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grillmeats

No and subbing is a great thought

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I use to like this site, but it out grew my interests. If you want to pass a test, Quit Smoking, I have!

 

wintermute79

Hello everyone! I am a new member here, but have been reading for a while. Last week, my husband scored a wonderful job...with the exception of the dreaded drug screen. Unfortunately (at least in this situation) we are daily smokers...and both of us are fairly rotund. The moment the job was brought up, we stopped smoking, knowing that this would be an uphill battle.

Like chemists, we have experimented with several dilution techniques, and neither of us could pass clean (I'm guessing because of our usage and size; we used the aspirin method to a T, XXClean per instructions). Because we were weary of the sub method we hadn't really considered it, but knowing he wouldn't pass with dilution, we realized it was our only option. We have read all of the replies in this thread, and it has given us LOADS of great info.

Today we ventured to Wal-Mart for our supplies (the actual sample will be coming from one of our friends). After seeing no bottles in the travel section that looked promising, we started to leave. And then I spotted it.

A twin pack of Fleet enemas, of the saline variety.

This glorious find was about $2.00 (you can Google "Fleet Enema" and find many places online to purchase and I am sure any drugstore will have these). Since each bottle holds approximately 4.5 ounces of fluid, it was perfect for a 60ml sample, plus extra if need be. The plastic of the bottle is very thin (but not so thin it will get a hole when squeezed) so it warms quickly with body heat, and has a straight tip with a lid (the tip comes lubricated, so rinse everything well before donating your “sample”). Once you have your sample ready in the bottle, you can squeeze all of the air out, and it makes a nice "dent" in the bottle, which contours to the nether regions! One of our favorite parts of this bottle is that it has a one way valve tip. This means that liquid can squirt out, but no air is sucked back in....so no weird noises from the bathroom at test time. Hubby has practiced several times so far, taking the lid off and squeezing the bottle is very easy and quick with a pair of boxer briefs and jeans on, and the flow sounds SO REALISTIC! He has been walking around and sitting for some time, and hasn't sprung any leaks or had any "migration" issues.

So, our plan is set, and we are both confident that this will go smoothly (and the panic has subsided!). He will be taking an eScreen test on Tuesday or Wednesday, and we should know the results fairly quickly. I will post back here to let everyone know how the rig went IRL.

I can't thank you all enough for all of your experiences on this board...it is very nice to have so many people sharing their knowledge.

Good luck everyone!

-wintermute

Sec

What a great tip. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed (and well written) description of your situation. Good luck with the test and yes, please let us know how it went.

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grillmeats

why not try quick fix 4.0.

CollegeBudz

"[ instead of shampoo bottles or glue bottles, i went to my local pharmacy and asked nicely for a couple suspension bottles (two 3 oz bottles, and one 12 oz). the bottles are sterile and shaped nicely to be put in the crotch region."

What are suspension bottles??

Also, it sounds to me like almost no labs have someone watch you while you piss, but I'm still paranoid that I'll show up and they'll have somebody watch me so I can't sub. does that ever happen???

 

FakeBoobsRule

Those amber colored see through bottles you get cough syrup and other liquids from a pharmacy when they pour from a bigger stock bottle to the smaller amber bottles you get. They are curved on one side and flat on the other.

If you are afraid someone will watch you, you can do both sub and dilute. If you can't use the sub then go with your own dilute urine.

CollegeBudz

OK.

yep, I've been planning to dilute until I realized I could probably sub just as easy. I have all the supplies to dilute and sub (aspirin, rolaids, gatorade, salt, a 2 oz bottle, first aid tape, 2 prs of boxerbriefs, thermometer) so I plan to have the bottle of clean stuff taped to my chode, but I'm prepared to piss if it turns out that I'm observed.

mochi

Hi, I just got hired and found out that I'm going to get a physical and a drug screen some time this week (not sure when, they're supposed to call me today to schedule). I've read most of this thread but I still have one question, is it okay for me (a girl) to use male urine? I know that it doesn't matter for just a drug screne but I heard that they test for other things in your pee if you are getting a physical and I'm not sure if those tests might show that the pee is not from a girl. Please respong ASAP! Thanks!

1tokeovertheline

If your male friend is clean, go ahead and use it, it doesn't matter. They test for drugs.

wintermute79

Hello Everyone!

I wanted to let you all know of the Husband’s experience with the substitution method. I had posted earlier about using the Fleet Enema bottles; and I am happy to report that it all went off without a hitch!

On test day, he wore two pair of the boxer briefs, under a pair of water/stain repelling khakis. I highly suggest that if you have a pair of these wonderful pants, you wear them for your test! We were slightly afraid of leaks, and these pants are great for confidence. The water just rolls off of them, so, even if you do spring a leak, you won’t look like you have an incontinence problem

As far as the actual bottle, he ended up wrapping a paper towel around the bottle, and then taping it. As he sat, stood up, walked around, feigned dropping his pen, etc, he did have some slight migration issues. The paper towel gave the bottle enough texture that it didn’t slip. Also, he used a small piece of electrical tape (made the least noise, and was easy to remove with one hand) around the cap. There were a few times in testing the rig that he would sit down, and the pressure on the bottle would pop the lid, and make it VERY easy to spill the contents. The tape again provided that “just in case” protection. Regarding the temperature, we warmed the sample to 104 degrees F, and then he crotched it. He gave his sample right at about 15 minutes later. The test they used for him was the eScreen test (links below), which is quite interesting. They give you a special cup called an “eCup”, you fill it, and then they put the cup under what looks like a coffee maker. There is a tube that is dropped down, and it measures the temperature first (I think it has a thermometer on the side of the cup; the tester said “temperature is perfect!”), and then does the rapid screen. Within about 2 minutes, the results are back, and sent directly to the employer. Basically, the Lab has no real interaction with the sample (outside of temp verification). The only time they do is if it tests positive, at which point it would be sent off for the dreaded scrutiny. His sample tested clean (confirmed by HR the next day), and he will be starting the new job on Monday!

I again thank everyone for sharing all of their information. Good luck to everyone!!
-wintermute

eScreen info: http://www.escreen.com/Page/products.html http://www.devicelink.com/expo/award...&action=Search
http://www.mcarverphoto.com/new2003/.../escreen2.html (actual pic of the eCup)