How do you wipe?

Trocisp · 03-07-2008, 03:28 PM

I understand if you don't want to be part of this thread, but on another forum I frequent a thread like this turned out to be truly epic. So I figured I'd try to do the same here.

How do you wipe? Standing up or sitting down?

Also, toilet paper? The hard bulk-roll or soft cottony stuff. How much? 2 ply or a whole handful.

Is this a grotesque thread? Yes. But if you can take the thread, humor almost always results.

**Dark** · 03-07-2008, 03:46 PM

First off, LMAO

I wipe sitting down. I use whatever paper, I'm not picky, unless its the real thin shit...

and I fold my paper by the creases, I don't ball it up

.

Trocisp · 03-08-2008, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark

First off, LMAO

That's why I'm here.

This thread is meant to be something at least quite a bit humorous.

**Feorge Gorman** · 03-08-2008, 12:21 AM

...so when I'm done I can shoot down any klingons that don't come off with paper!

Seriously...I actually said "seriously"

, I wipe sitting down, and can't STAND that soft foo-foo tissue! It's gotta be Scott tissue or nothing else! We occasionally have to pick up a 4 pack of the store brands cheap TP...I figure you get about 4 wipes per roll!

I have to have a nice handful, and no folding...just roll into a loose ball. I start from the asscrack, and work my way down. Usually 2 nice wipes, and one for good measure!

Hey, you ASKED Trocisp!

EDIT: I HAVE always wanted to try a bidet though! They're popular in Europe, I believe.

Pompo · 03-09-2008, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feorge Gorman

EDIT: I HAVE always wanted to try a bidet though! They're popular in Europe, I believe.

Nothing like the warm caress of a nice spritz on the ole sphincter

The Man's Bathroom

Standing and slightly bent forward for better spreadage ( so to speek ) and quilted northern.
For the really heavy loads, as it were, I have the wife break out the 2500psi pressure washer and squeegee. Great for getting to those hard to reach places

$moKeDanK · 03-10-2008, 04:47 AM

since when do people use toilet paper to wipe ther ass, i thought thats why we had hands

Jake · 03-07-2008, 04:10 PM

I wipe sitting down....why go through the effort to stand up?

My toilet paper is pretty cheap, but it's better than the stuff at public schools....one day we'll have enough money for 2-ply

**newcarcaviar** · 03-07-2008, 04:17 PM

Ahahaha! Something tells me this will become an epic thread!

I wipe sitting down using the soft cottony stuff (provided I'm at home). I use 4 or 5 squares per wipe and I'm most definitely a folder.

Viper420 · 03-07-2008, 04:43 PM

In some parts of this world, you just squat and then use your hand minus the paper.

KingDub · 03-07-2008, 05:55 PM

As for the toilet paper, I tend to get the better wipe with the soft tissue. The bulk shit works, but I don't feel it's particularly well suited to drier shits where you'll end up getting a much rougher, less satisfying wipe. Having said that, a lot of those bulk papers are recycled, so in addition to a clean ass, you get an environmental bonus. Gotta love that.

View Poll Results: How do you wipe?
Standing up	60	37.74%
Sitting down	91	57.23%
Other (You must specify)	8	5.03%
Voters: 159. You may not vote on this poll

03-07-2008, 03:28 PM	#1
Trocisp Banned Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,214 Grams: 49,800.68 Thanks: 783 Thanked 1,452 Times in 890 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	How do you wipe? I understand if you don't want to be part of this thread, but on another forum I frequent a thread like this turned out to be truly epic. So I figured I'd try to do the same here. How do you wipe? Standing up or sitting down? Also, toilet paper? The hard bulk-roll or soft cottony stuff. How much? 2 ply or a whole handful. Is this a grotesque thread? Yes. But if you can take the thread, humor almost always results.

03-07-2008, 03:46 PM	#2
Dark Fool on the Hill Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 5,466 Grams: 21,872.02 Thanks: 1,591 Thanked 2,489 Times in 1,314 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	First off, LMAO I wipe sitting down. I use whatever paper, I'm not picky, unless its the real thin shit... and I fold my paper by the creases, I don't ball it up . __________________ Dear Ndugu, *Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses*

03-08-2008, 12:21 AM	#4
Feorge Gorman Subscriber Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 2,040 Grams: 12,504.65 Thanks: 510 Thanked 651 Times in 386 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I keep a squirt gun by the commode... ...so when I'm done I can shoot down any klingons that don't come off with paper! Seriously...I actually said "seriously" , I wipe sitting down, and can't STAND that soft foo-foo tissue! It's gotta be Scott tissue or nothing else! We occasionally have to pick up a 4 pack of the store brands cheap TP...I figure you get about 4 wipes per roll! I have to have a nice handful, and no folding...just roll into a loose ball. I start from the asscrack, and work my way down. Usually 2 nice wipes, and one for good measure! Hey, you ASKED Trocisp! EDIT: I HAVE always wanted to try a bidet though! They're popular in Europe, I believe. __________________ feorge New to Marijuana Dot Com? Be sure to read our POSTING GUIDELINES. Last edited by Feorge Gorman : 03-08-2008 at 12:32 AM.

03-07-2008, 04:10 PM	#7
Jake Sr. Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 6,612 Grams: 36,876.54 Thanks: 337 Thanked 991 Times in 599 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: -1.000%	I wipe sitting down....why go through the effort to stand up? My toilet paper is pretty cheap, but it's better than the stuff at public schools....one day we'll have enough money for 2-ply __________________

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