Daria_Lives

First, I just wanna say you all are awesome and I'm thankful for all the advice here. I'm new, but I've been lurking awhile.

Anyways, I just wanted to share a bit of advice for all the women who are subbing (since I think that kind of advice is in the minority here). It's probably damn obvious, but if you're stashing the urine in your vag, have an emergency plan in case the container gets stuck up in there... I'm sure most people would think of this, but I'm a total doof and was so worried about practicing everything else about the test I never even considered it a possibility!

Thankfully, after clawing at my va-jay-jay for what seemed like *forever*, I finally got a hold of the container and yanked it out. All I could think of was having to explain to my employer why I had to refuse a drug test in order to go the hospital and get a bottle of fake pee out taken out of me. I give most women credit that they would consider this a possibility, but just a bit of advice for those who haven't. And a funny story for everyone else. ;D

Sec

I guess that is why a tampon has a string???

Just how large of a container did you use, anyway?

IF you are a virgin, I could see where you would think you would need to visit an emergency room to have something removed from your vagina, but geez, unless it is a mason jar, why would it "get stuck"? IF you can't reach it, just squat and push a bit (those of us who have had children know what I am talking about). If it remains stuck, you could just have your boyfriend or husband remove it. Who knows, you might have fun with that.

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Daria_Lives

The bottle was a 2oz jar for hair gel (or something) that happened to fit perfectly. And no, I know I wouldn't *really* have had to go the the hospital, but I tend to think in terms of worst-case scenarios, especially in that awkward position. It's an anxiety thing, for me, lol. I kinda thought it was funny thought to have at the time, given the circumstances. It may help to explain this is for the company my mother works for, so lots of extra pressure there.

It was 'stuck' in the sense that it is a cylindrical object with no string on it - and went up farther than I was able to quickly reach. About 2 minutes later I had gotten it, but it was after getting *extremely* personal with myself and freaking out all the while. I was scared I wouldn't be able to get it out within 4-5 minutes and risk causing any suspicion. If I had an hour to get it out, I wouldn't have been worried.

I'm not a virgin, though I have never given birth and I (can try to) understand how that would trivialize my experience.

Sec

No, I didn't mean to "trivialize" what you went through. I am sure you were totally panicking in that 2 minutes. (Although you were right, it was a rather funny story).

All you would have had to do is say to the collector, "I tried, I can't go right now. Can I have some water and try again later?". The collector would give you some water, then later, after say a 1/2 hour or an hour, you try again. Your natural lubricants and gravity would have done their job and the bottle would slide out more easily and/or be in a position where it would be more easily accessible.

BTW, in case you didn't know, you are allowed up to 3 hours to provide a urine specimen while drinking up to 40 ounces of water spread out evenly over that 3 hours. So, next time, if you need more time, now you know you can use it.

Daria_Lives

Oh, I know! And thanks for the advice - I had seen you mention it in other threads and it did run through my mind. I just completely freaked out at the time and didn't make the full connection. But you're right, now I know for next time. Thanks again!

1tokeovertheline

Sec3 I won't say a thing. I won't even mention plastic mustard bottles or plastic lemons and I will try not to Shit, I couldn't help it.

Daria, I am glad you got it out. I remember a girl one time at band camp stuck a ..............

PS
2 minutes is a loooong time. Time it on a clock or watch. It really is a long time.

JackBauer

I was going to post this in the feedback section but since I thought of a piece of useful advice I decided to continue here. 1toke after Daria thought another woman was trivializing her situation do you think those comments are appropriate? But Sec3 pointed out the usefulness of a string in other situations. Due to a panic and nerves, normal muscle control might be "lost" and any woman who wants to use her natural hiding place may want to tie a string to the bottle.

1tokeovertheline

You were going to post what in the feedback section?
Sec3 is the one that said:
Sec is the "other woman" and if you look at sec's post on the bottom, Daria gave sec thanks for that post.
Do I think what I said was appropriate? or what sec3 said?
I think they both were funny and I think you lost your sense of humor someplace.

alexgoalex

i know this is random, but i once read an article about a girl who used her cell phone alarm clock as a vibrator... yes,

anywho,

she got it stuck, freaked out, didn't tell her parents, and after three days, decided to tell them.

needless to say, they went to the emergency room,
and the girl ended up dying.

...sad

Sec

Guys, Sometimes we need to sit back and laugh at the situations we find ourselves in. How many times have you been in a circumstance that is absolutely terrifying to you, only to find yourselves laughing about it later (either several hours or several years).

Daria_Lives said: Yes, it was traumatic at the time, but we can laugh at it now. It is a really funny situation.

Oh, and this: I just have a really hard time believing. I am going to chalk it up to the urban legends that frequent this website.