Marijuana.com

Bx4Lyfe_2005 · 09-10-2005, 05:58 PM

I sat down and read this post 2x, because it really does invite some insight into yourself...nothing i havent done already, but it was refreshing in some ways to see someone else with the same thoughts.

There are going to be many factors in this...peer pressure, curiousity, family history of substance abuse...the whole gamut of possiblites. Even something as mundane as age and local will be a contributing factor.

I will try to keep the focus to smoking, because, well hell, thats what the forum is for!

I am without a doubt a straight-laced person...I have NEVER touched anything other that alcohol when I was younger, and I am proud of that. I still drink, in social moderation to this day. I did not start smoking until I was (dont laugh) 25.

Why? Half Peer Pressure (sort of, the woman I was dating for over a year was into it, and she wanted to share, lol) and by that time I was curious about it enough to try it. And lets face it, smoking is as cheap a "starter habit" as you were going to get in relation to the other crazy s**t thats out there.

I tried it, I liked it, and have been doing it since.

WIll I stop, or can I? Yes, but I wont for now, because I like it, and I dont do it enough to worry about it.

Do I know its wrong/illegal? Hell yeah, which is why I am so careful. I have NO need to have THAT pop up on a offical record somewhere, working in the private sector or not. I may want to cross over to the public sector, and I dont want that to follow me.

Do I regret not trying it younger? Thats a rough question, because I dont believe that every young person can handle it..yes I know alot of you are going "But I CAN, and have.." but thats just my opinion. Drinking, smoking...theres plenty of time to try this stuff once you hit 18...dont be in a rush to be grown up; believe me, age will find you no matter what, and running towards it is just going to leave you tired and out of breath, no shape to handle the real serious stuff.

I don't mean to come on like a old fart, but it's just my POV. I dont regret waiting until I was older. I hope that if you are doing it now, and you are underage, you are mature enough to handle the fun & responsiblity that goes hand in hand with it.

I especially hope that you understand the consequences that are around it, legal and otherwise.

blondie0420 · 09-10-2005, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bx4Lyfe_2005

I especially hope that you understand the consequences that are around it, legal and otherwise.

Good point. That's probably the best thing, understanding the consequences of all of your actions, whether right, wrong or inbetween.

The thing about using drugs which I've never fully understood is why people get started in the first place. I don't believe in peer pressure, and I would never be friends with any person who tried to convince me to do anything I didn't want to do. And, although I think some people may claim that they use drugs just for fun or just because they feel like it, I know that's not the reason I do it, and I don't believe that's the real reason most other people use them either.

Why do I use drugs? Easy answer: because something really is missing from my life. But, I have absolutely no idea what is missing - maybe my problems are only imagined. Maybe every problem is just part of our imagination.

I've had people tell me straight to my face that I have a drug problem. And, I'll admit (though it's off topic), there was a time at which I could've been considered "addicted" to pain pills. I smoke pot everyday, I go to school high, I drive high, I endanger myself and others. Does that mean that I think I really do have a drug problem? No. I think it just means that I make foolish decisions and that I still have a lot of growing up to do.

I also got into a lot of trouble at school for supposedly becoming an alcoholic. But I still drink, I still take pain pills just for the heck of it, and I still smoke pot every single day. (Sorry for going a little off topic.)

So does that mean I should be in therapy? Should I join AA? Should I join some sort of counseling program? I don't think so. Not only would I not accept the help of strangers, but, at this point, I've convinced myself that my problems mostly have to do with the fact that even when I'm sober, I hate myself.

I did go to therapy while in high school, because my parents and teachers were convinced that I was suffering from depression. I remember once, my parents went away for the weekend, and they wouldn't let me stay home alone because they honestly thought I would kill myself. But therapy didn't help me, it made me worse. I'd go there on a "good day," talk about my problems, and cry on a stranger's couch for an hour, and I'd leave feeling worse off than I started.

Truth is, sometimes I cry for no real reason. Sometimes when I'm high, or drunk, or just being stupid, I can't control myself, and I lose it, and I cry for hours. Would I kill myself? No. Because, honestly, I'm more afraid of dying than I am of living - even though, at times, life can be pretty scary and hard.

I think, mostly, I could sum up my feelings with a quote I once heard in a movie, or on TV, or in a song, or somewhere else: "You can't kill me, I'm already dead." Because I am. I'm dead on the inside. I'm an empty shell. I'm nothing.

theculture · 09-11-2005, 04:20 AM

Sorry I didnt read that huge wall of text.. but..

GOOD question
I get high because I have a GREAT time 90% of the time I do it.
It makes everything better, going to the movies, listening to music in the car (bass!!) and eating food. It makes life so good. Im not depressed, i dont NEED it.. but.. its awesome

dddank · 09-11-2005, 04:48 AM

i smoke because it gives you a deeper understanding of everything............

also as a sense enhancer (food, music, colors)

Super Mofo Guy · 09-11-2005, 05:40 AM

I can't awnser all of those questions.. I'm gonna crash soon, but I'll try to sum up how I feel about this.

I used to wonder these same things... when I was in high school and everyone else would go off and get high and do off-topics, etc.

The reasons you put up for why people do drugs I really don't agree with.. from my point of view there are only two reasons people do drugs:

1. Because we're addicted
2. Because we want to

Now thankfully #1 doesn't apply to weed so I'm just gonna say briefly that there are other drugs out there that are extremely addictive and it's generally a terrible idea to do em at all. From what I've noticed with others they force themselves into a major role in thier lives without really adding anything.

Now on to the more interesting one, #2. I only do weed because I want to -- same for anyone else who does it. The reasons we want to do it are so varied that I'm not even gonna try to explain them all.. a few major ones I can think of are, however: We want to look a certain way to please certain people, we like the things that happen after we do it, etc. I personally do it because I geniunely believe that intoxication adds something to my life that simply wouldn't be there otherwise. I smoke weed because it is the safest, and smartest overall way to do this. It's that simple. No deep philosophical reason: in moderation it adds something and takes away nothing... sweet deal imo, and I'm sticking to it. Instead of smoking I could do a lot of things.. I'd probably end up playing video games or watching TV or talking on internet forums all day like a lot of other people do when they have nothing better to do... but I enjoy getting high more.

So basically thats what it comes down to... we do it cause we want to and because theres nothing better to do. And lets be honest.. weed is amazing its one of there really great things out there but there are things I'd rather do... like that really hot chick from my sociology class or sing in a rock band or become a famous politician... but in reality none of that is happening right now so... I smoke instead of just jerk off in some other way. And I'm glad for weed its an awesome thing. Its a pretty sweet deal when you think about it, its one of the not so little things that just make life so fun to live. A truly happy life to me seems one of not only excellence but also enjoyment... all work and no play makes Jack a suicidal son of a b****.

As for the crying and being dead already, do you have depression perhaps?
I bet you do have it.. it seems to lead me to the asking of these 'deep' questions and then asserting that everything is pointless. I'd recommend you see a psychologist as soon as you can and check out some anti-depressants.. those are another thing I'm really glad to have around: absolutely no drawback and they make life so, so much more enjoyable. Even if you don't like talking to a therapist.. just deal with him at least once to get the meds.. those are a sweet deal.

Ditch the 'you can't kill me I'm allready dead' mentality for 'whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger' I like that one a lot more, and its also more realistic and more useful.

In the meantime tho I think the reason you posted this thread is how you feel about your drug use. If using drugs really does make you cry or feel borderline suicidal, why take em? I'd recommend you take a break until you can make a rebound -- it's not smart to add potentially unstable things like drugs or romance when you aren't feeling to firm on your feet anyways.

Just chill of em a bit till you get stuff sorted out... I've noticed that most things have a whole new life going back to them after a short break anyways. Whatever you do... don't do drugs to fill a hole in your life... I've watched people do it and the results are not satisfactory at all.

ACiD · 09-11-2005, 02:36 PM

Because, Marijuana is like wheaties. The breakfast of a champion!

Bx4Lyfe_2005 · 09-11-2005, 04:21 PM

Listen here, Blondie...I read this and I can feel where you're coming from. You're not dead inside, you just don't know how to express your love of life.

I will say this, not to analize you, but to someone whos BTDT...Hell, I'm still there. You do suffer from depression, that much is clear...and so do I.

I've been diagnosed with it since, 11 or so. Definatly started after the Puberty Bus Line decided to make me a feature on it's route. The dark moods, light sensitivity, looking at people and feeling like an outsider...not knowing where you fit in the grand scheme of things. Like i said, been there, done that. Still am in fact, but not as much as before.

I will say this: in all that time, i never took any prescribed meds...not one. I drank beer, but never overdid it, when I was 14. And I went to
therapy & sessions for over a year and a half. Same thing, all I did was talk, but I didn't say everything, because I didn't feel it would help, and the way I was raised, family problems stay in-house...they wern't for public consumption...not even to save myself.

There were days...weeks when I was in such dark moods and feelings, I felt NOTHING, no compassion, empathy, nada. I had friends, and they kinda understood where I was, but they were as scared OF me (i felt) as they were FOR me. Once in electronics class I accidently got cut from a breadboard pretty bad because the teacher snatched it out of my hand...right across the palm. I didn't yell, or curse, didn't even blink hard. Suffice to say, the teacher got himself transferred because he figured I was borderline, and was going to rip his heart out...thought didn't even cross my mind...lol

I will tell you, for you, yourself you are going through some bad times, but you aren't without hope. You say you don't feel, but you do...you cry and crying, even for a little while, is theraputic. You're more afraid of dying than living? Thats good, that means you FEEL you have more to offer the world, you just don't know how yet.

Yes, living is hard. Being who you are, and trying to find the person you want to be is some of the hardest thing you will do...but you will do it, I can feel it.

Some of the best ways to get out of the moods like that I found was to keep myself mentally active...read, mathmatics, science. Meditation even. All these things help find yourself, deal with who you are, and make peace with it. You don't want to kill it off, a person isn't whole without thier darkside. But you can put that person in thier place, let them know that YOU are running the show.

Its not easy, and its a lifelong task...but it's worked for me...and I still do it. After awhile it becomes 2nd nature, and the spells, when they come (for me they still do) you'll be able to handle without taking anything for it. If you still decide to take MJ or whatever thats free will, but at least that will will be your own, and not something else.

SkyTripper · 09-12-2005, 03:46 AM

I agree with TokeTilYouChoke and Byte4lyfe or ?

Everyone has their personal reasons for all the decisions they make in life.....including whether or not they choose to start using drugs or living the lifestyle that goes with it.
A lot of the choices which we all make at an early age in life will continue to shape our individuality, opinions, beliefs and character later on in life and quite likely, throughout our existence.
There are basically two types of personalities and one of them is a category which if you fall in.....are more likely than the other to be risk takers.
Type A and Type B personalities:
This category is one which you are far more likely to find those who are more likely to do drugs......possibly to extremes in type and amount as well as the same group consisting of those who might enjoy things like skydiving, bungee jumping, mountainclimbing, etc.
Then there is the other group of personality types who feel far more comfortable in not taking very many risks and would rather play it safe in all of their decisions and choices in life.
So, to me this life basically consists of two types of people........the DOer's and the WATCHERS and the watchers......watch us do our thing and many of them are just appalled by what we often DO.
And we DOer's.....watch them pursue the "American Dream" by chasing after money through greed or their desire to obtain as much possessions as they can, be workaholics or ?........as well as live their lives basically judging us or enacting various forms of rules/laws/punishment for not conforming to their ideology....or just not understanding WHY we are the way we are and treating such personality types as though we have a problem.
The DOer's are more likely to enjoy living in the NOW.......the WATCHERS......enjoy structure, routine and achieving goals in a methodical, carefully planned, organized effort at accomplishment in achieving those long-term goals.....and are rewarded by satisfactions they get at a different pace of time than the DOer's.....who desire gratification more frequently, much sooner and through acts of impulse and little or no planning.
I personally, do not believe how anyone in this life can honestly say they are truly happy with every aspect of their life though many people sure try their hardest to convince as many people as possible that they are.
It seems that EVERYONE.....in their own way......has some form of an emptiness or void in their life that they try to fill or escape from by any means possible. If its not a drug that helps to fill the void.....often it is something else.
Besides, I also believe it to be human nature to explore or attempt at attaining as much knowledge of everything around us, above us and beyond that explains why mankind always feels the need to go further in exploration......most notably now with space exploration. This is also true with the human mind and whatever can tap into the farthest realms of the human psyche.....thus explaining our inate desire to learn and seek further boundaries of what lies in our brain.....and our existence overall.
As far as your personal feelings of yourself, Blondie420.........You definitely seem to be experiencing depression and possibly need to seek some therapy for it.
I too, have gone through severe depression and to a degree I believe it is normal and exasperated by many of the events going on in this world and the environment around us. On top of that, a feeling of impending doom often pervades as well as the realization that the end of this world could happen at anytime or it often seems that we as a planet are heading for some form of self-destruction, which can easily contribute to depression and a feeling of "what's the use anyway?" Not to mention....ALL of our thoughts of our memories of years gone by.....who we were, who we are now and who will we become or how long we will even exist?
The passage of time is the only thing that can either help you or further your feelings of isolation, fear, anger, resentments.......or give you a new sense of hope and optimism.
Everything continuously changes.....as it is called progress and part of human evolution. Make the best of the life you have and roll WITH the changes and you will likely begin to feel better as time goes by.
Fully ACCEPT what it all is and your identity and place here on Earth.......once you do and let things just go and the past rest in peace......you got it made. Each of us is here for some reason, IMO.......even if we will probably never truly know what that reason is.
PEACE.

mjharmless · 09-19-2005, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondie0420

I don't know if you guys ever think about things like this, but, I'm quite philosophical, at times, when stoned, so bear with me. (This is long, but, hopefully, will inspire you to consider any questions you have.)

I guess the overall question I'm exploring here tonight is: why do you get high? Meaning, for what reasons besides "I just like the feeling" do you choose to get high?

I've thought about this a lot, and so I've come up with three main possibilities, which are in bold, and each of which I've explored quite deeply:

Note that when I reference "drugs" or "drug use" or "getting high" I don't mean to bring up discussion about off-topic drugs, I just mean, that for whatever "drug use" means for you, whether it be smoking pot, doing whatever drugs you can find, or any combination or possibility of those things that is possible - you should apply your own meaning to those things. So, when you're reading this, and I ask questions like "Why do you choose to get high," you should interpret that in a way that is personal to you only in your specific situation. For one person, "drug use" could mean smoking pot only on the weekends, but for another "drug use" could mean constantly using whatever they can find - so, two different people will almost certainly interpret these questions and ideas as two different things.

I suppose what I mean is: interpret this in many ways and explore the possibilities in each argument.

So, here goes:

The three possible answers to the question: Why do you get high:

1. Something is missing from your life.

I think the category I fall under would be this one. Somewhere along the line, I never fully became happy in life, or alternatively, I'm not happy yet, and so I use drugs to fill in whatever gaps are there, whether those gaps be real or imagined.

A lot of the people that I know whom I would consider to have "drug problems" fall under this category as well. Meaning, they aren't going anywhere with their lives, they are working dead end jobs, they're living what should be the 'best years' of their lives without doing anything that means anything. I suppose, I've always thought that being mediocre means being unhappy. And if you're unhappy and you're using drugs, is the unhappiness meant to fill in the holes?

And if not, are the holes there because you use drugs? Maybe your life was perfect, and now you're using drugs, and as a result of that, you're unhappy.

In summation, if you accepted the possibility of a theory existing to say that drug use is associated with the possibility that something is missing from your life, then one of two things must be true:
- Either you're unhappy because you're on drugs,
- Or, you're on drugs because you're unhappy.

But, perhaps, nothing is missing from your life. Which brings me to the second reason why someone would or could choose to get high:

2. Something isn't missing from your life.

Maybe you're life is perfect. It's quite possible that you're the opposite of mediocre, that you're perfectly happy, that you're perfectly sane.

If that's true, what the heck gives you the right to get high?

Isn't the rest of the world happy without using drugs? If 50% of the population was 100% happy, why aren't all of them using drugs? If they are using drugs, then what reason do they have to do it? Meaning, if they're happy, why do they need drugs?

Shouldn't you choose softball or painting as a better hobby? If nothing is missing from your life, why don't you say 'no' to drugs, and choose skiing instead? Wouldn't you rather be spending time with your family? Wouldn't you rather be doing anything?

Wouldn't you do better in school, or at your job, if you didn't use drugs? If nothing is missing, why would you accept the fact that you don't work as hard when you're high? Maybe you work harder, and that's why you use drugs? Maybe you work just the same whether you're on drugs or not, and if that's true, why even bother being on them in the first place?

What about the law?

Consider this: If you're perfectly happy, perhaps you choose to get high because you don't see anything wrong in doing it. And if that's true, is it ok to break the laws? Are you better than everyone else because you have the power, the knowledge, the certainty, to know that there is nothing wrong with using drugs? What about everyone who thinks that drugs should be illegal, are they all wrong?

If those people aren't wrong (and the laws are right), what gives you the right to break the laws? Shouldn't you expect that if the laws are just, that justice should be served? Do you honestly believe that you should be arrested? Could you convince someone else that you should, or should not, be arrested? What arguments would you use to make your point? What facts would you leave out of your argument?

But, conversely, if the laws are in fact wrong, and it should be ok to use drugs, does that still make it ok? What about all of the things that you've done in the past either: to obtain drugs; to traffic drugs; while using drugs; or in relation to drug use in general? Have all of those things been ok? Didn't you break other laws many times? Are all of those laws wrong too?

Perhaps, there is no clear right and wrong. Maybe if you do bad or unlawful things without getting caught, perhaps those things don't matter.

Finally, my third possibility:

3. Everything means nothing.

Isn't is possible that mankind's concept of "right" and "wrong" is all imagined? Maybe there is no God. Maybe there is no judgement day. Maybe there is no kharma, or Buddah, or fair and unfair, maybe there are no rights and responsibilities, maybe there is no justice, maybe there is no liberty or freedom.

Perhaps, in the end, once you're dead and buried and everyone you know and everyone who knew you, once they're all dead and buried, maybe then it'll be like none of this ever happened. Maybe a thousand years from now, no one will know, or care, or think, or believe, or understand that we've once been here and that we've used drugs.

Maybe you use drugs because you use drugs. Maybe you break the laws because you break them. Isn't it possible that there is no reason for anything? Maybe everything around you is imagined as part of one huge stellar circumstance. Maybe God is imagining you. Maybe you are a figment of your own imgaination, or someone else's. Maybe your whole life has been a dream. Maybe everything you've seen, and done, and felt, and touched, and heard - maybe all of those things were never there.

Or if they were there, maybe it didn't and doesn't matter anyway. Maybe nothing matters, not to anyone, not to anything, not to you.

So, in conclusion, here's about a million questions to think about...

Are you using drugs because something is missing from your life? Is something missing from your life because you use drugs? Is it purely coincidental that something is missing from your life and you use drugs? Do you use drugs because you think you're some sort of rogue liberal, able to influence change one hit at a time, toward uniting people in recreational drug use? Do you think drugs are a safe, fun 'sport?' Is drug use a hobby, like painting or basketball? Is it a group activity that makes you closer to your friends, family, or love interest? Does drug use make you more sociable, or less? Maybe drug use doesn't have any effect on you whatsoever?

Maybe drug use makes you a better person, or maybe it makes you smarter, or happier, or healthier, or more attractive? Maybe drug use makes you fatter, uglier, boring, stupid, or dull? Maybe getting high brings out the real you, and if that's true, should you get high all the time?

What is the definition of acceptable and nonacceptable drug use? Is there such a thing as either? Is there a threshold for acceptable drug use? If so, what happens when you cross it? If anything happens when you cross it, does the same thing happen to everyone? Is a certain level of drug use acceptable for one person, but not for another. Conversely, is there a level of drug use that works for everyone? Maybe no drug use works for no one? Maybe lots of drug use works for everyone?

Does getting high feel the same for everyone? Could you ever fully understand or experience the same high twice? Could you ever fully understand or experience the same high as another person? Is being high an imagined feeling? Is being high an emotion, or a state of being? Could that vary between different circumstances or different people?

Is being high a good thing for anyone? How about everyone else? Does using drugs make you a bad person? Does it make you a good person? Should you get high for a reason, or, for no reason at all (e.g., "I just feel like it.")? Should getting high make your life better or worse? Or, should it not influence your life at all?

Is getting high an acceptable way to experience reality? Is it an acceptable way to experience: emotions, life, love, happiness, sadness, etc.? Would you regret a life without and drugs in it? Would you be happier if you didn't use drugs? Would you be happier if you used more? Would it matter?

Should you influence drug use in others? Is it even possible to do so? Have you been influenced by others? Are you addicted? Whether psychological or physiological, is addiction even possible? Can you be cured? Would you be addicted forever? Could you not be addicted, but still use drugs? Could you recover from addiction and then safely experience any type of high again, whether intentional, or imagined, or unintentional, or unknowingly?

Is it ok to give drugs to others? Is it ok to do so without their knowledge (e.g., slipping into drink, or combining with cooked or uncooked food)? Is it ok to accept drugs from others?

Is it more or less moral to grow, make, or provide your own drugs? Is it ok to use an over-the-counter supplement, material, or substance in a way other than originally intended by the manufacturer? Are some drugs worse than others? Are 'legal' drugs better than 'illegal' drugs? Should any drugs be legal? Should all drugs be illegal? What about tobacco, alcohol, or caffine? Could substances other than drugs still cause addiction (e.g., chocolate)? Is it easier to conquer an addiction to a legal drug? Can you justify your drug use by saying that you "suffer" from drug addiction? Would getting addicted in the first place be your fault? Are certain people meant or predestined to become addicted?

If God has a plan for everyone, and his plan for you is to use drugs, is it then ok? If God's plan was for you to die of a drug overdose, should you be blamed for your initial drug use? Should you go to heaven if you OD? Should you go to hell? Is there a God? Is there a heaven or hell? If there isn't, is drug use then ok? Or, is it then not ok?

If nothing matters, should you be blamed for your actions? If you believe in destiny, were you predestined to use drugs? Is there no such thing as destiny? Is there any such thing as luck? Are you lucky to be using drugs, or does that make you unlucky? Did you choose to end up this way? Or, did someone, somewhere, choose it for you? Maybe there are no choices?

My apologies if anyone found this to be excessively long, boring, offensive, or stupid... But, these are things I think about a lot. Feel free to argue, debate, correct me or question me.

WOW!
You really seem like your on the fence and dont know which side to go here.
For me although I dont really condone breaking the law I dont believe smoking is harmful other than it is illegal and no I dont believe that makes me above the law.
I have put a lot of thought into this for my kids as I want to set a good example without being to hypocritcal.
I have told them that between now and the time they graduate to read as much about it as possible and if they choose then we can sit down and smoke if they feel strongly about it.
I know that they will probably smoke before then but as a parent I compare it to alcholol and try to get them to wait for a more mature age so they can make a more educated decision.
It amazes me that as an adult legally I can drive down to the local bar and drink a 12 pack,risk killing sombody and myself but to smoke and maybe raid my fridge can get me arrested.
as for why I get high I guess there is a certain amount of escapism I like to get high at the end of a hard day and it makes me feel less fatiged or maybe when I have what I call braindead work like mowing the lawn or doing laundry ect. then I will burn

I dont know if I gave you a good response because of both sides in your post but I asked myself alot of those questions in the past and wanted to reply with some of my thoughts
thanks

GanjaGirl420 · 09-19-2005, 10:07 PM

I smoke pot cuz I use ot to relax. before i smoked pot i woul be really tence and moody all the time, and now im totally fine. i also smoke it cuz I think im addicted... tho everyone says its not addicted. if its not addictive then why do I feel extreamly depressed/moody when I run out of stash?

09-12-2005, 03:46 AM	#18
SkyTripper Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 327 Grams: 1,760.95 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I agree with TokeTilYouChoke and Byte4lyfe or ? Everyone has their personal reasons for all the decisions they make in life.....including whether or not they choose to start using drugs or living the lifestyle that goes with it. A lot of the choices which we all make at an early age in life will continue to shape our individuality, opinions, beliefs and character later on in life and quite likely, throughout our existence. There are basically two types of personalities and one of them is a category which if you fall in.....are more likely than the other to be risk takers. Type A and Type B personalities: This category is one which you are far more likely to find those who are more likely to do drugs......possibly to extremes in type and amount as well as the same group consisting of those who might enjoy things like skydiving, bungee jumping, mountainclimbing, etc. Then there is the other group of personality types who feel far more comfortable in not taking very many risks and would rather play it safe in all of their decisions and choices in life. So, to me this life basically consists of two types of people........the DOer's and the WATCHERS and the watchers......watch us do our thing and many of them are just appalled by what we often DO. And we DOer's.....watch them pursue the "American Dream" by chasing after money through greed or their desire to obtain as much possessions as they can, be workaholics or ?........as well as live their lives basically judging us or enacting various forms of rules/laws/punishment for not conforming to their ideology....or just not understanding WHY we are the way we are and treating such personality types as though we have a problem. The DOer's are more likely to enjoy living in the NOW.......the WATCHERS......enjoy structure, routine and achieving goals in a methodical, carefully planned, organized effort at accomplishment in achieving those long-term goals.....and are rewarded by satisfactions they get at a different pace of time than the DOer's.....who desire gratification more frequently, much sooner and through acts of impulse and little or no planning. I personally, do not believe how anyone in this life can honestly say they are truly happy with every aspect of their life though many people sure try their hardest to convince as many people as possible that they are. It seems that EVERYONE.....in their own way......has some form of an emptiness or void in their life that they try to fill or escape from by any means possible. If its not a drug that helps to fill the void.....often it is something else. Besides, I also believe it to be human nature to explore or attempt at attaining as much knowledge of everything around us, above us and beyond that explains why mankind always feels the need to go further in exploration......most notably now with space exploration. This is also true with the human mind and whatever can tap into the farthest realms of the human psyche.....thus explaining our inate desire to learn and seek further boundaries of what lies in our brain.....and our existence overall. As far as your personal feelings of yourself, Blondie420.........You definitely seem to be experiencing depression and possibly need to seek some therapy for it. I too, have gone through severe depression and to a degree I believe it is normal and exasperated by many of the events going on in this world and the environment around us. On top of that, a feeling of impending doom often pervades as well as the realization that the end of this world could happen at anytime or it often seems that we as a planet are heading for some form of self-destruction, which can easily contribute to depression and a feeling of "what's the use anyway?" Not to mention....ALL of our thoughts of our memories of years gone by.....who we were, who we are now and who will we become or how long we will even exist? The passage of time is the only thing that can either help you or further your feelings of isolation, fear, anger, resentments.......or give you a new sense of hope and optimism. Everything continuously changes.....as it is called progress and part of human evolution. Make the best of the life you have and roll WITH the changes and you will likely begin to feel better as time goes by. Fully ACCEPT what it all is and your identity and place here on Earth.......once you do and let things just go and the past rest in peace......you got it made. Each of us is here for some reason, IMO.......even if we will probably never truly know what that reason is. PEACE. __________________ SkyTripper

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09-10-2005, 05:58 PM	#11
Bx4Lyfe_2005 Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 791 Grams: 2,482.15 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 5 Thanked 32 Times in 15 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I sat down and read this post 2x, because it really does invite some insight into yourself...nothing i havent done already, but it was refreshing in some ways to see someone else with the same thoughts. There are going to be many factors in this...peer pressure, curiousity, family history of substance abuse...the whole gamut of possiblites. Even something as mundane as age and local will be a contributing factor. I will try to keep the focus to smoking, because, well hell, thats what the forum is for! I am without a doubt a straight-laced person...I have NEVER touched anything other that alcohol when I was younger, and I am proud of that. I still drink, in social moderation to this day. I did not start smoking until I was (dont laugh) 25. Why? Half Peer Pressure (sort of, the woman I was dating for over a year was into it, and she wanted to share, lol) and by that time I was curious about it enough to try it. And lets face it, smoking is as cheap a "starter habit" as you were going to get in relation to the other crazy s**t thats out there. I tried it, I liked it, and have been doing it since. WIll I stop, or can I? Yes, but I wont for now, because I like it, and I dont do it enough to worry about it. Do I know its wrong/illegal? Hell yeah, which is why I am so careful. I have NO need to have THAT pop up on a offical record somewhere, working in the private sector or not. I may want to cross over to the public sector, and I dont want that to follow me. Do I regret not trying it younger? Thats a rough question, because I dont believe that every young person can handle it..yes I know alot of you are going "But I CAN, and have.." but thats just my opinion. Drinking, smoking...theres plenty of time to try this stuff once you hit 18...dont be in a rush to be grown up; believe me, age will find you no matter what, and running towards it is just going to leave you tired and out of breath, no shape to handle the real serious stuff. I don't mean to come on like a old fart, but it's just my POV. I dont regret waiting until I was older. I hope that if you are doing it now, and you are underage, you are mature enough to handle the fun & responsiblity that goes hand in hand with it. I especially hope that you understand the consequences that are around it, legal and otherwise.

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09-11-2005, 04:20 AM	#13
theculture Jr. Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 166 Grams: 969.20 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Sorry I didnt read that huge wall of text.. but.. GOOD question I get high because I have a GREAT time 90% of the time I do it. It makes everything better, going to the movies, listening to music in the car (bass!!) and eating food. It makes life so good. Im not depressed, i dont NEED it.. but.. its awesome

09-11-2005, 04:48 AM	#14
dddank New Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 18 Grams: 668.20 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	i smoke because it gives you a deeper understanding of everything............ also as a sense enhancer (food, music, colors)

09-11-2005, 05:40 AM	#15
Super Mofo Guy New Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6 Grams: 665.55 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I can't awnser all of those questions.. I'm gonna crash soon, but I'll try to sum up how I feel about this. I used to wonder these same things... when I was in high school and everyone else would go off and get high and do off-topics, etc. The reasons you put up for why people do drugs I really don't agree with.. from my point of view there are only two reasons people do drugs: 1. Because we're addicted 2. Because we want to Now thankfully #1 doesn't apply to weed so I'm just gonna say briefly that there are other drugs out there that are extremely addictive and it's generally a terrible idea to do em at all. From what I've noticed with others they force themselves into a major role in thier lives without really adding anything. Now on to the more interesting one, #2. I only do weed because I want to -- same for anyone else who does it. The reasons we want to do it are so varied that I'm not even gonna try to explain them all.. a few major ones I can think of are, however: We want to look a certain way to please certain people, we like the things that happen after we do it, etc. I personally do it because I geniunely believe that intoxication adds something to my life that simply wouldn't be there otherwise. I smoke weed because it is the safest, and smartest overall way to do this. It's that simple. No deep philosophical reason: in moderation it adds something and takes away nothing... sweet deal imo, and I'm sticking to it. Instead of smoking I could do a lot of things.. I'd probably end up playing video games or watching TV or talking on internet forums all day like a lot of other people do when they have nothing better to do... but I enjoy getting high more. So basically thats what it comes down to... we do it cause we want to and because theres nothing better to do. And lets be honest.. weed is amazing its one of there really great things out there but there are things I'd rather do... like that really hot chick from my sociology class or sing in a rock band or become a famous politician... but in reality none of that is happening right now so... I smoke instead of just jerk off in some other way. And I'm glad for weed its an awesome thing. Its a pretty sweet deal when you think about it, its one of the not so little things that just make life so fun to live. A truly happy life to me seems one of not only excellence but also enjoyment... all work and no play makes Jack a suicidal son of a b****. As for the crying and being dead already, do you have depression perhaps? I bet you do have it.. it seems to lead me to the asking of these 'deep' questions and then asserting that everything is pointless. I'd recommend you see a psychologist as soon as you can and check out some anti-depressants.. those are another thing I'm really glad to have around: absolutely no drawback and they make life so, so much more enjoyable. Even if you don't like talking to a therapist.. just deal with him at least once to get the meds.. those are a sweet deal. Ditch the 'you can't kill me I'm allready dead' mentality for 'whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger' I like that one a lot more, and its also more realistic and more useful. In the meantime tho I think the reason you posted this thread is how you feel about your drug use. If using drugs really does make you cry or feel borderline suicidal, why take em? I'd recommend you take a break until you can make a rebound -- it's not smart to add potentially unstable things like drugs or romance when you aren't feeling to firm on your feet anyways. Just chill of em a bit till you get stuff sorted out... I've noticed that most things have a whole new life going back to them after a short break anyways. Whatever you do... don't do drugs to fill a hole in your life... I've watched people do it and the results are not satisfactory at all.

09-11-2005, 02:36 PM	#16
ACiD New Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 28 Grams: 897.85 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Because, Marijuana is like wheaties. The breakfast of a champion!

09-11-2005, 04:21 PM	#17
Bx4Lyfe_2005 Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 791 Grams: 2,482.15 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 5 Thanked 32 Times in 15 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	Listen here, Blondie...I read this and I can feel where you're coming from. You're not dead inside, you just don't know how to express your love of life. I will say this, not to analize you, but to someone whos BTDT...Hell, I'm still there. You do suffer from depression, that much is clear...and so do I. I've been diagnosed with it since, 11 or so. Definatly started after the Puberty Bus Line decided to make me a feature on it's route. The dark moods, light sensitivity, looking at people and feeling like an outsider...not knowing where you fit in the grand scheme of things. Like i said, been there, done that. Still am in fact, but not as much as before. I will say this: in all that time, i never took any prescribed meds...not one. I drank beer, but never overdid it, when I was 14. And I went to therapy & sessions for over a year and a half. Same thing, all I did was talk, but I didn't say everything, because I didn't feel it would help, and the way I was raised, family problems stay in-house...they wern't for public consumption...not even to save myself. There were days...weeks when I was in such dark moods and feelings, I felt NOTHING, no compassion, empathy, nada. I had friends, and they kinda understood where I was, but they were as scared OF me (i felt) as they were FOR me. Once in electronics class I accidently got cut from a breadboard pretty bad because the teacher snatched it out of my hand...right across the palm. I didn't yell, or curse, didn't even blink hard. Suffice to say, the teacher got himself transferred because he figured I was borderline, and was going to rip his heart out...thought didn't even cross my mind...lol I will tell you, for you, yourself you are going through some bad times, but you aren't without hope. You say you don't feel, but you do...you cry and crying, even for a little while, is theraputic. You're more afraid of dying than living? Thats good, that means you FEEL you have more to offer the world, you just don't know how yet. Yes, living is hard. Being who you are, and trying to find the person you want to be is some of the hardest thing you will do...but you will do it, I can feel it. Some of the best ways to get out of the moods like that I found was to keep myself mentally active...read, mathmatics, science. Meditation even. All these things help find yourself, deal with who you are, and make peace with it. You don't want to kill it off, a person isn't whole without thier darkside. But you can put that person in thier place, let them know that YOU are running the show. Its not easy, and its a lifelong task...but it's worked for me...and I still do it. After awhile it becomes 2nd nature, and the spells, when they come (for me they still do) you'll be able to handle without taking anything for it. If you still decide to take MJ or whatever thats free will, but at least that will will be your own, and not something else.

09-19-2005, 10:07 PM	#20
GanjaGirl420 Banned Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 980 Grams: 236.45 Groans: 0 Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Stock Portfolio Total Value: 0.000 Gain/Loss: 0.000%	I smoke pot cuz I use ot to relax. before i smoked pot i woul be really tence and moody all the time, and now im totally fine. i also smoke it cuz I think im addicted... tho everyone says its not addicted. if its not addictive then why do I feel extreamly depressed/moody when I run out of stash?

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