The Results Thread

[Dr.Crusher]

Hello all.
I tried my own version of S2's method with an at home test that I purchased at CVS. It said that I was negative and it has only been 7 days since I smoked! Wooo Hooo!! I smoked KB too, not those cheap regs..
I will take another test though in a couple of days without diluting to see whether or not I will even need to dilute as much as I did today.
My method today was 3 large glasses of water, (one glass = 2 cups), and I took tons of niacin. I know you all think that Niacin is crap, but my friend on probation SWEARS by it. He is a heavy smoker too. I did not take asprin, but I definity will when I take the test for the job.
Now my concern is, how accurate are these home tests?
Are the ones that will be used on me at the doc's office going to be more sensitive? PS what if they do a blood test? what are my chances of passing one of those bad boys if I haven't smoked for 2 weeks?
(*I was moderate to heavy smoker, 5'4, 145 lbs, moderate metabolism).
PS: If I pass the next home test, hugs and kisses to S2.
If I pass the REAL test, I will find S2 in real life and shower you with gifts.

[Locutus]

good luck Dr. Crusher, i always thought you were totally hot on Star Trek Next Generation

ok, here's my results from awhile back last year before i found these boards and read for several months without registering, so better late than never, i guess. now i'm a medical user with a legal prescription in CA, and i smoke a little everyday primarily for IBS spasms, and it works great.

when i went for an interview, they said i had to go take the drug test that same day, so i had less than 2 hours notice. i knew those 300% guaranteed detox drinks said they worked in 1 hour, so i picked up TestPure Platinum Magnum Force - The Big One for $35 for those with high toxin levels. i followed the instructions and drank the extra bottle of water, so it was 48 oz total, prepissed a couple of times and when i gave my sample it was a real abnormal color like a glowing neon radioactive hulk sampole or something, very embarrassing to look at. i'm sure they could tell by looking at it what kind of studying i had done. but i after she put some drops on her panel test, and bottled up part of the sample, i was told it would take a few days for the lab results. little did i realize that meant i had failed.

i bought some new workboots and blissfully worked for a whole week thinking i had passed... a whole week of no news should've been good news, but it wasn't... they called me up from work and said the failing results had came in and did i know why i might've failed? i wasn't sure how to handle this but i tried being honest and said i had a medical prescription for it. they said they would allow it if i showed it to them and it was valid, AND if i went immediately and passed a retest. again i had less than 2 hours notice before the place closed up... so i went to a different local headshop and picked up a different flush drink, Strip Extreme Cleanser 32 oz that was $50 for the highest toxin levels, and chugged it and when i got to the clinic there was a mixup and the piss lady had stopped taking piss at a different hour a couple of hours before the clinic closed.

i had to go back to the test center the next day, so on the way home i went back and bought another one of the $50 Strip EC drinks and the next day i followed the plan even more carefully by giving myself a good 2-3 hours for the drink to work better, and i had abstained for about 2 days at that point. when i gave them the cup, i was amazed at how much more abnormal the color looked than the first time... it was like a florescent yellow highlighter color. and i failed again.

the guarantees for these products say you have to send a copy of the lab results along with the receipt, but of course i wasn't entitled to get that document. instead i sent a copy of the letter of termination from my job to both companies. Testpure totally ignored my refund request. Covert Labs (Strip) somehow figured that twice my purchase price of $50 came out to only $79.90, shorting me by $20, and the other part of their guarantee was they sent me some other crappy product to drink, Black Magic, as if i would be fooled a 3rd time... i couldn't even give that little vial away.

vvv DO NOT BUY THESE DRINKS! vvv (or waste your money like i did on any other similar products)

[IrishMikey]

I passed my UA today with flying colors. What a relief! Original thread with details here:

http://www.marijuana.com/420/showthread.php?p=337526

Thanks all!

[d4rk3]

so i smoke for a weekend while clean from the start of it (thursday)...i smoked till sunday morning (about 2 grams over the weekend, of some midgrade).

then i quit for 10.5 days, and took a home test with the first piss of the day. passed. "no way", i said. very faint line, almost non-existant but it WAS there. i'll get another after work (so probably my "10th" or so piss of the same day) pass with an atleast-noticeable-this-time line. cool. dropped, and passed! pm me if you want the actual number in "X ng/ml", it's an actual computer that analyzes it, but it's not gc/ms. gives you a number but only checks for what drug/s they tell it to.

bottom line, i was under 50 ng/ml in 10.5 days without any exercise, just regular diet with a little more fluid than normal. with a little more fiber than usual too, for the hell of it. guess my metabolism kicks ass.

6'0
male
130-135 lb. (i'm always in this range, have been for years)

[funkdoktaspot]

yesterday i found out i had to go take a piss test for a job within 24 hours. Ofcourse i fretted and my nerves went banannas. I got some of those detox products but i didnt wanna rely on them because im smoke quite a bit of herbs. So in turn i went searching on the web for alternate ways to handle it.


I found this forum last night and read all the opinions from everyone and gathered my thoughts. I called up my friend last night who is clean as a whistle and asked him to stop by and gimmie a few oz's of piss this morning for the test. Then i went got a digital thermometer this morning. I liked the stick the bottle in hot coffee idea so i tried it at home once before i went (i had limited time thats why i tried it once or i woulda practiced a TON which i suggest).

I inserted the urine into the cup for 30 secs and to my amazement the damn thing registered 104 just like of the other members said it would. a big grin came across my face and i knew things were looking up. That done i left it out on the counter after heating it up...i left it out for 20 just to see how the temp would drop. After 20 mins it was still 96.5. It was still in range. So i cupped my big old bawls and found the spot suggested for the placement...ran out and got some tighty whitey's cause im a boxer man.

I doubled up on the draws for extra support and for warmth. Everything was set. I stopped by my drug testing facility once everything was set. Once i parked i took out my thermos mug of coffee i had just purchased from the local convience store. Boom thermometer read 104 again. Shoved it in my bawls and i was off.

I was very suprised how fast they saw me. i was into the bathroom putting in my sub urine withing 30 mins which was GREAT. Boom everything went just like planned. Once i was done with that i thought i was in the clear.

BUT they did not tell me i was getting a physical as well. So after the urine part was done they took me into one of the rooms and told me to get undressed to see the doctor. i almost crapped my pants. i still had the empty bottle of urine in my crotch. I broke out some quick thinking and as soon as the nurse left to go get the doc i took out the bottle wrapped it in paper towels and hid it in the trash quick. I had no idea the doc was gonna do a hernia test as well. WOW. After almost panicing myself into a heartattack i sat and waited...doc came in, did his thing then left. As soon as he left i grabbed the bottle again and put it back in my crotch. The agony was over i had pulled it off.

Sorry for the long post but i hadnt seen any others on the forum regarding the hernia and urine test all at once. Shocked the crap outta me but i wanted to share my experience incase it helps others. If anyone has had any expereinces like this id like to hear em.

Sorry for the long Post. THANKS a ton to everyone who has participated on the threads and for the folks running this site. Without this info i woulda been hurting bad!!!!!

[weatemanu]

Tall, average build.

I'll start by saying I passed, after 19 days clean, having smoked, very strong, super-skunk for 5 nights out the 10, preceeding the 19 days. Prior to that nothing for a few months.

When I had notice of the test, I ran for 3 days, and then for the last 4 days; ate fatty foods and did little. Hammered the vitamins and pure fruit juice.

Planned on drinking steadily throughout the day; had a meeting, it didn't happen. Found myself an hour before the test with far from a full bladder.

Drank 1.5 litres of water in one sitting. By the time I arrived, I was desperate for a pee.

Produced the required amount. It may as well have been water, which unfortunately they noticed.

They buggered about, moaned about the the dilution, asked me if I'd ever smoked cannabis, I said no. Asked me if I get randomly tested, I said yes.

My heart rate at this time, must have been touching Mach 2.

Finally filled out the form; passed.

Won't be touching the stuff again. As much as I like a good smoke, it's not worth it.

It is however an intrusion on your civil liberties. I could have been snorting coke and looking at child pornography a couple of days before the test and passed. But no, I smoked a bit of weed 3 weeks before and it put me in this situation.

Is this civilisation?

[white]

I am 6'1" 185lbs. male. I have smoked for 12 yrs. Im almost 30. I have tried everything on the market and have failed every drug test I have ever taken. Detox, synthetic urine, freeze dried urine, cleaner pills, none of them worked...or if they did, the drug test people found the cleaners and I failed anyway. Recently I decided to try again and found actual human pee for sale (perfecturine.com) FINALLY I passed my first drug test. I am now convinced the ONLY way to pass is to use real human pee.......just not my own!!

[Stickline77]

I have been smoking for so long....I have passed 4 drug tests using certo and certo only (&drinking water) and smoking every day, right up to the test day- I have NO self control... im chubby with slow metabolism .My sister just passed a test for a job at a major hospital with certo..this week i have a test for Home dePot, and I pray that certo works again...i will let you know...if i pass this, the 5th test, i will buy stock in certo. What is this crap????

[sosSmoker]

I just wanted to chime in here and say thank you for all of the great information. I recently had to take a drug test for a new job. After the countless hours of research I decided that I was going to substitute. I was only about 14 days clean, and I am a pretty heavy smoker (at least 1/day). I took my test at the testing facility LabCorp. I followed N2's suggestions, and practices, practiced. Once I felt comfortable that I could maintain the temp I went in and did the deed. I used a 2.1oz shampoo bottle which yielded about 75ml of fluid. On test day I just got my clean sample from a good friend of mine, and headed off to LabCorp. Surprising they did not have me empty my pockets or check me out in anyway. I was showed to the bathroom, I was able to shut and lock the door behind me. I made the substitution waiting a few moments, took a leak in the toilet and came out. The guy was about 30 feet down the hall so I was confident he didn’t hear me make the transfer. He checked the temp 97.5 and filled out the paperwork, allowed me to wash my hands and flush the toilet. I heard back today from my employer that I start first thing on Monday. So thanks again to all that have offered good advice.

[DrugNazisSuck]

I passed my pre-employment screen on Monday... WOO HOOOO!!!! I knew in advance I'd be taking it and prepared accordingly.

That day I was sure to eat fatty junk food (beef jerky, potato chips, etc...) and drink tons of fluids.

I had 3 1/2 of the Minute Maid apple juice they sell in any gas station for $1.39 and then refilled one of them with water 3 times. This was during about a 8 hour stretch.

In the morning I took 2 cranberry pills, one 500 mg niacin pill and 2 325mg aspirins.

About 2-3 hours later 2 more aspirin and 1 more cranberry pill.

About an hour & 1/2 before the test I took a vitamin B pill.

THIS IS IMPORTANT - Vitamin B!!! NOT b12, NOT b2, NOTHING except vitamin B. No time release pills either! none of those worked for me.

About a 1/2 hour before the test I really had to urinate and it was radioactive neon yellow.

On my way to the test facility I took 2 more cranberry pills, 3 more aspirin and sucked down a 4th bottle of water.

I was wearing a business suit and tie to the test. I smiled and spoke confidently when asked any questions. Looked dead in her eyes with all my responses.

I explained to the woman that administered the test that I'd just taken a test 5 days prior and had trouble going so I was sure to drink some water on the way to this one.

The test I took looked like some little white thing with 5 interconnected tubes.

I intentionally volunteered to leave my keys, sunglasses, radio face plate, etc on the counter.

I could have gone in with anything, as they didn't check my pockets and asked very few questions before directing me to the bathroom with a small white cup. They didn't even ask me to wash my hands.

If you are reading this wondering if you'll pass a urine test, I suggest you do a search for my posts that I started because dillution (as stated on the sticky) wouldn't work and I failed one home test 4 days after passing a home test.

Unfortunately my tokin days are over.

On the bright side I'll make in 2 days what I made in 5 days at my old job and no little pu55y a55 backstabbing beeatch boss to breathe down my neck and constantly complain. Not to mention 7 of every 14 days I'm scheduled off work!


To Maryjane- its been fun and entertaining even on the worst days. You eased my pain when I needed and cured my occasional migraines. You never complained and were always there when I needed you. You were always gone in the morning, chosing not to linger longer than you were wanted. Goodbye, possibly forever.


This site really helped me out. A special thanks to those that regularly contribute and answered my threads and those who make this site possible.