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voltion

yes another sexually orientated thread but this has a sort of serious theme to it (well not really but ya know )

ladies: have you ever faked an orgasm because the dick was shit, you reliased you wern't attracted the fat cunt on top of you as you sobered up mid sex or whatever reason you would feel the need to fake it for.

fellas: have you ever faked busting a nut because the pussy felt like you were throwing a hot dog down a hallway, you were borderline passing out from sea sickness, the football game was about to start or you just got tired?

be honest with your answers, some pussy/dick just doesn't work for you.

also do you think that faking it is wrong? how exactly do you go about telling a girl her pussy feel like a blackhole without hurting her feelings? have you ever caught a faker?

me personally i have, it was in the Euro 2004 cup, it was the weekend and in true tradition i had knocked back a few sherberts and bought back this girl from the pub. we got at it but i had some cheap condom on, i couldn't feel shit so 10 mins before the england game started. i pretended

now that i put my shit out there, share your stories & views.

 

imported_Lebowski4Prez

I have never been in a situation where I had to fake it because the chicks I get with are all around my age (19) and have never had worn out jam...also never got so fucked up that I fucked a chick with my beer goggles on and I don't plan too...

Also I think the phrase "it was like fucking a jar of mayo" is more funny than the hotdog comment...just a thought

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Life's Pretty Fucked Up Right NowShouldn't I Be

voltion

woah man keep that shit between you & the Hellmann's Light Mayo, i hope to god you don't eat that after you do your dirty deeds.

aight maybe it's funnier but this is a serious thread.

would you prefer someone to pretend they reached the big O, to make an excuse "oh shit i just remembered i left my house on fire" or to just tell you straight you are shit in bed?

Hashishi

shit man, if i'm that far gone i'm more than content to just pass out on top of her and let her roll me over and tuck me in as soon as she realises what's going on. (...or what's not.)

and dude, seriously: stop reading your sister's magazines. you can get locked up for that shit.

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<Taki> I swear I just took a dump with well defined anatomical features

<Taki> a long smooth tail and a bunch of little hardened pellets making up a complex head

<Taki> I didn't want to flush it, it's probably the closest thing I'll have to a son

<bryant> I think in the 3 days I've seen you in this channel you've done a better job keeping me in school and off drugs than every authority figure I've met in my entire life.

<Taki> I do what I can

voltion

so let's say you're sober then, the pussy smells like last nights left over curry and all you can concentrate on is the blubber making waves over her body (i can't think of a reason why you'd be fucking her but lets say u were) would you prefer to just tell her she's ain't doing anything for you or just fake it?

and i don't read my fucking sisters magazines you bastard...

i barely even skim em

 

TMG

I'm going to go with "oh shit my house is on fire " and bolt. Bad sex (for a girl) is like sinking in quicksand, you can't worry about being polite you just have to gtfo. (jp )

That's what I would do if I were ever to sleep with another person. I've only slept with one guy. And I have no problems letting him know what I like and don't like. I'm very vocal and a little demanding.

Dark

voltion u must b the horniest bastard around this site, lol.

And yes, I have faked it. Not that it was nasty or nething, but at this time I THOUGHT I was depressed, so I started to take some zoloft. Well, apparentely it has a reaction with your orgasms, and it makes it damn near impossible to have an orgasm for some people(and I was included in this group). I was going forever and not even comin close to a climax, so I was jus too fuckin exhausted to continue and faked it.

I stopped using the stuff after that experience. It wasn't fun at all, except she certainly enjoyed all of it, lol.

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Calico Jack

This is funny, I was just thinking about this. I have to fake it all the time. My g/f sucks in bed, so I am going to have to find a better piece of a$$.

voltion

damn man talk about blunt.

TMG

hahaha no. (to calico)

You're lucky she's even still with you, as nice as you treat her and all. If you were my boyfriend I'd kick your ass. (not being serious...)