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HorseHockey

A new client is requiring that we all pee in a cup. We have a 'don't do it here' type policy, which is one of the reasons I felt safe partaking once in a while (okay 4 days a week). But there is NOTHING about random or even reasonable suspicion testing in our employee manual - just the requisite 'we can search your car if we think you have something'.

Not only that, but we LIED to the client about having a sufficient policy. Not only that, but we KNOW there is testing coming up (I am part of the new client team, and so privy to some of this info that others may not be), yet we aren't telling a guy we suspect of being a user, knowing that he will test positive and be fired. Nobody has a clue that I have ever, mostly because my performance at work is outstanding (which is why I am on the 'privy' list).

Chances are I can't pass in 2 weeks (295lbs, 4days a week - about 1/8th). What about this - legal? unethical? should I just jump off a bridge?

 

TheDude4589

Dude that seems illegal but definitely unethical. If the guy who gets fired decides to push the issue, he might have a leg to stand on since there was never a specific employee policy in place. I'm not a lawyer, but that's my opinion. Also, from a karmic standpoint, I think you should tip the guy off. There's a good chance he'll still fail, but I would at least help a fellow toker out.

As far as you, your best bet is probably substitution. Read the substitution sticky and get a bottle of Quick Fix 4.0. Practice, practice, practice...

29yeartoker

I don't know about the tipping the guy off cause you don't want that to come back and bite you on the butt. I was under the impression as well that there must be some type of policy in place but not for sure. I know where I work we have a such policy in place but they don't test anyone even for new hire. I know it's sweet!!! As far as you passing the test, I think you stand a better chance by subbing as well.

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HorseHockey

Update:
Earlier this week, my friend in HR came to me and confessed that the bigwigs in the company weren't going to let any testing happen no matter what. With that news, I pulled up my speeddial for my guy - but he wasn't answering. Bummer. So I decided to start looking around for a new guy. The next day, the same friend came to me again and played ignorant about the previous conversation, with a wink. She has no idea that I have so much at stake in this little carousel, which is a shame for her I guess, because almost every time she opens her mouth she implicates herself and the company.

About that time my guy calls me back to tell me he's been in the clink for 2 weeks, which is why I didn't get him on the phone. Imagine if he had answered! Anyway - the update is - test off, then test back on. Funny, the company is having a hard time finding volunteers for this little project because about 80% partay. Being about the only one in our industry that hasn't tested in the past practically invites all the redeyes to our door.

So - it's now going to be about 30 days between last toke (Dec 7) and pee-test (early Jan). I am going to keep drinking loads of water, lose some fat until about 7 days before, then have cheeseburgers and pork rinds for every meal for a week prior. Hell, I'm old and unhealthy enough I might not even be able to fill a cup anyway. And if I fail, well, sh*t meet fan.

I'll keep ya'll updated. Comment if you like. Y'all think 30days will do for a round guy like me with moderate metabolism and a eighth/week habit with dirtweed?

Sec

Your company may not have a specific policy regarding drug testing, but I'd be willing to bet they have something regarding their employees partaking in illegal activities. IF you are caught doing something illegal, you are supposed to report that to the employer, or something like that. The company can use that for ammo when firing people who test positive. They don't have a policy for the specific reason that the company can now be selective in whom they fire and who they choose to allow to remain employed. It gives them flexibility.

Get a home test or a few. Test yourself and eliminate the worry.

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HorseHockey

They are indeed just that nefarious. I would be willing to bet that although they're not nearly smart enough (given how haphazardly they have approached this) to have planned that scenario, they certainly are wicked enough to realize this little 'loophole' in their own stupidity.

I'll have to check the handbook for that 'illegal' clause.

Because of the type of business (which I won't divulge because it might just give away who they are, and then who I am), they also have scads of attorneys all over the place. The sheer financial weight of this company would make challenging them a troublesome and frustrating endeavor.

I will, of course, be home testing at least once prior to whatever test they administer.

HorseHockey

UPDATE:

Well they are continuing to make a mess of the DFW program. I learned today that they are PUBLISHING the test results to any employee that has network access. That's right - the DFW admin put a spreadsheet on a public drive so anyone in the company who wants to see can see. Not only that, she ADVERTISED it. Oy.

In the meantime, while they have been screwing this up, I have managed to get clean enough to pass a home test with the first daily void with NO dilution. Only 7 weeks of abstention to get the faint little pink line. Sheesh. The good news is that the PRESIDENT stated that 'once you pass you're in the clear' and 'we're not going to test anybody again'.

I am guessing I will get to test this week, so cross your fingers (but I think I am good). I will dilute ever so slightly just to be sure. Got 4 bottles of water, aspirin, and B2 just waiting for the call....

Sec

They can publish the statistics of the testing results, but cannot put names or identifying numbers with the results where others who do not have privledge (such as the HR Manager, Co. President, etc...) can see what result John Doe received on his specific drug test.

That would be akin to publishing your medical benefits usage to the entire company.