NY1Bulldog

I am a heavy smoker for over 30 years, smoking multiple times daily, and have been offered a job cooking in the kitckenof a Adult care facility that is run by a Hospital. they informed me that I will be required to take both a phyical and a drug test on tuesday, May 2nd. I plan on using the asprin and dilution method descibed by S2 and N2, I also bought, before I read this message board, a bootle of "Maximum strength Ultimate Gold" and plan on drinking it an hour before I leave for the test. This is the first drug test I have ever taken and I am sweating bullets. When I take the test I will not have smoked for 5 days. What are my chances of passing? I have also read the you can use Certo, used in making jellies and jams, anyone have any info on this. Also, which at home drug tests are legitimate. I am 5'10" 200 lbs and a belly gut so a moderate to slow moderate system. Not alot of exercise, maybe a couple of 1 mile walks each week. They told me I would be take a urine drug screening test Please help me.