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AlwaysNeedzWeed

Ok y'all, heres my story.

I have loose ligamented knees (double jointed) but when my knees pop outta place it's very painful. So when my left knee popped out dis year, it hurt like a witch (with a capitol B), but when i was able to drive again, i started puffin the magic dragon again. While puffin i also went job searchin, when i found out a company that i was going to be interviewed for tested for drugs, i stopped smoking.
I found out bout 10 days prior BUT i'm 5'9 and 332lbs so yeah, i wasn't clean, so i came to this website, found out some info, and damn near passed. Got my friend J to supply me wit sum clean piss (believe me it was akward as hell). He did and when i went to go and take the test sum stupid shit happened.

First, i figured ok if i put the piss in a container thats closed off and den keep it in a cup with boiled water in it den it'll stay warm till i get to the lab which was bout 10 mins away. i made it to the lab, and forgot my fuckin paperwork, had to go back home. Second trip but this time, i had put the container in the pot when i boiled the water (container still sealed off) but the piss started to boil. So i figured ok, ok, no prob i can just let it cool on the way, put it in the cup and went on my way. BUT the container had sumwhat melted (not into the piss), so now, the top wouldn't stay on, and becuz of that, putting the container into my draws (had on two pair) was ummm PAINFULL, i got burnt by another man's piss, yeah funny now, back then, not tho. So i went and took the pain, even tho if i walked to fast dis shit would burn me more, and i knew my hands smelt like piss so i used sum santizer to get rid of the smell (oh i had dress shirt and stuff on). So go thru procedure and the lady don't even check my pockets so i coulda left it in my pockets DANGIT. Ok, i go and put the clean piss in the cup, i even put sum extra in the toilet, just for sound purpose. Now i walk out, still hurtin (PUBES ON FIRE)lol. I give lady the cup and guess what, the sample was too damn hot, it didn't even register on the cup so they were laughin, even asked if i microwaved it, of course i played dumb and was like "nah". So they said i had to take the test again, so i said alright. This time i planed on using my piss even tho i wasn't clean, but hey, i don't know what to du anymore my brain is gon, and i smell like hot piss (not enough to notice by them tho) so i waited 30 mins, couldn't pee, and asked could i come back another day, they said yeah, just gotta get new paperwork. So now i can get a second chance wit da same company just had to wait 3 months, it's ben 2 and a half, so i'm gonna get an at home test, see if i'm clean yet, if i'm not, buy a human thermometer (anybody know where i can get one from?) and try subbing again THE RIGHT WAY. THATS MY STORY, HOPE IT WAS ENTERTAINING.

 

818-Kush

Stories like this make me glad I am self-employed. My job is a legal job, I am not a grower.

I would hate to be drug tested to get a job.

Hawg

Priceless, absolutley priceless. One of the funniest I have read in a while. Man you deserve to pass after all of that sh#t. Get some Quick Fix 4.0 and follow the directions and you will be good to go.

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Here is a good place to see who test's and how.
http://www.testclear.com/dtcompanies/searchcompany2.cfm



Figures don't lie but liars can figure

29yeartoker

I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time but thanks for the laugh of the day.

We all live and learn.

Good luck next time. As Hawg said get some quick fix 4.0 for the next go round.

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zogob024

hilarious. made me laugh. qf4.0 yourself. mines coming this week.