GotPurple

Ok this may be posted but I didn't see it and this worked for me. I am a male, and I can only help males unfortunately -

If you are going to substitute and know when they are going to test, you have 100% efficiency here. If it is for a probation test and they are staring at your member, ok you are screwed, but else wise keep reading.

If no one is in the room follow the N2 substitution method and don't worry about it.

If they are going to have to observe or if you are not sure, do this (even if you don't know when it is coming!) I have used a substitution sample that was 3 years old, synthetic of course, and still worn it every day for weeks just in case.

PRACTICE THIS. Practice every detail explained below. Have your girlfriend or a good friend stand behind you while you do this. Does that sound funny? Probably, but when it comes time to do it, you will feel more comfortable knowing you have practiced this. Practice making noises - Cough, grunt, whatever. Make noises that sound non-deliberate, make them sound like you are uncomfortable, because you should be! There is another man watching you try to urinate in a cup! Practice masking the sounds of the sample opening and closing especially. If you get ancy and the tester hears your sample open or close, make sure you close it back up and hide it ASAP. Hide it by pushing it back down. My recommendation would be to weigh pants that the waist is too big, and let them fall once or twice to your knees before fastening the belt, to let them know you are trying to keep them from seeing your ass!!! When your belt is fastened, remember to unbutton your pants and unzip them, and have your underwear pulled low enough for your member and the substitution sample available, but not to expose the entire sample or member area.

- Until you are sure your urine is clean, wear a very tight pair of underwear. If you don't own any underwear, go out and buy this Under Armour 7" Compression Short w/Cup Boys - Dick's Sporting Goods

What that will do is allow you to keep the substitution sample very tightly in the correct region. Wear it every day until you are sure you are clean. If you have to wear it every day, its no big deal, there is a region in the shorts for cups where you can keep the sample and I promise it will stay at over 90 degrees F. It doesn't matter if it is 98.6 or 92.5, as long as the sample is between 90 and 100 degrees F.

When you wear it everyday, keep the sample in the right spot. They cannot frisk you (unless you are on probation or something) to feel if your junk has any additives in there. If you go into the room and someone is watching from behind and you cannot substitute, act like you are trying to piss for a few minutes then say you need a minute to calm down or to whatever, don't just piss and lose. They cannot force piss out of you. THEY HAVE TO GIVE YOU MULTIPLE OPPORTUNITIES!!! Next, they will tell you to wait. When no one is looking at you reach down and pull the sample closer to where it needs to be. Continues to say you can't piss, walk around and act like you are really trying to get it going. When you have the right time in front of you, get the urine sample into the right spot. I know this sounds crazy but it has worked for me twice over the last week. They will not suspect anything unless you freak out and cause a scene or something. When you can get it in the right position, leave it there!!! Make sure you have practiced opening and closing the sample with as least noise as possible. When it is in the right spot and you are ready to use it, leave your belt tightened so your pants won't fall down. Do NOT undo your belt buckle, or you risk exposing yourself as substituting.

NEXT, make sure you are mentally ready to go in there and do this. If you get up to bat and you don't feel comfortable with the positioning, just ask for 5 more minutes. Remember, at that time they won't transition you to a hair test unless you are on probation or something. When you are absolutely ready, without a doubt get in there, and whichever side they are closer to, use that hand to "block" them from seeing your "member". Relax. Take many deep breaths audibly so they feel that you are having stage fright. If you are uncertain, ask the guy in there how many times someone else has had stage fright. It will make him start talking and take his mind off watching your every move. TRUST ME. The more you talk and the more trust you gain, the more they believe in you. Use your hand that is not holding the cup to capture your urine to get the bottle in perfect position. As long as they cannot see your member they cannot see what you are doing in most cases, and they don't want to stare at your member. Casually have the substitution sample slide into place right along side your member. Even if that means your member is aimed not directly downward, they usually can't tell or don't want to see how you urinate with your member at odd angles. Use your practice to squeeze the bottle into the cup. The first time it is scary, but they hear urine going into the cup and they are glad to have that over with as opposed to keep waiting on you to urinate. Make sure the first time you do it you have the right amount in the cup so you don't have to try this method twice back to back. When you close the lid to your substitution sample, cough, or make noises to disguise the closing of the lid, and press it back down with your thumb. Hand them the sample, wash your hands, and thank god or whatever out loudly that that is over with, to give more reassurance.

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