DJ SMOKE

I am (or was) a pretty heavy smoker..probably about 5 blunts a day for the past 5 months..before that I was clean for 6 mos..I am 5'9 190 pounds, built like a running back...anyway its been approximatley 27 days since my last smoke...tested myself on the 24th day w/o dilution....still dirty...so i tested myself today AFTER drinking approximatley 1 gallon of fluids over a 3hr period, along with 8 325mg asprin...still dirty.....for my 1st 2 weeks of being clean i worked out every day...i caught a cold last week and was taking cold meds but none since may 12th...then on top of that sunday i got a stomach virus from my buddies kids...so i got the runs...and vomitting like crazy from monday night till tues night...and weds tried the dilution techniqe....no luck....could it be that the test i bought off of e-bay are no good?... im really searching for answers...any help would greatly be appreciated.