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needtopass420

yeah i was thinking, if i wasn't a pothead, i would never stand for something so invasive as a gyn exam for a city (museum) job. i mean that is just absolutely ridiculous.

so i am thinking and hoping that i am ok with my original plan of quick fixin it with the "crotch method."

oy. i am scared.

 

Sec

Why are you scared? What is the very worst that could happen? You don't get the job? There are other jobs. Sure, this is the perfect job, your dream job. There are many other cities and many other jobs out there.

Go in with confidence, do your best, and if you don't make it; so what! apply elsewhere. That is all you can do. It doesn't help to get stressed over something you can't control You do the best you can, the rest is out of your hands.

"the nervouser you are, the worser you'll do".

__________________
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--stoned--

Hi, I learned from my neighbours friend that he passes his urine tests with substitution. He said to get a bottle of glue big enough to hold enough pee, and keep it under your armpit for about 30 minutes at least. He passes his tests, using my neighbours pee.

I have to take an unsupervised test tomorrow. I wish I had learned about this website earlier, but still, I have 1 day to practice. Here is the entire situation, and will go hopefully as planned.

I have a urine test at a very prestigeous computer company, and I didn't know about a urine test until after my second interview when they had me sign the papers. I can get clean urine from my friend.

Q: Collection goes on at the company, so I guess they send the samples to the lab, in which case, how strict would you think they be on the temperature?

I will practice/test all day today, but I was planning on wearing a couple of pairs of tighty whities. Also placing some sort of (which one works best here?) heating patch (air activated or not?) on each lair of underwear, AND crotch the container for about 30 minutes while inside the facility. (which might be air conditioned, I don't know) I was also planning on using some heating pads around the bottle/container (I probably will use a 2 oz shampoo bottle or an empty one).

Here is the tricky part. I have more paperwork in (I can go in at my leisure) Building B, but after I do the paperwork, the test is in Building A which is a drive around a big parking lot. Also my car does not have an AC and gets really hot inside (retains the heat if I keep the windows up).

Also I have to dress up for this job.

Q: What is the maximum temperature that the heating pads will go upto?

Q: I was going to put a temp. strip on the outside of the bottle and crotch it for 30 minutes or more before I went in? Since the bottle is right next to my skin, will the temp. strip be accurate?

As you can see I am extremely paranoid. I cannot afford to lose this job.

Also they said that after I do my paperwork, I will go into building A, and take my drug screen, so hopefullly I won't have to wait too long.

As per my situation, I was thinking that since I can't carry any warm water or a mug or thermos, I need to do something about the heat. I am going to try and put the bottle on the hood of my car or some other really warm place on the car in the strong heat for a few minutes to warm it up, and the crotch it to let it adjust. What do you guys think about that?

Any ideas and advice concerning my situation would be very much appreciated.

Any other method of passing the test is out of the question. This is my last resort. I have read EVERY single page of this thread and spend all night reading the first thread over and over.

Thank you for your time guys. Peace.

EDIT: After I get done with the paperwork, and maybe use the car somehow to heat up the bottle, and I crotch it for a legnth of time WITH the warmers, it should retain the temperature right?

Sorry, but I am extremely worried

FakeBoobsRule

I have subbed many times and never had any trouble with the temp. I have been meaning to break down and buy a whizzinator but I just haven't yet for several reasons. I have used my friend's whizzinator and I have used cheap bottles before. When I use cheap bottles I use a digital cooking (meat) thermometer to get some water up to a temp of about 120 degrees and put the water in a small 6-pack size cooler (maybe a 4 pack really). In fact, I like to make sure after the water is added to the cooler that it is at 118 -120. During cooler months (which is really weeks in Fl) the cooler can drop the water temp when you add it into the cooler and I may have to add more or reheat some of the water. Then I let it come down to about 110 degrees before I put it in my pants. The temperature in the cooler is easy to regulate because it will drop very slowly if the lid is on and if I take the lid off it will go from 120 to 110 in under 10 minutes. Oddly, I keep an analog cooking thermometer in the cooler water bath to check the progress. The digital thermometer can't be submerged so I use the analog for that. Why even have a digital thermometer then? Because that way I have a reading from the digital right before the water goes into the cooler and then a reading from the analog thermometer when the water enters the cooler. This way I have two readings so if one of the thermometers break or loses its accuracy (which I doubt will ever happen) then I can tell.

I have never had to keep the bottle in my pants more than 45 minutes and it usually comes out at 98 degrees which is no sweat, even after 45 minutes. Hell sometimes if the parking lot is empty (shorter wait time) I sit in my car for a few minutes (3-7 minutes) after securing the bottle just to let it come down in temp a little without coming down too much. Once the bottle is at body temp your body should be able to keep it warm for at least an hour easily if not all day. If you are going to be wrong then be wrong on the high end because you can cool it off a couple of degrees during the 4 minutes of bathroom time you are allowed. Once or twice the collection site was quick and it has come out at 100 so I just set it on the toilet tank lid which can absorb heat quickly and swirl it gently and blow and it cools quickly. I bought some heat pads and never had the chance to use them because my girlfriend lost them and they hard to find in Florida! The ones I got said they heat up to a max of 122 degrees and give off heat for 8 hours. If it is your first time using heat pads you should definitely do some trial runs today because they might get too hot. If you get some turbo charged ones like those you would probably be best to activate them and then start using them 1-2 hours later. I always got the impression that the pads really were for heating up urine that started off well below body temperature. So if you take the sub urine from a heated water bath and place it in your pants you really have some time to work with, especially if you are going to use 2 pairs of underwear and with it being the middle of summer.

So my advice is depending on the time you will have in your car, go to the place with the cooler water bath filled with 120 degree water and keep your urine bottle it in; and just to be safe, I would still secure the bottle in your pants when you go into building B. It might be a trick. Then when you are driving around from B to A you can check the water temp in the cooler. If it is still above body temp you could give your urine a 5 minute heat boost. You could even goes as so far as to taking two coolers with you when you leave the house and making the second one 130 degrees or so and if you are in building B for a long time, you still have a warm booster water bath or even start mixing the water from the two coolers. If you do that though make sure you don't make a mess on yourself and always take a towel or paper towels with you. Do some practice today.

If you want to put them temp strip on the bottle then just face the side with the strip away from your body because that would give a more accurate reading of the liquid in the bottle then if it was pressed against your warm skin. This is a little different then the temp strip set up on the whizzinator but the set up on the whizzinator is different then a small bottle.

Lumen

Wow. I wish I had found this thread sooner. I have to take a test today for a job with Dell, the corporation that gave up their mediaboy because he tested positive. Could be the paranoia talking.

"Dude, you're gettin' a test"

Anyhow, I bought a bottle of QF and am test crotching it. (they gave me a days notice). I'm putting it where n2 told me (between the sac and the stink), and was wondering how well the heating pack that came with it works. How would I shake it to activate it and attach it to the bottle of QF? I don't want to put it on the side of the bottle with the temp strip attached for obvious reasons, and it states on the package "Do not apply directly to the skin". I can't put the strip next to my skin though because it will read false.

I also have the slight problem of how to get it out when I get there. I don't think I'll be observed but I do not want the bottle to be exposed to the air too long and lose it's temp. Plus it's hard to get out seeing as how I can't go out to get an ace bandage right now and the only things I have are two crazy wicked tight bananna hammocks that my girlfriend likes me to wear. I guess it's not so bad though. I'f I -am- observed, I'll look smashing.

I think I'm mostly just freakin' out about the whole thing. It's through an employment agency and not NASA.

Anyway Here's my Stats:

Age: 20
Height: 6-3
Weight: 125lbs. (quite thin w/high metabolism)
Smoke Habit: Chronic. Eight to as many as 20 medium sized bong bowls a day. At least an ounce a week. Non stop now for 2 months. Slight stops for almost 8 years.
Last consumption: 8:00 this morning. Probably now too, although that might be stupid. Of course I am probably screwed if it's a swab which it very well could be.
Test type: Unknown (Employment agency, Probably unsupervised urine)
Testing Time: 1:30 p.m. central today.
Currently: Stoned.

It would be really awful if I didn't get this job. I've been unemployed for over a year because of medical problems and this job will actually work around my medical situation. I'll update when I get back! Any thoughts or good vibes are more than needed!

 

Brendan15

So, if it was at 100-ish, it would stop cooling down at 94-98? And, would that work with a ziplock bag?

Would the heating up work the same with a ziplock bag?

__________________
I never lose grip like an octopus
Even when im runnin' from the constable
Getting scoped out with binoculars
They wanna see me in the tar like a dinosaur
The Mad Conductor

--stoned--

Here is my progress so far. All day I was unable to get anything done, but just an hour ago, I went to walgreens and walmart and got the following items:

1) 2.5oz (70~ml) hand sanitizer bottle with a screw on cap. Its more flat than round. Free due to the five finger discount.

2) Cura/Therma something or other air activated heat pads (I have not had the chance to use them yet, but just in case). $3.99

3) Digital thermometer which unfortunately beeps a lot even though the box never mentioned anything about beeping at all, so I then went and also got a temperature strip (it doesn't stick and you have to hold it, thats all they had) which works quite nicely. I just have to get used to reading it good.

All in all I spend 28~ dollars I should not have spent, but nothing else can guarantee a negative result so its worth the same amount of money or less than what other systems charge, and are not guranteed to work 100% of the time.

I took a sample of average temperature tap water and filled up the bottle (after properly cleaning it). I read the strip, no colors, I measures its temperature with the digital thermometer, and it wouldn't even register. Too cold right?

I then put on two pairs of really tight (smaller size than I normally wear boxers) bried underwear (tighty whities).

Then I put the bottle under my testicles in a comfortable position, and sat in the chair like I would be sitting at the testing site. The bottle is 2.5 oz and is very small so its not that bad, but once or twice I did press my testicles up against it quite hard and it was almost painful, but uncomfortable, but all in all, not too bad.

Then I just sat in the chair like that. I sometimes changed my position as if to seem normal at the testing place, like an average joe sitting an waiting, fidgeting. I sad for about 26-28 minutes.

I then took the temperatue of the water in the bottle and it was 97.4~. I forgot to test that one with the temperature strip.

I am now sitting on an even colder sample of water in the bottle, and its been about 20 minutes. I am going to now properly crotch it for the remainder of the 10-15 minutes. More than likely I will find that the temperature is at 97-98F.

What I'm thinking is this, that just to have the strip in my underwear because I can't take the thermometer with me, I will take the strip and use that in the bathroom at the testing site.

I am also going to go the safe road, and wear at least 1 if not 2 patches, wear 3-4 pairs of underwear or more, and warm the sample with a lighter or something before I go in the building.

I took a normal sample and heated the bottle with the lighter carefully making sure not to burn the plastic, but just enough, and I took the temperature and it was about 104F.

Now my question is, that if I take a warm sample with me, with the above mentioned 'precautionary/just to be on the safe side' procedures (extra undies etc.), and go in, and crotch it properly, and might have to wait say to be on the safe side 1 1/2 hours. How long will the urine retain its temperature in the bottle with this warm sample I took, about maybe even 110F to be on the real safe side? Approximately?

Also, how much temperature could one possibly lose during the transfer if done very quickly right after taking a piss or during taking a piss?

If N2 gets a chance, or if anyone else does, please post advice as I have my test tomorrow. I will recieve the urine from my clean friend at 6:00 am when he goes to work. I am thinking of going in the morning, as early as possible. Should I wait until it gets really hot outside, maybe until sometime before noon?

Sorry for the insanely long post and thank you guys very much.


EDIT: Ok I just now took the temperature of the sample with both the thermometer and the strip. The thermometer registers at 97.4~, same as last time. The strip is fully green (as per the directions) at the 98 line, and has a few brownish marks on 100-104 (which accoring to the strip is towards warmth on that line).

So now I am going to put on all the briefs I have and stick a patch or two on them. Then I will take another cold sample and put it in the magic place. Then I will let that get up to temperature and let the patches kick in after 1/2 hour as they say and crotch it for like 10-15 minutes properly to get it upto speed, and then take the temperature with the thermometer quickly, and then pour it in a plastic cup (which I don't have but I'll find something) and take the temperature again with a strip and thermometer and see how much heat it loses.

Lets see

I still would like some advice/words on my previous questions, thank you.

EDIT 2: I just took another test run and now I am on another one. I put on 7 pair of underwear which got a bit wierd but it wasn't bad. Just made the waisteband hard to pull since there were 7 undies. I then placed an air activated heating patch on the front/bottom of my balls where the bottle was to rest. I then waited for the patch to get heated up, it takes about 30 minutes. I then took another cool/average temperature tap water and filled the bottle and placed it in. I don't know if it would have made it warmer faster or not, but I still waited 30 more minutes to finally check it. I checked the temperature and it was about 102.

I then checked the sample with the thermometer and it was about 99.7~ish. I then used the top of my large/regular sized shaving cream (which is like a plastic cup anyway) which was at room temperature, and I poured the bottle in there. I took another reading with the digital thermometer and the temperature was about 97.1~F. I used the strip on it, and the strip still showed 100-102.

What reasons could there be for the strip showing a higher temp than thermometer? I mean I know the thermometer is more accuate, but what about the strip, which I will be using anyway. Or should I not use it at all and just trust the temperature? I am being paranoid more than likely right? I mean if its around 96-98 it should be okay right?

Please responsd guys, I'll check the forums in the morning again.

BTW, I am now conducting another test, this time with the patch wrapped around the bottle, with the bigger/thicker side of the patch away from my skin, in the same place as under my testicles. Its starting to feel pretty warm now, so lets see how long I can sit here and see if it gets too hot or not, because I might try the patch around the bottle.

Right now my setup is this:

7 pairs of boxers. $9
air activated heating pads. $4
2.5oz hand sanitizer bottle with screw on cap. $1-2
digital thermometer. $9
forehead temperature strip. $2-3

Total cost, approximately $30 with tax and variying prices. This is about the same amount of money other programs cost as well, and sometimes lots more, yet they are not 100% positive proof. They WILL fail. But substitution won't.

I am very nervous before I go, its in the morning, lets hope everything goes alright. I realize my post is getting insanely long now, I'll shut up now. Thanks guys for this great information.

Sec

Two things:
This disgusts me.

and--

use scotch tape to tape the temp strip to the bottle

--stoned--

Its not like I went to steal it. By the time I reached the car, I realized that while walking around I had put the bottle in my pocket without realizing it and forgot about it at the counter. where I spent 30 $, another 1$ wasn't a big deal.

EDIT: SUCCESS!!!! It went great. Now all I am worried about are the results. The subbing process went very very smoothly. Temp strip on the cup read between 96-98F. The lady was happy.

Now the problem I am facing is this. I used my roommates piss, and he hasn't done any drugs in years. In fact, he just recently passed a hair analysis for a job. He doesn't do drugs or smoke weed. But.. like maybe in the past two weeks, he has been around me like maybe twice for like 5-10 minutes in my room watching movies while I was smoking. Fan was blowing and the AC was on, but there was no ventilation in the room.

How much second hand smoke from weed do you need to injest/inhale in order to test positive?

He is very skinny, high metabolism, and he was literally around me smoking a blunt like once or twice in the past two weeks, and only came to hang out in my room for a few minutes. I might have smoked half a blunt in that time he was in my room.

I am hoping his piss is clean, because now I have nothing but time. The time spent worrying

Please give me some words. Thanks.

Lumen

Update!

I passed with flying colors! Apparently the employment agency hiring for dell uses quest diagnostics. The lady handed me my cup (Which was very oddly shaped and required some form of key once I was done) and I went inside and poured the stuff in. Came out, pushed the strange little key into the side of the bottle and voila! After checking the side and the temp (non-dot 5 panel, temp was 98-96) She said I was good to go and to pour it out and thrown the cup away.

Much ado about nothing.

QF is great stuff.