DtEW

Important warnings for those who have been drawn unsuspectingly into the use of bread:

More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

Newborn babies can choke on bread.

Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.





In light of these frightening statistics, the following bread restrictions are proposed:

No sale of bread to minors.

A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

~Just say no to dough, and all manner of dough peddlers!



Quoted from here:
Bread Hazards - ACA Canyon Forums

steakii

That has been done over so many times, its just dumb

DtEW

No idea, not that I read these forums that much to know. I just forwarded something from another forum that I thought you guys would appreciate.

Lit_Match

I thought it held a valid point, I've seen other versions of the same style argument, but not very many times on this board in the time I've been here.

If you hang around long enough and stop by the Headline News and Legalization forums from time to time you'll be fluent in putting away bullshit propaganda and opinion based "studies" in no time.

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sterbo

Still, it makes a very good point and I for one appreciate it especially since I've never run across it before.
Hmm, like someone here said a while back, maybe 'ol sterbo has spent too much time immersed in salt water...

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