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melanotaenia

I am going to go ahead and make this thread a sticky and cover the questions that are asked most likely by the posters to this forum with regards to drug testing, how to prepare, some misconceptions floating around, some methodologies, and some tips. Lately I have been finding myself repeating myself very often on these boards and instead of typing the same thing over and over again, I thought I would make this little cheat sheet up for everyone to reference. Please use this and help yourself beat the bladder cops


1. There are many prodcuts that people say will guarantee results but they are not accurate nor help in passing drug tests. These include the followind: AZO, niacin, vinegar, fiber pills, ready clean pills, rapid cleanse, detox tea, golden seal, Certo, and others to be added. The reason I bring these up is for two reasons. First, they are not going to help you pass a drug test, and only are floating around to give you a misconception into some of the shortcuts people try and take, only to realize that the results they are after never come and end up in a positive result. The second is because THC is a fat soluble substance; any fat soluble substance cannot be removed by the body without exercise, time, patience, and a healthy diet consisting of high fiber coupled with low fat and plenty of fluids. There is no way to rapidly remove THC from the body, and there is no way to bind them into the system so that your urine does not excrete cannabanoids into the urine stream; think of the urine in your body as a dumping ground for substances the body is trying to remove; for this reason, you are going to most likely find cannabanoids in your urine for much longer periods of time than in blood.

For the so called "wonder potions" which include Ready Clean, QCarbo, XXtra Clean, Quick Flush, Quick Flush Tablets, Terminator Gold, Clear Choice, MC1 and Vale or Vale Triple Strength, I am not stating in this thread that they do not work for some because people have used them and passed; but in reality, these are usually nothing more than creatine mixed with vitamins mixed with water and sugar, so ask yourself, is it worth the 30 dollars to get this drink when you can get the same results from water, b-complex, creatine supplement, and a good diluting regimen?

2. A chronic smoker could need a long time to clean out. Documented cases for a man who was 400 pounds needing 14 weeks to clean out have been cited here on the website (yes, that is 14 weeks!) But for most, you are looking at a chronic smoker needing at least a month, sometimes 6 weeks, sometimes 8 weeks or more. So if you smoke once a day or more, look at these timeframes for yourself and gauge your job hunting or tests appropriately. This should alleviate some of the "how long does it take me to get clean" questions. If you exercise, knock off some of the time, but keep in mind it is dependant upon your size and your body fat percentage; if you weigh 200 pounds but all muscle, it will take much less time than someone who weighs 200 pounds and has a gut; conversly, if you do exercise, it needs to be done for a period of time in order to raise your metabolism; metabolic rates rise slowly, so working out for a week is not going to change yourself dramatically whereas a 2 month training regimen can have dramatic results. And saunas do not do much of anything except cause you to sweat a lot. If you are a regular smoker i.e. once or twice per week, look at a 2-3 week timeframe to clean out after your last smoke; this too will vary from person to person depending on size described above. Finally, for an occasional smoker, and I rule occasional as once per month or less, look at 10 days or less to clean out. The key here is time; remember, fat cells recirculate slowly in all bodies no matter how active you are. My advice to all would be to home test yourself often as you are detoxing to see exactly how long it takes to clean out; use your first morning void since it is most concentrated. No human body is the same as any other human body, and for this reason, there is no way to give anyone of you guys an exact timeframe to clean out; with the above lists, you should be able to gauge your own timing depending on three factors; size/weight, exercise regimen, and time you have had clean without smoking.

3. Many arguments have been geared at dilution and techniques. Dilution is a very general and never precise exercise. For the record, keep in mind dilution never is 100%; you are filling you bladder with water to keep the levels of cannabanoids down. Think of dilution like a pool filled with floating objects in it. When the pool is only 1/4 filled, there are going to be more floating objects per unit volume. At 1/2 filled, the ratio will be lower i.e. there will be less floating objects per volume; at full volume, there is even less floating objects per unit volume. Dilution is the same thing; as you consume fluids, more water is depositied in the urine stream; as more water is put into the urine, the number of cannabanoids per unit volume will go down; as you continue to dilute and the water levels go up, the ratio goes down even more; but as soon as you stop drinking water, the levels go back up. The following guidelines are what I have recommended for dilution over the past years; first, drink gatorade or powerade; the electrolytes are going to help keep your specific gravity up; your specific gravity of your urine dictates how dilute you are; if it drops below 1.003, you are going to run into urine being too diluted. If you are diluting, it is recommended you add 1/4 tsp of salt per 8oz of gatorade or powerade you drink; it may sound gross, but how important is your passing grade? Once you are drinking all this fluid, you should be peeing every fifteen-twenty minutes. Keep drinking as long as you are getting ready for the test, and don't stop until after you give your sample; without doing this, the ratio of cannabanoids in your urine will start to rise again. A B-complex vitamin should be used at least 1 hour before your deadline; this gives your urine that nice yellow color the labs are looking for, even though it is still mostly water. It is also a good idea to use aspirin 30 minutes before the test time; 4-5 325 aspirins is sufficient, and no, advil or tylenol will not substitute for aspirin; I recommend any generic or Bayer. Creatinine is another substance that can be used to validate a sample; you can raise these levels two ways: by eating red meat or taking a creatine supplement, available at most healthfood stores (look for creatine monohydrate or cell-tech or variations of these) You need to use creatine at the minimum 72 hours prior to your deadline; if you don't, it is not going to help you out since the body needs a couple of days to convert creatine, the content of which you consume, into creatinine, the substance in the urine. This makes up the validity of the sample: creatinine levels, and specific gravity, or salt, as described above. In addition, make sure you urinate often before your deadline; 10 times or more is not uncommon and very helpful. The old adage of loading water into your system days before the test is not needed; remember you should get 8-8oz glasses of water minimally per day as a healthy diet; this is a good number to stick to, it is only 1/2 a gallon and should be attainable by most of you; it helps you keep healthy and urinating often. If you want to drink cranberry juice that is good too; it helps prevent urinary tract infections. When you go to the lab, give a midstream sample, first urinating into the toilet, then into the cup, and the remainder into the toilet; this is the least concentrated part of the sample; NEVER GIVE YOUR FIRST URINE OF THE DAY. If you are diluting, again, it would be helpful to get yourself a home test and test yourself before you go to the labs. If you pass the home test, you are in great shape

4. Home tests WORK! They are accurate and are the same hospitals, probation officers, and labs use for the most part. The cutoff is 50ng/ml for these home tests and is the SAMHSA standard for the government and most labs around the country. The GC/MS test is only a test to confirm a positive; rarely, due to cost, is it ever used as an initial screening; the expense does not dictate using it for initial testing; the dip tests are much cheaper and quicker and give accurate results; here is where the aspirin fits in; the aspirin can help fool the EMIT tests, so by using aspirin, you are going to have an edge on the test itself

5. Waiting for results is hard; labs can take a few business days to report results, and then you have to wait for the employer to contact you. Never call your Human Resources and asked if you passed your test; more strategically, call to make sure everything is in order and be inquisitive but not pushy; if you never hear about the test again, consider that a good sign; most employers assume you are clean and only test as a formality; unless you fail, most HR recruiters will not notify you of the results; but if you are working that is always a good sign.

6. Question your judgement on probation. For employment, if you fail, you just miss out on a job and that sucks but is not the end of the world; other jobs will come along. But probation can mean jail time and other consequences; if you are on probation, choose wisely; peeing in a cup, IMO, is much easier than living in a cell or going to clinics or rehabs because you took a couple of hits. And passing your first probation urine screening is always a good singn to your P.O. that you are a good person and don't do drugs (even though we all know you love MJ)

7. Substitution: here is an easy way to get out of doing any of the above and easing your mind; start with a clean donor, a friend, a spouse, one of your children, and even dogs have been documented to work using their urine (search for Greenbud's post on passing with doggy urine). This is easier than you guys think; take the urine sample and freeze it in your freezer until use. The morning of the test, put the sample, still in its original container, into a cup of hot water, do not microwave; a coffee cup is a good choice; it will thaw slowly and raise the temperature to near body temps. Usually 92-98 degrees is sufficient, though some labs will let you slide at 90 degrees, and some don't even check; but most do. You can put the urine in a condom, twist off, and place either under your testicles or in your vaginal orifice depending on gender. This will ensure it is warm enough. For pre-employment, you are not going to be observed 99% of the time; so you can do the voiding at your leisure once in the lab. If you want to get a temperature strip to test the urine for correct temp range, these can be obtained at most drugstores for a couple of dollars. A travel shampoo bottle is great to transport the urine while heating it up; a condom works good to hold it because it is easy to mold into a certain shape to fit in certain areas. Do not tie off the condom; double the condom over and then twist the condom off at the end; also, make sure you wash the condoms off first to remove any contaminants and powder from the condom before using them. Sure you can purchase a urinator or a fancy rig off the internet, but since most people looking for employment are not that wealthy, it is easier and cheaper to use simple tools available at home. In addition, if you don't have any friends that are clean, you can get quickfix off the internet for 30 dollars per sample, which is synthetic urine, just mix with hot/warm water, and you are set!! For this I recommend Quick Fix or the synthetics that are sold by the company that makes the urinator, since both have been used by many members and both have been proven to work as long as you follow the freakin directios . See it is easier than you think; try a couple of dry runs at home to make sure you can keep the temperature in check before going to the real thing; the most common mistake, and really the only problem presented with substitution, is the fear of the temperature being too low; but with practice, you can run off from the labs and smoke a phatty without having to worry about any calls meriting a positive test result. Try it once, and you will never go back to any other method again; you will find that substitution is a little nervous for some at first, but after the initial trial, people rave about its effectiveness, and you can put your name on the list of the "sub club"

8. Diet. Any type of ruffage type food is good during the days leading up to and including the day of the test; eating fatty foods and laying around is probably the worst thing for you at this point. Instead, try to eat fiber, low fat foods; good choices are eggs, peanuts, bran, low fat turkey, chicken, salads, fruits and vegetables, cranberry and other fruit juices, wheats, liver, soy, proteins. Things to avoid include greasy foods, high carbohydrate type foods, white breads, high sugar foods, candy, chocolate, and the like. Sure this seems more like a weight loss diet, but the goal here is to consume foods that will force your body to break down fat reserves and turn them over into new cells, thereby removing the THC metabolites that collect in the lipid tissue. Fiber, for instance, causes more fat cells to be excreted through the feces; cranberry juice helps to excrete more toxins into the urine stream. There are many ways to clean out quickly, but these are tried and true methods. Combining this with a good exercise regimen, you are arming yourself with two very important factors to a slower detox time; and since so many of you are on short notice detox programs, it is always good to do everything possible to acheive that goal.


Arming yourself with information can be the best plan of action for any drug test; by reading this and following your instincts, you should be able to pull it off if you have some strength, the ability to quit for a period of time, and patience. Remember, the longer you quit, the better your chances always become.

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melanotaenia

Some new information for those who want to read further.


The normal accepted ranges (updated) for normal random urine specimens are listed as 1.002 through 1.030 for specific gravity

The normal accepted ranges for creatinine are 27-300mg/dl for women and 44-250mg/dl for men, respectively

Here is what they do with your urine in the labs:

Gas chromatography is a chromatographic technique that can be used to separate volatile organic compounds. A gas chromatograph consists of a flowing mobile phase, an injection port, a separation column containing the stationary phase, and a detector. The organic compounds are separated due to differences in their partitioning behavior between the mobile gas phase and the stationary phase in the column.

After the components of a mixture are separated using gas chromatography, they must be detected as they exit the GC column

The thermal-conductivity (TCD) and flame-ionization (FID) detectors are the two most common detectors on commercial gas chromatographs. The requirements of a GC detector depends on the separation application. For example, one analysis might require a detector that is selective for chlorine-containing molecules, another analysis might require a detector that is non-destructive so that the analyte can be recovered for further spectroscopic analysis

A GC and MS are usually used together, as they will convert the sample into gas form, then divide/sort the sample by evaporation rate, and break the sample down so it can be catalogued through the different frequencies that are shown through the sample.

The mass spectrophotometer is responsible for comparing wavelengths and then giving you a reading of different wavelengths which can then be used to interpret what substance is in th sample. Different samples give different wavelengths, and each is individual.

Pretty cool huh?

Here is a dorky picture of the rig: