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vvicked0471

Ok, so heres the deal. I am 21 years old, 5'11", about 260 with a slow metabolism and a chronic smoker (everyday, usually 2 bongs a day) for about the last year. On Thursday (5/15/08) I found out that I would be taking a test for this new job and instantly stopped smoking (I applied for this position months ago and had been told it was filled so I started smoking again after a long enough break to pass any tests). I started exercising daily and drinking tons of water. Then I went out and bought a clean drink called Test Pure Platinum Magnum Force.

I have read in this very forum that it has worked for some people and not for others. I have also had success in the past with this product, though at that time I had only smoked once in my life. But reading all of the posts in this forum have made me wary of using the clean drink for risk of a negative dilute result. Failing is not an option as is the case with most drug tests.

So after a few days of back and forth I have finally decided to use a friend of mines clean urine and just sub. I have read the thread from N2 about how to successfully sub.

I have only two concerns: 1) The only person I knew that was available to donate clean urine is a female, while I have read that these tests aren't gender biased, I am still concerned. 2) Though the thread says to practice, I procrastinated until the last minute and have not had any time to practice, and I am taking the test this afternoon.

I am going to use the small travel size (2 oz) bottles instead of a condom due to the risk of the condom rupturing or being punctured. I am going to wrap them with a small amount of bubble wrap to ensure that they do not make noise as I walk into the testing facility, and I am going to keep them "crotched" per N2's advice in the substitution thread.

Given the above information what do those of you with experience think about my chances to successfully pull this off?? Thanks in advance for any replies...

~Jordan.

 

anxious

1) don't be concerned about them testing for hormones, or to see if it is a female's urine. you'll be fine there. trust what you have read here.

2) unfortunately, practice is your friend. you have to practice to make sure you get the temperature right, and can pull off teh sub without making noise, dropping shit, spilling the sub, etc. so, whether you can pull it off w/o practice, no one knows.

3) why wrap the bottle in bubble wrap? - you risk more noise from the bubble wrap rubbing against you, and you unraveling it to get the bottle out (THEY might be listening outside the door and will wonder what the hell you are doing with crinkling plastic)

- and god forbid a bubble pops! besides, i would think you would want the bottle close to your skin to keep the temp. good, and bubble wrap may prevent that. lose the bubble wrap for sure.

vvicked0471

I'm going to get rid of the bubble wrap, I'm going to use 2 bottles because I have read that a lot of testing facilities wont accept less than 60 ml, so I got 2 50ml bottles. I'm just going to tape them together to avoid from any noise due to rubbing. I'm going to have very little time to practice. But from what I have done so far it seems fairly easy, hopefully I don't screw it up...

pennyprobation

OK why not just wear some tight whityes?

they gave a lil pocket in there....try that...hell wear 2 pairs and tape them on the inside...

just dont sit down when u get their them them u gotta go real bad and dont want to sit...or somethin

plus they aint gonna make u take off ur draws (underwear)

anxious

???? don't sit down? that would look kinda strange. plus, most people don't have any problem sitting down. just practice walking around, sitting, etc.

and, i don't suggest tape - again, noise.

i did not sub but i practiced the shit out of it in case i had to - you would be surprised at how much noise you can make with tape/plastic/condoms/etc.

also, if you have squeeze bottles do not squeeze them. remove the lids and pour along the side of the cup

 

vvicked0471

Sitting down wasn't an issue, it was actually getting up that hurt. I did end up wearing some tighties and a pair of boxer briefs for some added insulation.

I ended up just using two travel size shampoo bottles that I cleaned thoroughly. I taped them together so I wouldn't have them rattling around while I was walking.

I used electric tape and wrapped tightly several times around both the bottles (the pics are attached)and there was no noise. Right before I left, I live a good drive away from the testing facility, I heated some water to just below boiling and put the filled bottles in the water for about 30 seconds to warm it a bit (this may have been overkill, but I wanted to be sure the temp would be within range). Then I "crotched" it as instructed by N2's post and went off to my test.

When I got there I had to wait about 15 minutes before being called back. The test wasn't observed (I've never taken a pre-employment test that was, so it was a safe bet that this one wouldn't be) and when I shut the stall door I unzipped, retrieved the bottles unscrewed both caps and poured them into the cup simultaneously with no gurgling. I had some time to practice that at least. It was perfectly within range, the temp strip indicated it was about 98 degrees. After that I slipped the bottles into my cargo pocket, which I had unbuttoned prior to entering the facility, urinated into the toilet for effect and walked out.

I will know by the end of the week if I passed, though I don't see why I wouldn't have. My friend who donated hasn't smoked in over two months, exercises 5 times a week and has a very low fat diet as well as a high metabolism. The only thing I worry about is that my friend is a female and is on birth control, but I don't see why they would test for that if they don't even test for female hormones.

Thanks for your replies!! I'll let everyone know what the results were when I get them...

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anxious

good job. let us know how it went. they arent testing for medications like birth control, and it doesnt give any false positives, so you should be just fine.

vvicked0471

Well I passed my test! I had a great experience with substitution and will be using this method in the future if the need ever arises! I got a call about 30 minutes ago from my future supervisor scheduling me for orientation on Tuesday. For anyone interested in subbing I strongly suggest reading N2's thread on the subject, the methods found within it helped me to pass my test. It was a little nerve racking but everything worked out in the end. Take it easy...