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claypiper

Yeah, well, I regret passing my resume so quickly to that old co-worker ... boy do I ever.

I didn't know what the policy was at this company -- it's a big pharma company, so I should have expected something like this, but it was for a geek job. I got to the interview last Friday and saw that I had to sign to my pre-employment willingness to test. I was asked if I did any narcotics, illegal or dangerous drugs in a checkbox and I said no. Pot's been decriminalized for medical purposes in my state (CO), and I don't do narcotics and I don't think it's dangerous. I listed my start date as Sept.1. I've had to take FCC drug screenings in the past (used to be in broadcasting), so it didn't phase me. I'm a computer scientist, so I've been a little insulated, I guess, from drug screening... at least I thought I was insulated.

So I got the offer today (it's 8-9), and I can expect to be tested on Friday or Saturday THIS WEEK!

Aarrgh!

Last time I smoked was yesterday, and I smoke about 1/4 gram of schwag a day, and have for the past 18 years, allowing windows for the FCC tests I took about once per year mebbe 10 years ago.

I'm about 180 lbs, 5'-9'', 36 yrs old. I'm a nice guy. Moderately active (I bike for a few hours a week). I work hard. I never smoke before work. But I do drink a litttle bit afterwards -- mebbe a 6-pack a night or so. I'm always at work at 8 am with bells on. I've always brought my A-game to work, and I have a feeling that my rep at the office probably got me this offer. Of course, this is all a little meaningless because I'm being reduced to what 50 ml of piss says about me. I was always given the chance to put in 30 days of study for my FCC tests. I'm not that lucky this time.

So I went out and bought a few atHome tests on my way home from work, and I've been trying to figure out if I can reasonably pass with S2s dilution and aspirin suggestions. I'm gonna be tested by big pharma's contractor, and I know a little chemistry (I used to do GC tests of compounds when I thought I wanted to be a chemist, actually), so I'm pretty sure that my sample needs to pass the Assay and the GC.

My questions are:

- Is it better (in the community's perspective) to not accept the position 'cause there's no hope of passing the test, or to fail and be deemed ineligible? (Obviously, neither is good, but which is the least good of the two?)

- I've always believed in being as honest as possible. From an ethical perspective, does the community think I should tell the hiring manager at this new company that I know I would fail the test, and that I would rather tell him the reason for my refusal than be caught and shown to be lying on my app?

- Do I have a snowball's chance in hell of passing on 8-13/14 using the aspirin-dilution method (given that I'm ready to stay clean for months after this episode)?

Sure, there will be other job offers, but I really want this job. If I can't have the job, I'd rather not reduce my chances of getting the next one after this.

*sigh*
This is all so terrible.

 

claypiper

Well, I had a couple beers and waited for nature to call.

The atHome test showed a FAINT negative. *sigh* This WOULD NOT pass a GC.

I know that these strip tests are looking for concentrations, and that if I was failing outright there'd be NO faint line on the test section, but a $2K GC machine can blow this result clean out of the water.

My test line needs to approach the darkness of the control. Aspirin might help, I guess, for chromatography, but it still doesn't take this crap out of me. Clearly, my concentration was not low enough to give me a bold line, though. I'm probably on the threshhold.

I feel a little better, but not by much. If I were a chemist, I'd be looking for compounds that bind to these metabolites within lipid tissues and carry them off for evacuation in the bowel. Someone must have done this, or at least experimented a little with it. Trouble is that it would be research that every chem/pharma company and government agency would pay you to NOT do.

I'm going to test twice daily from here on out to the end (whatever that is), and we'll see how it goes. I'll update this thread with the results.

This is an awful thing to go through, but as awful as it is, it's also nice to know that people are listening... even if they be narcs.

RustyShroom

I know what your going threw man! I hate those stupid test I think it's a violation of our privacy! Don't get me wrong I don't belive a person should smoke on the job! But after work "know thats our buisness" It's all to do with our wonderful goverment and $ !!! I can go to the bar tonight throw out my credit card and get so S**T faced I couldn't even walk leave the bar and drive on the highway drunk as a nine eyed billy goat ! And kill a family of four and It was legal for me to get this way It's all to do with taxes What happened to the land of the FREE ?

claypiper

Just got the offer acceptance protocol from big pharma.

Upon "acceptance" (get out your legal textbooks, folks, 'cause that's the language of contract law), I have 48 hours to report to and deliver a sample to the testing contractor. That's big pharma policy.

It's not so much the acceptance part that rings a little, here, it's the 48 hours.

48 hours is approximately the testing window for all common narcotics. The shorter the window, the more narrowly they're trying to spot the crack-heads, junkies and x-fiends.

Unfortunately, I'm being lumped into the crackhead/cokehead and smack-shooter/smoker club when it comes to what the testing is trying to reveal.

Junkies and crackheads will lie, cheat and steal to feed the beast. They'll do all that to their own mother and not bat a lash. (Don't believe me? -- Go live in the crackhead part of town and see how long you go before you get mugged or your car gets popped or your house gets robbed or or your ass gets capped. I'll bet it takes less time than most of the people here have to wait before their piss gets assayed.)

The very depressing thing is that I don't have a beast to feed, with grass. I know that I won't, either. It's been a nice part of life for a long time for me, and as much as I've liked it, it's very easy to give up this thing that's causing me so much trouble, now. I may just give it up entirely, after this.

This is awful. It's a bad trip. I'm not even stoned and it's still a bad trip. It's too bad I don't have an "eject" button.

claypiper

Well, just took the second atHome test (I figure that I'll test once every day until I have to go in.) and the the test line is a stronger than yesterday's (visible at arm's length), though I took 2 aspirins with my water about an hour before testing and to more about a half-hour before test time. The void was super-clear, but a couple vitamins should take care of that.

I still have the willies about this, but I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll have the heeby-jeebies every day up to, during, and for awhile after the test. I'm starting to consider substitution, now. Will have to drop by the head shop tomorrow on the way home to check out what's available.

Just one note about beer, which I drank last night as I usually do, but I was depending on the diuretic effect of it. It ended up dehydrating me considerably, such that it took most of the morning for me to get re-hydrated. I'll definetly postpone the beers a couple days in advance of the test.

I'll continue to update with progress.

Can anyone suggest an alternative to the atHome test? I'd like to see what the result is like using another product.

Thanks very much for the reassurance.

 

Tupelo2toke

Man, Clay, your background, body type and after work habits are a match for mine (beer/tokin'), including the professional occupation. I agree that it isn't fair that we are held accountable for something we do on our own time. Especially that the most harmless drug stays in our system the longest. How ironic is that?

claypiper

Well, I'm watching my fourth atHome test develop right now, and it looks just like my very first one... a very very faint test line. *sigh* I should point out that I took no aspirins for this test.

The third one, yesterday, was taken after taking four aspirins (two about an hour beforehand and two about a half hour beforehand), and the test line was -significantly- darker. Needless to say, I was overjoyed.

I was wondering if the aspirin actually had any effect, and it does. I'll be testing again tonight, (three aspirins two hours before, three one hour before, and two at a half-hour before) just to confirm that the aspirin did the job, but I have a strong feeling that the aspirin really was the thing that made the test line darker in yesterday's test.

Anyhow, I have to take my REAL test tomorrow. It's a LabCorp center. The employment agreement said that if the sample was dilute, it would be considered a positive, so I'm going to take a vitamin tonight and two tomorrow. I also ate a couple steaks tonight for supper, so I feel pretty good about those preparations.

Just a note about what big pharma is saying about the testing methods. I quote:

"All urine samples will be screened using an immunoassay technique and all presumptive positive tests will be confirmed using gas chomatography/mass spectrometry (GC/MS) or other equally sensitive testing methodology. All confirmatory tests will be performed by a laborator certified by the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) for federal workplace testing. Big Pharma currently tests for cannabinoids, (marijuana), cocaine metabolites, amphetamines (including methamphetamines and some prescription stimulants), opiates (including codeine, morphine, heroin, methadone, mepiridine, hydrocondone, hydromorphone and oxycodone), phenylcyclidine (PCP), barbituates, benzodiazipines (including Valium and Xanax), and alcohol, and may test for other drugs at its sole discretion, in which case, applicants and employees will be advised of the additional substances for which Big Pharma will test."

Sheesh. I swear that if I pass this first one, I'll be very very careful from here on out.

Anyhow, I will update this thread with the aspirin-included test in a couple hours.

claypiper

Well, the test line on this last test was a little deeper in color, though not by much. Better than the previous test a couple hours ago. I'm inclined to attribute it to the aspirin.

In all five tests, I had the test line show up, however faint. The control line varied in the deepness of the color across all of the tests, so I don't know how, really, to interpret the variations in color depth in either the control or the test lines.

According to the atHome manual, two lines of any shade represent a negative, but I'm a little leery of how LabCorp will interpret that. I wish I knew if the age of the test (how "fresh" the test strip is) has had anything to do with the color. I also wish that I knew just which test kit manufacturer LabCorp is using.

I guess I just have to suck it up, take the thing, and hope for the best. Here goes nothin'.

I'll post my final result at this thread.

drdoug99

good luck!

hopefully you can talk to the hiring manager or whoever and be honest with them that yes you smoke weed, but that does not mean your are a bad employee....maybe you can come to an agreement like you get tested again in a month or whatever.

it's a shame that good people like you, me, and anyone else that smokes pot is lumped in with the losers.

claypiper

Check the results thread. I followed up.
Quit when you know you'll be tested!
Peace and Love,
-- clay