Chronic Stupidity: Is Nasty Boy Working?


As Americans traverse the terrain of newly minted marijuana legalization in many states, it’s important to remember that it is a learning process. One of the most important components of any training is finding out what not to do. We believe highlighting some of the blunders people make while trying to get their marijuana “business” off the ground can serve as a valuable lesson to anyone out there trying to plot on their first million. Alas, we give you Chronic Stupidity. It should go without saying, but don’t try this at home.

Fast food and marijuana just go together, they always have. Whether you start with the weed and end up with the munchies, or start with the #4 combo and use the bud to heal your stomach ache after — they’re a match made in stoner heaven.

Normally, you can’t get weed and fast food at the same store, but this is 2017, where innovation in the marketplace is king and new ideas are the driving force of our nation’s economic future. Well, maybe not this idea.

We take you to New Hampshire, where the state motto is “Live Free or Die.” As it turns out, the “live free” part is fairly contingent on not distributing weed through the drive-thru window of a Burger King while you’re working. Let’s back up, though.

Two employees at an Epping, New Hampshire Burger King were arrested on a variety of charges after police caught them red-handed — and it wasn’t from the Cheetos Chicken Fries.

Epping Police, with help from the Rockingham County Drug Task Force, conducted a sting operation on Jan. 21 at the Route 125 Burger King (the one where they shut off the ice cream machine at 9 PM for the night but tell you it’s broken so they don’t have to clean it, you know the one).

During their covert investigation, an undercover drive-thru patron participated in a transaction with 20-year-old BK Lounge employee Garrett Norris that resulted in not only an assortment of undisclosed food items to bring back for the boys at the station but a side order of weed as well.

During their investigation, law enforcement learned that Norris and his accomplice employed a less-than-intricate system of code words in this distribution operation to determine which customers wanted Paris OG and which ones just wanted french fries.

According to Police, customers looking to purchase something actually enjoyable from the Burger King (read: weed) would first ask if “Nasty Boy” was on the clock. If the Boy named Nasty was working, customers would request an order of “extra crispy” fries to signal their desire for some greasy ganja.

After Norris handed over the bag of food and a separate coffee cup stuffed with the secret stash, officers swarmed the Burger King as if they were regular American consumers and the building was a McDonald’s. Cops found the rest of Garrett’s supply in the back of the “restaurant” and charged the misguided entrepreneur with the possession of a controlled drug with intent to distribute.


After diving deep into the sophisticated criminal organization’s workings, police also decided to arrest 19-year-old Assistant Shift Manager Meagan Dearborn on charges of unlawful possession of alcohol and conspiracy to distribute drugs.

Both Norris and Dearborn were released on $2,500 bail and told to return for arraignment on Feb. 22 at 8 a.m.

My real issue is this second third fourth-rate fast food chain has been jacking ideas from the competition for years. First, they stole the Big Mac and McRib from Mickey D’s, then they robbed poor little redheaded Wendy of her Baconator. Now, the King is appropriating the illegal portions of their rival’s business. We’re on to you BK.burgerking

Cover Image Courtesy of St. George News


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Used to write about music for XXL, Elevator, Complex, Genius, and a few other outlets. Follow @LongLiveTheDuke on Twitter if you’d like to read way fewer words by me.

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