Chambers sues God

Plainsman1963 · 09-21-2007, 09:52 AM

Couldn't decide if this should go in religion or politics...Guess it could be either/or.

Quote:

Nebraska Democratic State Senator Ernie Chambers has decided to go straight to the top in an effort to stop natural disasters from befalling the world.

Chambers filed a lawsuit against God in Douglas County Court Friday afternoon, KPTM Fox 42 reported.

The suit asks for a "permanent injunction ordering Defendant to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats."

The lawsuit identifies the plaintiff as, "the duly elected and serving State Senator from the 11th Legislative District in Omaha, Nebraska."

Chambers also cites that the, "defendant directly and proximately has caused, inter alia, fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornados, pestilential plagues..."

Chambers says he isn't suing God because he has any kind of beef with the deity. He says the suit is to fight possible laws restricting the filing of frivolous lawsuits. Chambers tells KPTM FOX 42 News that his lawsuit is in response to bills brought forth by other state senators to try and stop lawsuits from being filed.

"The Constitution requires that the courthouse doors be open, so you cannot prohibit the filing of suits," Chambers says. "Anyone can sue anyone they choose, even God."

Chambers bases his ability to sue God, as, "that defendant, being omnipresent, is personally present in Douglas County."

But wait...It gets better!

Quote:

'God' responds to legislator's lawsuit

A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha said he sued God last week to make a point about frivolous lawsuits.

One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here -- poof!" Friend said.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to make the point that anybody can sue anybody.

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.

Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office Thursday were unsuccessful.

I like how the two stories has him on both sides. One says he is protesting legislation trying to restrict lawsuits, the other one says he is protesting the frivolous lawsuits.

**Hashishi** · 09-21-2007, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plainsman1963

I like how the two stories has him on both sides. One says he is protesting legislation trying to restrict lawsuits, the other one says he is protesting the frivolous lawsuits.

Didn`t even catch that on my first read! This is almost too good to be true!

Great find, Plains!

Buzzby · 09-21-2007, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plainsman1963

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

The filing should be thrown out of court because the witness is a phony.

There was a St. Michael. There is an Archangel Michael, commander of God's military forces. They are not the same entity. Humans don't become angels. God created angels as a separate order of beings long before He created humans.

HazyBritBoi · 09-21-2007, 08:38 PM

Praise the heavens there IS a God!

Trocisp · 09-21-2007, 09:55 PM

I seriously doubt he'd come down from his house on high erect to respond to something as puny as a court order, when he hasn't lifted a proverbial finger to assist humans in any way, or produce any convincing evidence to his existence in the last few hundred years at minimum, to thousands of years, or even never, depending on what you believe.

And then... there's considerable evidence that... you know, physics don't just allow things to *poof* into place.

Plainsman1963 · 09-21-2007, 10:01 PM

You might be taking it a tad too seriously.

But thanks for the physics lesson...I was sure it just *poofed* into existence.

I personally think Satan should be called as a character witness.

Trocisp · 09-21-2007, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plainsman1963

You might be taking it a tad too seriously.

But thanks for the physics lesson...I was sure it just *poofed* into existence.

I personally think Satan should be called as a character witness.

Or maybe it was more poking fun at the poking fun in the first place?

09-21-2007, 08:38 PM	#4
HazyBritBoi Jr. Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 189 Grams: 5,051.36 Thanks: 27 Thanked 52 Times in 35 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Praise the heavens there IS a God! __________________ Yea i can pot in my freezer.....WTF I CANT PUT POT IN MY FREEZER!

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