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sweetleaf777

Hey gals, (and guys if you're reading this)
I need to try to come up with a way to sub while being observed. I failed my last test since I was prepared to sub, had bottle in vagina and good temp, but turned out the chick stood right in the room with me not 3 feet away and watched so I had to pee myself while desperately trying to keep the bottle from plopping down in the toilet!! Its easier for guys as they at least get to turn their backs but not us girls! So anyone tried a condom and somehow pricking it open? Does it bust or tend to slide out? Any other tricks anyone tried? I was given another chance but I am afraid I could never get clean, especially since I don't know when to expect it. Any help or advice anyone has would be really appreciated. Thanks!!

 

Explicit

As a male I only have one bit of advice. Don't take any drugs. It sounds like you are being tested for something very serious, not just employment related, so you really shouldn't fuck around.

sweetleaf777

No man its only for my job. I'm actually a very upstanding citizen and highly thought of at my new job but I failed the pre-employment test after already working a month. My boss really likes me and accepted my hemp oil excuse, basically because she wants to keep me but I may have another to make up for it, just don't know yet. I really like my job but it is quite stressful as is raising 3 kids ALL alone with no help from anyone! I truly take care of my family as well as my life and job, its something very importany but so stressful some days I want to cry at the cruelness of humanity. So yeah, I smoke some herb occasionally as I really don't care for alcohol and need some type of release at the end of the night as I try to relax before bed. I just don't want to lose something I work very hard at just because I toke a doob once in a while.

Lolo69

Have you been smoking weed since the hemp oil excuse? (I remember you.) How long has it been since you last smoked? If it has been two or three weeks, or almost 30 days, you might get away with dilution, following the sticky on this site.

Have you home-tested yourself? What are the results?

Perhaps you can get away with subbing by telling the monitor that you have a shy bladder and can't pee in front of people? If they buy it, hide a sub under your breasts and wear a sports bra.

My heart truly goes out to you.

Lolo69

I searched the sub sticky for you and came up with the method below. The woman who posted this passed her test. Seems a little complicated, but this chick sure was resourceful and is to be commended.



First of all, thanks to everyone who posted here - there was a lot of great advise! I am going to try to make this short...there is only one sure way to pass a UA everytime - don't use. For some, testing comes on short notice, for others (such as myself) we don't want to alter our lives for the sake of the bladder cops. Dilution doesn't always work; it seems one must almost be a chemist in order to get it right. Substitution works wonderfully, as long as you are not going to be observed while producing a urine sample. Up until today, I had never been closely observed, although I had practiced as if I might be. I can not offer advice for men on how to pass via substitution if you are going to be observed (but my husband has passed on several occassions using substitution methods, sans observation, similar to what is found on these forums), but I wanted to share my method with the women who read these forums. SO here goes...I didn't use a condom, it seemed too risky, had an ambiguous shape when inserted making retention difficult, and when broken it sounded like a water balloon popping - a dead giveaway! So I went to a medical supply store and bought urostomy pouches. These come in many sizes but require alteration in order to work, so go ahead and by the larger ones. Cut the pouch in half under the "big hole" (you'll know what I mean when you see a urostomy bag), the cut up along the sides to make a long rectangular shape. Now you have to seal it. Someone recommended trying a "seal-a'meal" type set-up but I didn't have one and wasn't going to go out and buy one, so using a CD jewel case, close up the ends and carefully burn the edges with a lighter. Make sure that you have sealed it well and test it for leaks! Now, here is the tricky part, (and perverts drop dead, we are busy doing something other than sex right now, ok?) use water to practice, and insert the bag *you know where*. I needed help, so keep that in mind. Leave the valve outside your body. I found the valve difficult to operate so I left it in the open position and used the caps that the bags came with to seal it. Keep practicing, I was able to use the device and hold the cup with one hand. Wear a dress or long skirt, unlike pants this offers immediate cover. I did not bother to close the valve, didn't want to risk any more covert ops than necessary under the watchful eye of the probation officer, but it drains quickly and completely, I wiped, pulled up my panties and smiled as I washed my hands! I ended up having to sit and chat with my PO for a bit, then went home where I removed the bag. It isn't the most comfortable thing, but living in a cell is even more uncomfortable, so practice and find a way that it works best for you. Level of insertion is up to you - but I was able to conceal it from view entirely. Keep eye contact with whomever you are being watched by, they will more than likely keep eye contact too thus not paying too close attention to your twat. Make small talk, they are more than likely uncomfortable as well, so if you are just chatting about the weather or whatever was on the news this morning, they have to somewhat concentrate on the conversation and again, not solely on you peeing. I passed! Whoooo peeeeeeee!!!!! *does a dozen cartwheels* PRACTICE!!!! Best advise I was given....thanks again everyone!

 

Lolo69

Sorry to be posting so much, but here's another tip I picked reading the sub sticky for chicks. (Mind you, I have never subbed.)

Insert your sub container up your vagina, with the top pointing out so you can empty your sub into the cup. Some women who are taking observed tests have recommended wearing a long skirt to cover any hand motions.

I've also read that the condom can sometimes make a popping sound, like a balloon.

Maybe your next test won't be observed.

Explicit

That's the first I've ever heard of a job having you be supervised for a test. That's truley a bitch. Most all employers are just looking to jump through the hoop for the insurance companies and not really looking to lose potentially quality employees by having someone stare at you pee. Look in to the dilution method then as I would assume after the first failed test you likely haven't smoked since. If you've gotten some time in between your last smoke session and now you can likely dilute and get away with it fine. Pick up some home tests and find out where you stand. Get around 5-10 so you can run several tests. That way you can test your first urination of the day vs. a diluted sample on several diffrent days to really see where you stand. Do you know a set test date yet? With the proper steps you can likely get away with diluting and not have to worry about the whole condom thing. I don't know from experience but that doesn't sound to possible to do with someone standing 3 feet away watching you try to pull it off. The big question to answer is when was the last time you smoked now.

1tokeovertheline

Your boss really likes you and is going to have you take an observed employment test?????? Maybe you should reconsider how much she likes you and how highly thought of you are at your work place. Especially if they find out by doing a GC/MS that you lied to them. I know this is a blunt and probably not very nice post, but it IS realistic. I would start getting a resume together.

1tokeovertheline

Go ahead and call me a pervert, everyone else does. BUT if you put just enough urine in for the test (40-60ml) it would go in easier. Don't fill it so full. (there is that friggin' angel again) Why does he keep following me?

Sec

That angel is trying to influence you. It isn't working though.

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