Quiz: Game of Thrones Weed Strains

0

As of last Sunday, Game of Thrones is back in full swing! Now you can indulge in your two favorite activities: Getting stoned and watching a show about politics and dragons. While smoking weed only enhances the viewing experience (the premiere was 5 hours long, right?), it can be difficult to know exactly which strain to smoke, or even which characters are still alive. Luckily, Marijuana.com is aware of these potential pit falls and knows how to avoid them.

Take this quick quiz to determine which Game of Thrones character you’re most like and which marijuana strain best suits you.

You handle conflict with…

  1. “Sword and shield.”
  2. “Polite words and a smile.”
  3. “By adding them to my kill list.”
  4. “Honor and integrity.”
  5. “Diplomacy.”
  6. “Manipulation.”
  7. “Dragons.”

Where would you like to chill?

  1. “By a hearth, sharing meat and mead.”
  2. “The Godswood.”
  3. “The House of Black and White.”
  4. “In a pool of blood.”
  5. “Wherever there’s wine and wenches.”
  6. “Tower of the Hand.”
  7. “The Iron Throne.”

What is your spirit animal?

  1. “A horse.”
  2. “A dead dire wolf.”
  3. “A missing dire wolf.”
  4. “A caged up dire wolf.”
  5. “A drunk lion.”
  6. “A pissed lion.”
  7. “A dragon that can fly you out of the city, but not back.”

How would you describe your family?

  1. “What? You mean Podrick?”
  2. “Mostly dead.”
  3. “Mostly dead.”
  4. “Mostly dead (myself included).”
  5. “Mostly dead.”
  6. “Mostly dead.”
  7. “Completely dead.”

Your favorite activity while high is…”

  1. “Podrick, seriously, leave me alone!”
  2. “Watching cute cat videos.”
  3. “Twitter feuding with Kanye.”
  4. “Watching Beyoncé’s Lemonade.”
  5. “Swiping around on Tinder.”
  6. “Binge watching House of Cards.”
  7. “Netflix and chill”

 

If you answered mostly 1’s you got….

Brienne of Tarth! You’re the biggest badass in all of Westeros. You’re honest, loyal, and relentless. Bottom line, you slay. Literally. You’ve slain a bunch of people in the name of protecting Starks. When it comes to protecting those you’ve pledged your loyalty to, there is no stopping you.

Brienne

Your weed strain of choice is White Rhino. This Indica will help you relax and heal your sore muscles after a long day of beating the living hell out of any man who dares cross you. White Rhino’s strong body high will quickly lead to drowsiness, so keep Pod around to tend the fire as you fall asleep. #PodrickForever

 

If you answered mostly 2’s you got….

Sansa Stark! You’re a regular Westerosi Cinderella. You’re living out your dreams of leaving your evil sisters behind to move into a castle with Prince Charming. Except you desperately miss your sister, the castle is filled with murderers, and Prince Charming is actually a sadistic boy King named Joffrey, then a sadistic man-boy named Ramsey.

Sansa

Your weed strain of choice is Cinderella’s Dream! Your dream may actually be a never ending hellish nightmare, but this Sativa is sure to give you a cerebral rush and help you think of a way to stop marrying maniacs. Once you’ve thought of a good escape route, Cinderella’s Dream’s stress relieving power should kick in. #FairyGodmotherBrienne

 

If you answered mostly 3’s you got….

Arya Stark! You’re the little lone wolf that could! You’ve been a highborn, a Braavosi Water Dancer, a princess, a beggar, a Faceless Man, and a beggar again. You’ve lived a pretty full life for someone who hasn’t hit puberty. You used to kick a ton of ass, but then your homie took your eyesight. You might be pretty bummed right now, but you shouldn’t fret too much. Daredevil is blind and he kicks the life out of everyone.

Arya

Your weed strain of choice is Girl Scout Cookies! As a blind beggar and former assassin, you’re no stranger to providing strong doses of relief, which is exactly what this Hybrid does. Along with euphoric head highs and full bodied relaxation, GSC provides pain and stress relief, which should come in handy for all the times Waif beats you with a stick. #AllMenMustSmoke.

 

If you answered mostly 4’s you got….

Jon Snow! You’re probably the only person with a moral compass and sense of honor at the Wall. You’re beloved by everyone, you bastard. Well, almost everyone. Your so called “Brothers” totally staged a coup to stab you to death just because you broke your stupid vows that hardly made any sense. If only everyone could have warned you not to join the Night’s Watch back in episode one….

Jon

Your weed strain of choice is Ghost OG! We have some bad news for you: you’re dead, bro. You’re as much of a Ghost as your dire wolf Ghost. Don’t worry, you’re probably rising from the dead as soon as Melisandre wakes up from her senior nap, but until then stick to Ghost OG. This Hybrid hits as hard and fast as a Valyrian steel sword. You won’t know if the relaxing body high and soaring head buzz is from smoking this dank bud, or the fact that you’ve lost a ton of blood. #ForTheWatch

 

If you answered mostly 5’s you got…

Tyrion Lannister! While everyone else swings swords, your mind is your greatest weapon. You may be lacking in physical attributes, but you more than compensate with your quick wit and strategic mind. Despite years of harsh treatment and cruelty by others, you’re remarkably compassionate. Sure, sometimes you think with the wrong head and get blackout drunk, but that just makes us love you more.

Tyrion

Your weed strain of choice is Obama Kush! Like our 44th President, you inherited a shitty situation when the former ruler decided to ride away on a dragon and get kidnapped by a horde of savages. No worries, just cozy up with this unique Indica that cerebrally stimulates and provides euphoric buzzes. If you’re going to turn Meereen around, you’re going to need some extra mental firepower. #ThanksALotTyrion

 

If you answered mostly 6’s you got…

Cersei Lannister! You’re beautiful, willful, and ambitious, perhaps to a fault. You’re willing to betray practically anyone if it’s in your best interest, and sometimes when it’s not. Despite your tendency to be petty and cruel, your love of your children is sincere and one of your few redeeming qualities. Which of course makes the fact that two out of the three have been murdered by your enemies all the more tragic. Hold Tommen tight, grrrrrrrl!

Cersei

Your weed strain of choice is Killer Queen! Uplifting and thought provoking, this Hybrid is perfect for the Queen on the go. Plotting and scheming will feel like a breeze with this strain and won’t leave you feeling hazy or tired. Revenge has never felt so easy! #weedkween

 

If you answered mostly 7’s you got….

Daenerys Targaryen! You’re proud, confident, and fiercely dedicated to justice. A woman of many talents and even more names, you’re currently in Essos, breaking chains and breaking hearts as you make moves to win back the Iron Throne. Sure, you got kidnapped by a Dothraki  khalasar and things aren’t looking too hot at the moment, but your resiliency and determination have gotten you out of tighter jams in the past.

IMG_2349

Your weed strain of choice is White Fire OG! This one should be obvious, and if it isn’t, let’s clear it up: Dragons. You’re the mother of them, which is perfect for smoking this Hybrid. A great strain that enhances creativity and leaves you feeling social will be highly valuable as you navigate Meereen’s political trappings. A nice full bodied high compliments the head buzz, relieving stress and anxiety. Puff some White Fire OG until Drogon decides to show up and breath actual fire. #WiFi

 

If you answered a variety of ways you got….

Olly! You’re all over the place and everyone hates you. You killed Ygritte, you killed Jon Snow, and your worst crime is that you are constantly annoying. You don’t have a weed strain of choice because you don’t deserve weed. You don’t deserve anything.

o-OLLY-facebook
Now that you know which character you’re most like and which weed strain you should be smoking. Watch Game of Thrones this Sunday and toke accordingly.  

Photos Courtesy of HBO

About Author

Nic Juarez is a Long Beach based writer interested in the intersection of feminism, race relations, drug policy, pop culture, and Kanye West. Aside from contributing to Marijuana.com, he works as a copywriter, screenwriter, playwright, and high school sketch show director (SNL for teenagers, he’s their Lorne Michaels). He’s a big fan of Joss Fong, Kathleen Hanna, Lydia Davis, Charlie Kaufman, and the reality television show, Survivor. If anyone could put Nic in contact with Joss Fong he would GREATLY appreciate it.

Leave A Reply