. If you want a religious ceremony, you get married by a minister, preacher or father in a church.

Marriage is a legal thing. A ceremony is a religious thing.

Back to the subject, I don't feel as if you are compromising YOUR BELIEFS by celebrating and showing support to others for passing milestones in THEIR BELIEFS.

 

Dark

Ok, so I see your points, although I don't completely agree..
But I still can't help to think...if I was throwing a party in celebration for my atheism, do you really think a family of Catholics would attend? I don't...In fact I think they would probably ridicule me for my beliefs and how I am wrong for thinking that. I can't even mention atheism to my grandmother without her crying. Even if it was something I was very happy and proud about, I don't think they would attend because of their beliefs.
So why is it any different for me? I'm not even putting her beliefs down. I don't get that at all

dedbr

I think I would like to see it if for no other reason than to see how the other side observes it practices. Party is one of my favorite words because they usually has free food there, free being another of my favorite words.....

I guess I'm trying to say put down the "atheist chip" and have a good time. I'm an atheist in my belief system but still can enjoy the family and friends. I sure ain't gonna show up with a sign that says, "I don't believe in your religion, but I do like to eat....How ya doin' Bru? "

I go into stealth mode and cruise the chics and the food, Bru........


Some Where In Ded Land................

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macphearsome

The world isn't fair. You're right; I agree with you about the hypocrisy - a religious person's beliefs are sacred and holy and beautiful and you can't say a damned thing about them, but an atheist is just a big debby-downer who doesn't have beliefs and everybody can say anything they want and you shouldn't be offended because you're just a big dumb atheist.

It's stupid. Why can't my belief that there isn't a God be respected as much as a Catholic's beliefs that there is a God? But try to explain that to them and you'll see it just isn't worth it.


In my opinion, there's a time to be proud about your beliefs and let people know, and then there are times when it just isn't worth it. Swallow your pride. It's not worth it. Go to the party, at least. This is family, and that's important to you, right? Maybe one day they will understand you. Maybe not. But the most important thing is that you just go ahead and support your cousin, even if it means buying into their stupid little ceremony and getting dressed up for a god you don't believe in.

I'm an atheist, and I went to my friend's wedding last summer as the best man. There were about 300 people at the reception (I missed the wedding because I was at the hospital - long story) and I'm sure I was the only person there that wasn't a Presbyterian or whatever. I felt SO out of place. It was "God loves us" this and "we love God" that and "God wants us to be together, and to join these two families" every few seconds. My friend knows I'm an atheist, and I'm sure he was just happy that I was there.

That's what it's about man.

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Freedom_User

Tehehehehe!

I am in a religion that really isn't that public. Baha'i. I/we usually get bashed by other religions for our beliefs. Even though I only use this religion for its spiritual rituals. That's about it. That said, I have been to many many many different religious based parties, such as bar mitzvahs and other things. I do not agree with what they teach. But I attend just to show support on what they find very important. Even though I can assume they wouldn't attend any of my belief ceremonies, so I just think that gives me a big one up on me. I wouldn't be upset about it, because some religions over the world would simply kill you if you thought differently.

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Billy Shears

I can only echo the sentiments that people have already said. There is a time and a place to debate/protest religion. A family member's first communion is probably not the best time. If anything, just think of how good of a person you are being for swallowing your pride to support your cousin. In the short and long run, supporting family is much more important than a debate that will go on forever

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