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lavaface

I have a pre-employment screening tomorrow at labcorp, and I'm planning on subbing. I'm fairly certain I won't be watched. I'm totally nervous about it, but I've been practicing with a 100mL bottle. The bottle is rectangular, and has a screw off top. I'm planning on getting to the test site early, it's only about 10 minutes from my house, and my substitute will be taken just before I leave. There's no way I can fit the bottle in my vagina, because of the shape. I'm planning on just tucking it in between my labia, and wearing 2 pairs of underwear to keep it warm. I tried practicing with a condom, and it's too wiggly and a pain to work with. So any tips for me? Should I heat it up a little more before leaving for the test, or will I be ok for the possibly 20 minutes I have to wait? Should I tape it to myself, or is tucking into my girl parts enough?

I've read all the stickies, and have been searching old threads, but I'd love any advice. Dilution isn't an option really, since I'm a heavy smoker with a slow metabolism, and had almost no warning for the test.

 

bogo

yes heat it up to 103 then go for it it easier to keep it at 98 by the time you use it then trying to get it warm by body heat... do a quick pratice run with water so you know how long it take to do it right

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lavaface

Thanks bogo, and thanks to N2 and sec3, and everyone that's posted in threads about subbing. I think I read all of them from the last several years. I love you all for your help. It went smoothly. Here's what happened, in case anyone's interested.

I had my sub bud (a guy) fill my 100ml bottle to the rim, ran the bottle under very hot tap water, and tucked it into the underpants. I ran out the door, got to Labcorp about 10 minutes later, and waited in the lobby for under 5 minutes. The lady had me sign twice, initial the sticker that would go on the bottle, and asked my social #. She locked my purse in a lockbox that was on the inside of the door, and left me to it. I set the bottle on the floor, grabbed my bottle, and slowly, quietly unscrewed the lid and slowly poured it in (so it wouldn't glug.)

It ended up being almost too much, I dumped the rest into the toilet for a tinkling sound, and dropped a bit on the edge of the seat. Then I went to put my empty bottle back in my underwear, and DROPPED IT. I grabbed it after one bounce, and the noise wasn't loud, but my heart jumped into my throat. So I took my pee bottle, and tapped it on the floor a bit, saying quietly "don't spill!" Hoping that if someone was at the door, they would think I was a clumsy, but innocent, fool. I stashed the bottle, grabbed my sample, and checked the temp, it was 93F. A little low, but my paper said between 90F and 100F.

I walked outside, and no one was there. Thank god no one heard me dropping stuff. The woman came out after 10 seconds from another room, chatting with another employee while she initialed my test sheet, checked yes on the temperature, and told me to flush and wash my hands. She bagged my sample and wished me a great day. I tried not to look too happy as I left.

Sub is the way to go, I'm sold on it, for pre-employment. I knew I couldn't dilute (even though the toilet water wasn't dyed) and still pass. I recommend going in the morning, the people there were obviously more interested in chatting and getting things organized than listening to me pee. So thanks again, everyone!

parooka9

hey lavaface, nice story. Quick question, how did you check the temp at the facility? Is there a thermometer strip on the test cup or something? Or did you have a thermometer? Just curious, I've never taken a test, thanks.

Sec

There is a temperature strip at the bottom of every collection cup.

One thing... You guys should never initial the stickers until AFTER they are placed on the shipping vial. Never initial while they are still attached to the CCF (Paperwork).

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FakeBoobsRule

Do you think the dilution method is scooping out toilet water and using it in the sample cup? That is not the dilution method. That is called adulterating your sample with toilet water. Did you read anything about some of the methods here before posting? You should have practiced more instead of running around and then dropping the bottle, probably because you were nervous and didn't practice enough.

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