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Old 03-27-2007, 04:08 AM   #1
Darius927
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Exclamation Subbing practice screw up - this is funny

Ok, lots of you are gonna laugh at my ass when you here this, but I figure it is my duty to let people know.

I took a Quest 6633N SAP 10-50 GC/MS test today, that I paid for myself (pretty cheap). I think I might be able to pass it diluting, and if I dont (I'll know wed/thur) I'll sub for the real thing (Quest 7192N SAP 10-50 + ALCOHOL). So I decided to be sneaky and practice my subbing technique with just some warm water.

So I follow N2's dilution technique, slightly adjusted for my body. But I also take a condom, fill it with warm water, twist the top, fold the top over, and tie it with a twist tie, ends folded to not pierce the condom. Been practicing temp control with bottles and condoms, so wasn't worried with the temp. Crotch it, and off I go to the collection site.

Get there, fill the paperwork, wait about 10-15 mins, and they call me. They ask me to empty my pockets, put stuff in a locked cabinet, pick and open a cup, and hang up my jacket. Off I go into the bathroom. I take a leak into the cup, and just as I am about to pull my pants back up, I feel water trickling down both my legs! The twist tie came off the condom!

SH*T !!!

So there I am with a cup of urine, and a wet spot the size of 2 dollar bills on each side of my inner thighs!

Well, I figure there's no use in panicing cuz I'd be caught for sure so I walk out hand her the cup, and go to the counter where the locked cabinet with my stuff was (the paperwork was there). Signed off and everything, and got my stuff and was out. Was ready to say I spilled some of the cup on me if she saw, but I had dark blue jeans on so that probably helped.

So what have I learned?

1) Like others say, walk in like you own the place, show confidence!
2) Never use condoms, or if you do, make SURE they are sealed!
3) Could've subbed had I had something clean, it's not hard if well prepped!

I might pay for another on my own and go in with QF, just to make sure it works, but with a 2-2.5 oz bottle this time.

Ok, let the laughing begin.
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Old 03-27-2007, 05:15 AM   #2
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Heh, yes that is funny. Man you are really rehearsing this eh?
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