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guiltfree

Promised myself that if I'd come back and post the results of my pre-employment drug test. After being at my new dream job for awhile, I was asked to take a pre-employment drug test. This was at the end of my 90 day probationary period, so I had left my previous job for some time now. To fail this test would not only mean a lost opportunity, but a loss of income.

Anyways, on Monday I was told that the test would be coming up , and on Friday I was given a list of testing centers I could go to and 48 hours to give a urine sample. I'm a fairly regular smoker, usually everyday - at least a modest joint or a bunch of hits from a one-hitter. I stopped on Monday night, and began drinking water. I know it doesn't really do anything, but I was nervous and it sure wouldn't hurt. I drew together a plan to try cleansing with a product, testing at home before the event and if I failed, fall back to substitution, or bribery.

The night before I ate nothing but fruit and vegetables, and water, of course. I barely slept that night, going over the next day's plan over and over in my head. I also imagined how embarrassing it would be to get fired because of this. The next morning I had fruit for breakfast and at 10am I drank the cleansing drink I had bought from a local head shop. They had two kinds - one that would help you pass you if you had been without toxins for 48 hours and another that did the job if you were 2 hours clean. They were $30 and $40 respectively, so I went with the second one. Sorry, I actually don't remember the name - something like PureClean or whatever. It had 4000 or 5000 times the amount of a bunch of vitamins, and a crapload of creatine. It was a big bottle, and really tasted bad. I had to force it down and think of the mission to not throw it up. When it was gone the inside of the bottle was oily and stained orange from drink.

I drank more water, but not too much. Soon, the runs came and I worried that I was crapping away my future - literally. But I drank more water, and guessed that it would be good to get everything out. I peed quite a bit and was pretty much empty of everything. At 11:45am I took an AtHome test I purchased. While I waited for the results, I prepared a small thermos of hot water. I planned to put a container of clean urine I had gotten from a friend in the warm thermos until I got to the test center, where I would crotch it in the parking lot. I also planned to go by the ATM and get out $200.

I calmed myself and checked on the results - this procedure reminded me a lot of a pregnancy test. To my relief and joy, the test showed clean. I thanked God and then weighed my options. I decided to trust the test and pee in the cup myself, rather than risk getting caught attempting to substitute.

When I was at the testing center I noticed two things. First, it wouldn't have been hard to substitute. In the end, I was in a bathroom by myself peeing in a cup - I could have easily poured some pee in from a container smuggled in my underwear. I never saw a temperature thing on any cup, but I'm pretty sure the attendant, pee-doctor guy would have noticed if I handed him an ice cold pee sample. The second thing I noticed is that there is no way I could have bribed that guy. The place was rather busy, and he had a very serious look on his face.

Sorry for the long ass post, but I'm sitting here burning a joint, happy this ordeal is over with. Thanks a lot to all the helpful people on in this forum - you are doing a great service to the community. legalize it!

 

420godfather

...congratulations an passing and getting your dream job. Stick around a while and enjoy the place !!

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......420gf......