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Smokey n Bandit

For all of you worried sick,
The easiest solution is to get someone else's piss!
This may not work as well for probation, but for employment its a breeze..... since they dont watch you most of the time.

Find your "clean" buddy and have him piss in a bottle,
Try to get it as close to your drug test as possiable.
The fresher the better, but IF NEEDED, you can throw it in the fridge for a couple days. (the less time the better).

(in my case, I got piss 1 day PRIOR to my test and threw it in the fridge asap.)


DRUG TEST DAY!

Yay, nothing like waking up knowing its going to be a breeze......
BE CONFIDENT, nervousness only causes hesitation.

What you will need.
-1 bottle clean piss
-2 heat-warming pads (the kind you throw in your gloves for winter, they can be found in gas stations right next to all the automotive supplies)
-1 small bottle with fliptop (travel size shampoo bottle works great, wash it out.)(these can be found at wallgreens make sure you have a decent yet small size.)
-A condom is optional, make sure its NON LUBERCATED.
-A thermometer
-Tape (ductape, medical tape, electrical tape, ANYTHING THAT STICKS!)


1. Take piss out of fridge, allow it to reach room temp, if you need it warmer faster, I suggest running the bottle under warm water. Some other methods work, such as microwave, or heat up some water on the stove then swish the bottle around the warm water.

2. Get your shampoo bottle, wash it out, then dry it out using a hair dryer. make sure the whole thing is dry.
(If you purchased a condom I will throw the steps down at the bottom)

3. Tape two "hot packs" or glovewarmers, to each side of the bottle, then throw that clean piss in there, let sit for about 15-30 mins to warm up, use your thermometer to get it between 90-100 degrees.
(if it seems to stay under 90 DONT WORRY, its going to be taped to your privates)

4. Once reached to above temp, tape it DIRECTLY under your sack, so that the your scrotum is over the bottle, keeping it xtra warm, make sure the flip-top is facing away from you and poked outta your scrotum like a second penis or something I dunno u get it.

5. Lets go to the lab!!!! Bring your thermometer. Ok your driving, before you even go into the place, park a block away, and double check the temp and make sure its about 91-98 degrees, A little above? dont worry. it will cool off after you throw it into that damn cup.!

6. Don't act nervous, keep your cool, like cheating in highschool. ALL is good.

7. Close the door, zip those pants off, and pop the fliptop, pour that shit into the cup until you reached the amount they need. TRY NOT TO MAKE SO MUCH NOISE, they will notice. Also, dont take too long, they will become suspicious.

8. put the cup aside, and piss your REAL piss into the toliet. DONT FLUSH, they usually ask you not to.

9. Walk out happy, and wait for your 100% clean results.


***If someone comes in to watch you, play "stage fright", say that you cant pee with someone watching you... ask them to turn around, or convience them to leave the room, or run the water..... ANYTHING that can sneak this trick in.

FOR CONDOMS, do the same as above, except WITHOUT glovewarmers... Condoms are very thin, and they will hold the tempeture of your body, if it is tucked under your scrotum and taped...
-you will also need to sneak in a pin, or needle to poke a hole in the condom, i suggest before you go in, get a pin, and put in on your boxers, unpinned (with needle sticking out already) face it away from your body, or on its side.



From what I've read, and searched on the INTERNET.
You can freeze your piss and it will be good for about 8 months,
and for the fridge for at least a week.

REMEMBER THE FRESHER THE BETTER.
AND MAKE SURE THAT TEMP IS STABLE.


Feel free to add, or correct anything.
I wrote this, because their sending my piss to CALI to be tested, and I dont wanna use any DETOX products.

I had only one test before this, I smoked the day before, and took that Qcarbo drink from GNC, or Vitamin World.
followed directions completely, and pissed cleaned for real.
THIS MAY NOT WORK FOR ALL, I AM 5'7'' and 130-40pounds.... so that shit can flush outta me.

good luck, and dont get caught, cause its your own ass!

 

Smokey n Bandit

You may not need two glovewarmers, so try taping one on before the the other....

I got some cheap ass ones (about 89 cents for 2) so I needed two when I went in...

My cousin did the same as me, except he didnt throw his piss in the fridge, he left it out for 2 days before going... and he passed no problem....




********SEDIMENT**************
***********PLEASE READ**************

If your bottle of piss has sediment at the bottom, THATS OK! Just shake it up, or agitate it, so it gets mixed agian. Then let it settle.

USE ONLY THE LIQUID, you dont want to give em piss with chunks in it!? dO YOU?

I think not, so once it all settles to the bottom, take that liquid from the top....
Or you can strian it,

USE YOUR COMMON SENSE....

Now, go blaze up, and relax, let your buddys piss do all the work.

borris420

handwarmers may work to keep it warm but your wanting your body temp, 98 degrees, or as labs say 90-99 degrees, if its not in that range you FAIL, and get royally served. so the easy way to do this is if ur a guy put it as close to your body as you can in the area between your balls and bunghole, and if ur a girl in the area under your boob, or in the area a condom normally would go, but that may cause complications. ive done it 2x with real and 1x with synthetic (quick fix 4.0),and im a guy and it worked like a charm, give it 2 hours and your as good as that dro u jus hit.

Smokey n Bandit

It depends on how thick the bottle you are using, in my case, I used a 50ml old shaving creme bottle, the plastic seems to be a lil tough.

So I used glovewarmers, and it kept the piss at a stable 94 degrees.... FOR 8 HOURS...

Of course I tested with water, and a put it in my crotch for an hour, with the warmers on it, then it came out to 98 degrees....

So ya, I totally agree with you....
But it depends on what kinda bottle and the thickness I guess....

Darque Pervert

I know someone that subbed and kept a condom filled witht he clean sample in their car on a sunny day for a couple of hours before taking the test.

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