deadphish

Not sure yet how this story turns out, but I have to put it out there.

I had been an everyday smoker for years but stopped about a year ago and did not smoke at all until April of this year. Then I smoked about a bowl in April, one small bowl on July 24th, 1/2 a joint on August 9th, and 2 hits from a pipe on August 11.

On September 6th, I find out I need to take a pre-employment piss test that day for a possible job. I panic, read websites, and try the dilution method. I do the whole thing - aspirin, vitamins and water. I drank a lot of water (too much it turns out), took the test and felt relieved. Went to a friend's house, have a few beers and start to feel better. Well, a couple of bong hits can't hurt, right? So I do a few small one hitter hits - maybe 3.

All is fine until Monday late afternoon (9/10) - the nurse from the potential employer calls and tells me there was a problem with my sample - it was dilute and I need to be retested. So that afternoon I start pounding water again and I go out and get a home test kit. At 6:00 am I wake up and take the first pee of the day and test it at home. I turn up negative on all 5 panels (THC is the only one I am worried about). So I take 4 aspirin, drink 32 ounces of water, and go back to sleep, but can't. Get up around 6:45, make a pot of coffee. I have two 8 ounce cups of coffee, and drink a glass of OJ with a multivitamin and a B complex. I pee a few times , drinking about 4 ounces more water after each piss. After 3 or so pees, it is not quite vitamin yellow, so I go in around 10:00 am and take the test.

No results yet, and I am sweating bullets. At least I have a good job now - just the one I want is better and pays about $12k more per year.

Lesson one - don't dilute too much. Follow the recipe exactly and you will reduce your chances of a "dilution" result. Lesson two - NEVER have a few celebratory bong hits until you are sure that the results are in and your sample does not register a dilute and you have to retake. Sounds obvious right? - learn from my mistake.

One question - since my first test was a dilute, does that automatically trigger a flag for the second test for them to definitely do a GC, or will they follow standard procedure? The sample is collected at a health office and then sent to Quest. Both times the control form said the same thing - 6405N SAP 5-50 GC/MS. I did not notice anything different on the form the second time compared to the first - no special instructions that I could see.

Another question - has anybody ever passed the at home test and flunked the actual test? I bet this happens a lot.

So place your bets, pass or fail? I give my chances 50-50. I will post the results here in a few days.