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mrslokiee

Hey everyone,

I just got word that I fooled the bladder cops. I figured I would share the story breakdown since I was near shitting my pants the whole ordeal and it seems like most people feel the same way on their first time.

I got offered a job for a major video game retailer as a manager last week. I kind of figured pot and videogames went together like peas and carrots, but appartently the company frowns upon it :P. I immediately went online and researched a bit until I found a product I liked. I decided to sub with synthetic urine since I don't know a whole lot of people that could provide clean pee. I went with " Go Number One", they are the folks who make the "Whizzinator". I didn't do any practice runs since the instructions and apparatus were pretty user friendly. It comes with a pouch of premixed synthetic attatched to an elastic belt that is velcro closure, there is a temp strip on the pouch, two japanese hand warmer dealies and some clips on a hose from the pouch to stop the flow.

I went in and picked up my paperwork on tuesday and then went for lunch so I had time to prepare and heat the pee up. I slipped into the bathroom and attachted the belt under my clothes and started the hand warmer. Being a girl I had an extra advantage. I just left a job at a national bank (who does not pee test, oddly enough) so I wore my best work clothes with my little spanx girdle pants underneath (holds the tummy in more, along with the synthetic pee :P).

The belt was not uncomfortable and warmed up after about 45 minutes to the temp needed. I went down to quest diagnostics and was welcomed into the exam area right away since there was no line. Everything from this point on reads like all the other stories on here that no matter how much you read it, it will still feel like "YOU" are the first person ever who will have something off the wall happen and you will fail.

I rinsed my hands after showing her my ID (no soap), I then entered the bathroom where she stuck the tablet thing in the bowl and told me not to flush or run water. She closed the door and I pulled down my pants and sat on the toilet. I unclipped the clips and dribbled into the cup out of the little plastic hose. Temp on the belt read a perfect 98ish and then I dribbled the real thing into the toilet for good measure. As I was pulling my pants back up she knocked on the door and reminded me it was a timed test and then I was out.

We filled out the rest of the paperwork and signed and initialed and I made a joke how girls should get more time since it is a way more involved process for them. She laughed. Then I went home to wait.

Then today April 20th, of all days I get a call from my new boss, joking that he was congratulating me for not being a hardcore drug user. :P Now I am off to toke in celebration.

This was my first drug test. I am a Canadian citizen living in the US and I think that it is a complete violation of human rights. I had been working eight years in Canada and never once did my ability to pee in a cup rule my chances of being able to serve customers. I hope that someday the freedom that your constitution speaks of is excercised and that you will all be alive to see it. I am not a bad person, I don't drink, I don't use other drugs, heck i even gave up cigarettes. Weed is my only guilty pleasure and I think everyone is entitled to a couple of those. Also for the record, I was a damn fine stoner bank teller. My drawer always balanced and my customers loved me.